


This Little Light of Mine

by tropicalanee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Cutting, Daichi is confused, Eventual Happy Ending, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Hinata's mom is sick, His Dad Is A Dick, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, KageHina - Freeform, Kenma cries, Minor Character Death, Oikawa isn't as much of an asshole, Panic Attacks, Probably., Rape, Sad!Hinata, Self-Harm, Suga Loves Hinata, Suicidal Thoughts, Tanaka Just Wants to Help, Team Dynamics, TsukiHina, depressed!hinata, hinata is depressed, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2018-11-28 06:29:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 60,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11412189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tropicalanee/pseuds/tropicalanee
Summary: Hinata's going through a really tough time, but he'd rather not burden his team.The Karasuno Volleyball Team begin to worry anyways. And all at once, everything starts falling apart.!TRIGGER WARNINGS!Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment(other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)!TRIGGER WARNINGS!





	1. The Eclipse

**Author's Note:**

> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
>  Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment  
> (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)  
> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!

No one was really sure when it started, but lately Hinata Shouyou has been distancing himself from his volleyball team. The first year was usually bouncing off the walls, similar to a baby bird. He was quite known for his bubbly and outgoing personality, so it didn’t exactly take a genius to figure out something was wrong with the little red head when he started becoming reserved.

\-----

The first sign was a couple weeks ago. Usually, Kageyama would meet up with Hinata on their way to morning practice and the duo would end up racing each other to the school. But one day, Hinata didn’t show up. Kageyama had simply shrugged it off, thinking that the small middle blocker had simply overslept. When the blue eyed setter arrived at school that morning, Hinata had already been waiting on the stairs that led to the club room. Kageyama felt angered by the fact that Hinata had gotten to school before him, therefore winning in their daily morning race. “Oi, dumbass.” Kageyama had called, seeing his partner flinch at the sound of his voice. “What time did you get here?” As the first year setter approached the sun child, he noticed something was off right away.

Instead of gloating about his instantaneous win that morning, Kageyama noticed how Hinata looked completely and utterly exhausted, as if the latter hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. “Hey..Kageyama.” Hinata had greeted quietly, which was unusual in itself. Hinata was just born a naturally loud and bright person. And currently, the boy sitting on the stairs was not the Hinata that Kageyama knew. Instead of glowing ginger hair, the color seemed dull in a way that Kageyama just couldn’t describe. Hinata’s skin was pale, which was hard to tell considering that Hinata’s normal complexion was as pale as it came. Dark purple bags appeared to sink the small first year’s eyes into his skull. But what really bothered Kageyama was Hinata’s eyes themselves. Usually, Hinata’s golden brown eyes glowed with determination and passion, lighting up everything in their line of sight. But as of right now, Hinata’s eyes just looked dead, void of any emotion. That alone caused a shiver to run down Kageyama’s spine.

“Hinata.” The raven haired teen called the attention of his friend. Hinata stared at him. “What’s wrong?” Kageyama asked, seriously concerned. Hinata just shook his head though, running his right hand through his hair. Kageyama almost wanted to punch the ginger when he was flashed a small, weak smile. But Kageyama only saw the fakeness.

Needless to say that when the rest of the team--as well as Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei--had arrived, everyone was thrown off by both Hinata’s appearance and lack of spirit. The little ball of energy was no more, missing every single one of Kageyama’s tosses. It was like Hinata wasn’t even with them. His mind was clearly somewhere else. Ukai was worried about the sudden ‘off day’ that Hinata was having, so he resorted to pulling Hinata off the court for the day. 

Everyone was taken aback when Hinata had thrown a fit. “NO! I’M STAYING!” The ginger yelled weakly. 

“Hinata, in your condition right now, you’re at a risk of hurting others and more importantly, yourself.” Ukai tried to explain calmly. It was obvious that Hinata was fragile at the moment, so Ukai had to restrain himself from yelling at the teen boy. “You can play again when I see that you’re feeling better. For now, sit back and rest.” Hinata had opened his mouth to argue, but was immediately silenced when a hand was placed on his left shoulder. He turned to see who it was, only to find that it was his captain. Daichi’s dark brown eyes willed the small middle blocker off the court with a small frown tugging at his lips. With that, Hinata clicked his tongue and sat in the farthest corner away from everyone. 

Reluctantly after that, everyone else resumed practice, though the air was thick with tension. Every now and then, they would sneak glances toward Hinata. The ginger was not watching them practice. Instead, his head was bowed in between his knees and his hands ruffling his hair with exasperation. 

They were worried.

\-----

The second sign came a couple days after the first, on a Monday.

Hinata was doing a little better. Some color had returned to his face and his eyes no longer seemed to sink into his head. The bags under his eyes were less prominent, though they still ghosted the under portion of the ginger’s eyes.

The small middle blocker walked into practice that morning, late. No one scolded him, or even bothered bringing it up. The volleyball team greeted Hinata like they usually would, but what they were not expecting was Hinata bowing at a perfect ninety degree angle in front of them. “I’m sorry for the way I acted on Friday.” He apologized in the quietest voice ever heard from the sun child.

Sugawara stepped forward, patting his underclassman’s head and signaled for the first year to stand up straight. “Don’t mind, Hinata.” The ashen haired third year smiled brightly, in hopes of easing a bit of the tension in the gym. What the other’s noticed was that Sugawara didn’t ask why the ginger acted the way he did. And they understood. It was too soon.

And practice semi went back to normal. Tension was still high, and many pairs of eyes lingered on Hinata’s small frame for a minute or so during breaks. Hinata wasn’t smiling still, nor was he bouncing around annoying the other first years. Instead, he kept his distance from the team and only interacted with them when he was approached first. Even then, he only gave one worded responses. 

Kageyama noticed that Hinata had begun doing the same during classes. The ginger was pushing away his friends. He quickly disappeared as soon as the bell rang for lunch, and when Kageyama tried going after him, Hinata just sped up. It was only then, that Kageyama cursed his partner’s agility and stamina. Even when the raven haired setter tried looking for Hinata throughout lunch period, the boy was nowhere to be found. The bell rang again an hour later, telling students to return back to their classes for the next half of the day. Kageyama didn’t see Hinata again until right before the teacher entered the room.

Hinata had scurried in quickly, head down and not making eye contact with anyone. When Hinata took his seat, Kageyama leaned forward to whisper toward his teammate. “Oi, dumbass. Where were you during lunch?” Kageyama had questioned. Dull golden eyes glanced his way for a second, before he was shrugged off and the teacher walked in.

It only got weirder as the day went on.

Practice had come to an end, for the most part. Ukai had dismissed the bunch of rowdy teenagers for individual practice. Ukai had left early to take care of the Foot Hill Store at the bottom of the hill, while his mom cleaned out the storage area. Takeda had also taken his leave, with the excuse of needing extra time to correct homework in his classes. That left Daichi and Sugawara to lock up the gym after everyone decides to finally call quits for the night.

“Hinata.” Kageyama called out to the ginger, who was making his way toward the door. The others watched the scene from the corners of their eyes. “Let’s practice our new quick.” The blue eyed first year stated. His eyes watched sharply, catching the way Hinata’s shoulders twitched as if he’d been caught stealing.

Hinata turned around fully, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand. “I can’t Kageyama. I actually need to leave early today, so..” The first year whispered, eyes staring intently at the waxed wooden floors. Hinata glanced up for a mere second, catching sight of Kageyama’s piercing blue eyes, and flinched. As if to cover up his reaction, Hinata smiled smally, like he’s been doing lately.

And god. They hated it.

It was so clearly, utterly fake. It made the team’s skin crawl with discomfort. It simply wasn’t their Hinata.

When Hinata got no replies of protest, he quickly escaped out the gym.

And it became a usual thing. Hinata would bolt out of the gym as soon as everyone was dismissed for individual practice.

\-----

A week and a half had gone by since Hinata’s strange behavior started. And everyone on the volleyball team was scared for their little ginger haired teammate. Takeda spoke to Hinata’s teachers on a daily basis, trying to find anything out about the aforementioned student’s sudden change in behavior. But oddly enough, no one had heard a thing. Ukai was forced to continuously pull Hinata off the court due to the baby crow’s mental and physical state deteriorating. Each time, Hinata would try to convince him that he was okay and that he could continue playing, but Ukai couldn’t take the risk. And Hinata would frown, and leave the gym. They all pretended like they hadn’t heard the screams of frustration and anguish on these particular days.

Daichi, being the team captain, was at a complete loss. He didn’t know how to help his hurting junior. At first he had tried waiting to see if Hinata would come to him, maybe tell him what was wrong. But that only stayed a dream of hope. Hinata never came to him, and as far as he was concerned, the ginger didn’t go to anyone else. Daichi wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t know who to ask, because clearly, no one else knew either.

Sugawara was beyond worried for Hinata. Probably more so than anyone else. Besides Tanaka, Sugawara had been on Hinata’s side since the beginning of the year. The ginger was very precious to the ashen haired teen, like a younger brother that Sugawara never got. So seeing his brotherly figure hurting like he was, Sugawara was pained too.

Asahi felt just like anyone else. He was worried. Never had he imagined Hinata, of all people, to be so broken and lost. The first year was always bouncing here and there, declaring his rivalry with everyone in sight. Asahi missed the way Hinata would grin up at him, telling him that we was the coolest ace ever and that Hinata wouldn’t lose to him. Somehow, Asahi wanted to help Hinata, just like the way Hinata’s spirit helped him stand on the court again.

Tanaka was in pieces. His head was muddled by thoughts of Hinata being bullied and too scared to say anything to his senpai. Sometimes, Tanaka couldn’t help the morbid thoughts that flooded his mind. He was scared for Hinata. Tanaka wondered why the ginger wouldn’t come to him because Hinata would always hint--or even flat out say it--that he would always come to Tanaka if someone was messing with him. So why was this different?

Nishinoya didn’t even know what to think. To him, Hinata was the only underclassman that really, undoubtedly looked up to him as an upperclassman. Hinata was similar to him in lots of ways, for instance the way they were so genuine and radiated positive energy. With Hinata now being so quiet and distant, it caused Nishinoya to think that he had to be positive enough for the two of them. It felt like he wasn’t allowed to openly show his concern for Hinata because he had to comfort the rest of his team by staying positive. It was tiring. He wanted Hinata back.

Yamaguchi was worried about everyone, not just Hinata. The team was constantly surrounded by an air of tension and stress. He found it rather depressing, but he was not like Hinata or Nishinoya. He couldn’t say anything to cheer up the team. Yamaguchi knew his words wouldn’t reach them. He had to idly stand by and watch his teammates--no, his friends--slowly destroy themselves. And Yamaguchi didn’t blame Hinata. Oh god, of course not. Hinata was the one hurting the most, but that still didn’t change the fact that everyone was being affected negatively.

Tsukishima may come off as a jerk most of the time, but he did care for his team. Not that he’d admit that to anyone. He saw how much his team needed the light that Hinata constantly radiated. Now that it was taken away from them, they were all left in the dark, blind and cold. So Tsukishima observed Hinata closely, trying to pick out anything that might give away why he had started acting the way he did. But even for someone as keen and intelligent as Tsukishima, the blonde couldn’t see anything. All he saw were the telltale signs of exhaustion. Of course, he knew that there was something more. Maybe Hinata was a better liar than they all gave him credit for.

Kageyama didn’t know how to react to everything that was going on. Sure, he admitted that he was worried for his partner, but what use is that? Hinata was still hurting and there was nothing that he could do to alleviate some of that pain. Kageyama’s tried helping Hinata out, like siding with the ginger when Ukai wanted to pull that latter off the court. He’d argue that Hinata was still okay for a couple for spikes. But it always ended the same way. Hinata was forced off the court. Kageyama would feel the urge to chase after him, knowing what would come next. The screams. The painful, soul cutting screams filled with such distress. They echoed in Kageyama’s head every time he closed his eyes. He didn’t know what else he could do to help. The team was slowly falling apart and Kageyama was powerless to stop it.

\----- 

The third sign was the worst one yet.

It scared them all. It made their blood run cold.

It made them question, ‘Why?’

On Wednesday afternoon, into the second week of Hinata’s strange behavior, the ginger was that last to arrive in the club room. But even that had become a usual thing now. There were no more rowdy races between Kageyama and Hinata. So when the tiny middle blocker entered the room, everyone whispered their greetings toward him. Their eyes following Hinata’s small frame as he settled in that farthest corner away from everyone.

It was normal.

Hinata would come in late, set his bag down in the farthest corner, and sluggishly undress--practically waiting for everyone else to leave before he completely unclothed himself. This time was just a bit different though. Everyone moved slower than usual in undressing, taking their time. Their eyes glued to Hinata.

The one that was being stared at, flinched under everyone’s predatory gaze. Hinata felt uncomfortable. He just wanted to take his bag and run home. The ginger tried going slower in undressing, waiting for his teammates to leave. But they didn’t. So with a heavy heart and tears pooling at the corners of golden brown eyes, Hinata stripped himself of his school uniform. He thanked his past self for deciding to wear a long sleeve under his uniform. Hinata rummaged through his bag and pulled out his practice shorts, and quickly slipping them on. He slipped on his outdoor shoes and quietly whispered, “I’ll be leaving first then..” With that, Hinata was the first to leave.

Kageyama watched quietly as Hinata squirmed under the heat of the white long sleeved shirt he was wearing. Shimizu had offered the boy some water, and Hinata took it, greedily gulping the contents down. The raven haired teen heard Shimizu speak, “Why don’t you change into a tshirt, Hinata?”

The middle blocker flinched, flashing that fake smile again. “I’m okay.” Was all he said, before rushing back onto the court to escape any further confrontation.

“Hinata, maybe you should go change.” Sugawara tried again, and Kageyama assumed that the third year heard Shimizu’s suggestion as well. “We don’t want you passing out from overheating your body.” He said calmly. Sugawara reached up to lightly place his hand on Hinata’s shoulder. But Hinata noticeably flinched backward, eyes wide. Fear underlying the brown hues of Hinata’s eyes. Everyone took note of the panic that seemed to flash across the ginger’s face, and how Hinata’s breath had quickened.

Asahi frowned at the sight. He knew the symptoms well. Beads of sweat began forming on the side of Hinata’s temple. The way the first year’s eyes crinkled at the corners, wanting to shut them closed but too scared to lose sight of what was in front of him. How Hinata’s fists clenched and unclenched. Especially the way the boy’s chest heaved up and down, slowly becoming faster and faster with each breath. Asahi tried to voice out his suspicion, but his tongue wouldn’t form words. Instead, he watched helplessly as his teammates, coach, advisor, and manager began to crowd the scared baby crow.

But finally seeing Hinata collapse to the ground and curl in on himself was enough to get Asahi moving. He pushed through the others, “Get back.” He didn’t even recognize his own voice, deep, demanding, calm. Asahi bent down in front of Hinata, about a foot away. “Hinata.” He cooed softly, not making any movements to touch the first year. Asahi called the ginger’s name again, quieter, so only Hinata could have possibly heard him. Golden brown eyes looked back at him through damp orange locks. Hinata’s figure shook, and Asahi could hear his panting becoming more and more strained. “Hinata, you have to breathe, okay?” Asahi made a move this time, ever so slowly reaching out. He froze when Hinata’s breath hitched again and the tremors became worse. Still the two did not break eye contact. “I’m not going to do anything, Hinata. I just want to help. And I need you to breath. Can you do that?” By the end of Asahi’s sentence, he had successfully managed to place a hand on Hinata’s shoulder. Hinata nodded faintly. Asahi took deep breaths, along with Hinata, who was finally calming down from his panic attack. Still, Asahi stared directly into the younger boy’s eyes. And after another silent minute, Hinata was breathing normally again. The tremors wracking his small figure had stopped. Now, Hinata just looked exhausted with his half lidded eyes and the way he leaned into Asahi’s touch. It was the first time in a long time that they’d seen Hinata willingly accept hand-to-hand contact.

“Nice job, Asahi.” Daichi praised with a thin smile. Hinata’s eyes were closed and the boys breathing was slow. He was asleep.

Asahi smiled back, lifting Hinata and carrying the first year to the side. Shimizu had pulled off her jacket and folded it for Hinata to sleep on. The giant ace carefully set the ginger down. “I used to have panic attacks a lot as a kid.” He whispered, sheepishly.

“I’m sorry.” Everyone turned at the sound of Sugawara apologizing. “I triggered it.”

“Don’t apologize Suga-san.” Nishinoya patted the third year setter’s back. “It’s not like you meant to do it.” Sugawara nodded, giving his underclassman a small smile.

“We should change his shirt.” Ukai suggested, seeing the way that sweat still stuck to Hinata’s skin. “We can’t have him overheating.” There was a small murmur of agreement.

Tsukishima had returned from the club room, holding one of Hinata’s practice shirts in his hand. He handed it to Sugawara. Asahi lifted Hinata’s upper body carefully, letting Sugawara easily reach to remove Hinata’s long sleeve. But it wasn’t long until the ashen haired teen stopped, hands frozen halfway from pulling off the shirt. There before them, was their precious teammate, student, and friend. He was sleeping peacefully after a bad panic attack, but what had made them freeze was the sight of bandages being wrapped around Hinata’s torso.

The team held their breaths.

Slowly--and now even more carefully than before--Sugawara pulled the white long sleeve over Hinata’s head. The setter froze once more. He faintly heard someone turning away and gagging. He also hear the gasps and sobs that broke past his friend’s lips. But Sugawara’s mind was completely blank. His honey brown eyes wide, as he scanned Hinata’s body.

The ginger’s body was skinny, too skinny. The outline of his ribs were peaking through the skin. Hinata’s body was no longer the toned one they knew. Bandages were sloppily wrapped around the majority of Hinata’s upper body. Sploches of dark red, almost black, looking spots bled through the dirtied bandages, both on Hinata’s back and stomach.

Sugawara barely registered Shimizu taking place besides him, a first aid kit at her side. He barely noticed when Asahi’s place was taken by Takeda. Nor did he notice when he was lifted to his feet and ushered outside with the rest of the team. “Suga. Suga. Suga!” Sugawara blinked, his eyes focusing on the blur in front of him. It was Daichi, who’s eyes were just as wide as his. “Suga, are you okay?” Daichi questioned. It took a moment for the words to process in his head. Just then, Sugawara heard the others. He heard sobbing, probably from Asahi and Yamaguchi. He heard Nishinoya and Tanaka cursing whoever caused those wounds littering Hinata’s abdomen. He heard Kageyama and Tsukishima mutually agreeing on plans to kill whoever hurt Shinata. He hear Ennoshita muttering ‘no’ over and over again, under his breath. He heard Kinoshita and Narita quietly asking themselves, ‘why didn’t we notice sooner?’ He heard Ukai’s muffled voice through the closed doors of the second gym, talking to someone on the phone. He heard Takeda’s soft but stern instructions guiding Shimizu through thoroughly cleaning Hinata’s injuries. “Suga!” Sugawara turned his eyes back to Daichi, who was still staring at him.

“I’m not okay.” Sugawara breathed out. “God, I’m not okay.” He was pulled into a hug by Daichi. “Who...who would do that? T-to Hinata….of all people..?”

Daichi’s voice cracked as he spoke. “I don’t know. But we’ll find them. We’ll turn them in.” He said surely. “We’ll be there for Hinata now, and help him.”

“We’re not just going to stand by anymore.”


	2. Insight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
>  Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment  
> (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)  
> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!

Everything has been going wrong for Hinata lately. In a span of a couple weeks, so many things have changed in the sun child’s life. So many things that were just out of his control.

And Hinata hated it.

He hated the fact that he was so weak in front of his worst fears. He hated that he knows how different he acted at school. He hated everyone was constantly worried about him. He especially hated that he was the cause of others current dismay.

He was Hinata Shouyou, after all.

He was supposed to be the endless ball of energy that no one could even possibly dream of controlling. He was supposed to be the child that was born from the rays of sunlight that touched the Earth. He was supposed to smile and grin, and not have any care in the world.

But Hinata just couldn’t anymore.

\-----

Hinata was scared when he woke up.

The world was blurred into an array of foggy colors. One was particularly close to Hinata. It was a mass of black that floated above him. The blur moved, and Hinata blinked. Once. Twice. Then the world came into view. The person leaning over Hinata was Takeda. The teacher’s lips moved, but Hinata couldn’t make out any words.

A groan clawed itself past Hinata’s lips. “Hinata.” He heard Takeda call his name. “Stay still. We need to fix your bandages.”

And suddenly, Hinata felt like he was drowning. His breath was caught in his chest, and he noticed how cold the air seemed. Slowly, Hinata blinked and moved his golden brown eyes away from Takeda’s warm brown hues. He looked around, noticing his manager to his right and especially took note of the first aid kit on her lap. Ukai was pacing a few feet away, glaring at his phone and muttering a string of curses. Then Hinata looked down at his own body. The way his upper half was openly exposed to the three people in the gym.

Panic flooded through Hinata again. His blood went cold and chills wracked his body. He shook away from Takeda’s grip, fleeing toward the closest corner of the gym. The world spun around Hinata. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking, ‘They know. God, they know. They’ll hate me.’ Over and over again, the thoughts repeated in his head. Hinata felt the dull thumping against his skull and the strain he felt itching behind his eyes. His stomach churned. He didn’t hear the way Takeda cooed at him from a few feet away. It felt like the world was caving in around him.

Hinata’s breath became staggered. He faintly heard Asahi’s voice in his head, telling him to breath. And he tried. He really did. But the thoughts and voices continued to swirl in the black abyss of his subconscious. They wouldn’t go away.

But through the loud ringing echoing his ears, Hinata was able to make out one word.

“...ambulance at Karasuno High School right away. We hav-” Ukai’s voice faded again. And Hinata gasped at the name of the emergency vehicle being uttered. He didn’t remember moving, but his body snapped forward toward his coach. Hinata pulled the small device from Ukai’s grasp, and hung up. “Hinata!” Ukai breathed, staring wide eyed at the first year student.

“I’m fine.” Hinata heard his voice whisper, only it didn’t sound like his. No, it couldn’t have been his. His voice was loud and full of life. The voice he heard was strained, and in pain. Definitely not his. “I..I’ll just..go..home?”

The word ‘home’ felt strange on the ginger’s tongue. He blinked. ‘Was it really home anymore?’ He asked himself.

Takeda stood in front of Hinata, but his figure was only blurred by the mass of tears pooling his eyes. “You can’t go home in your condition Hinata. You need to see a doctor. You’re wounds may be infected.” The teacher tried to reason, but Hinata only heard half of those words.

‘If I go, then they’ll all know. They’ll all leave me. They’ll all-’

“No.” Hinata’s whimpered, crouching down and shielded his face from view. He barely noticed a jacket being placed upon his shoulders.

There was movement in the corner of Hinata’s eyes, but he didn’t hear anything that was being said. The thoughts in his head were just too loud for him to hear anything else. A hand came forward, being placed on Hinata’s shoulder. The contact was reassuring, but Hinata couldn’t help but to flinch away. The buzzing in the back of his head was what Hinata sought to focus on, ignoring the voices in his head and those of the people around him.

Suddenly the room felt small. Hinata felt too crowded. He wanted to escape; to leave.

And that’s what he did.

Hinata shot up, and out the doors. Colors sped behind him, and the cool wind hit his skin. Hinata shivered. He had to get away. Away from the small room. Away from the judgemental eyes of his peers. Just, away from everything.

He didn’t know how long he ran for. Or even where he was going. But when Hinata’s knees finally buckled, he gasped for air. Hinata placed his right hand over his heart, clutching at the fabric between his fingers. He desperately tried to get his breath under control. Again, Asahi’s calm voice told him to breath. Hinata took a deep breath of air, letting the voices in his head fade. He did this a couple times, and soon enough, Hinata could finally think clearly again.

The small middle blocker let his brown eyes glance around at his surroundings. Hinata recognized the place. And suddenly the teen felt the need to recompose himself. He had to make it look like nothing was wrong, for her sake. Hinata stood on shaky legs, zipping up the too large jacket that circled around his small frame. With a heavy sigh, Hinata took one step forward, and then another. And the ginger stepped through the gates of a daycare.

Small children played on the playground to Hinata’s left. They were happy and smiling, like kids should. And for a mere second, Hinata envied them. He wanted to be happy like that again, like a child without a care in the world. He wanted to be oblivious to all the horrible things that were currently happening in his life. Hinata shook his head from the thoughts. The small red headed first year continued walking toward the small daycare building, where children constantly ran in and out. “Nii-chan!” Hinata grimaced at the weight that rocketed itself into his injured abdomen.

Hinata looked down, letting his arms encircle the small ginger girl that currently had her head buried in his stomach. Her tiny arms couldn’t fully wrap around his bigger body. Hinata felt his heart swell at the sight of his younger sister, Hinata Natsu. She looked up at him with a wide toothy smile and shining golden eyes that were much like his own. “Natsu.” Hinata petted his sister’s head affectionately.

“Nii-chan, you’re here early.” The girl giggled, then tilted her head. “Or that’s what sensei said.” Hinata let a genuine chuckle rumble through his chest. Natsu peering up at him.

“Yes. I’m here early.” Hinata smiled. “Are you ready to go?”

Natsu pulled away from her brother’s grasp. “Yes! I’ll go get my bag!” The tiny red head exclaimed, and bounced away. Hinata could feel the way his chest ached at the sight of his younger sister’s back facing him, as she happily engaged with her friends. Hinata knew he was lying to her, and that hurt more than anything else. He hated how she was so unaware of how their family was falling apart; how he couldn’t do anything to stop it from happening.

Hinata felt like a failure. Like a pathetic excuse for an older brother.

“Hinata-kun?” Hinata jerked out of his thoughts, as one of Natsu’s teachers stood in front of him. “Could you sign Natsu-chan out?” The older woman smiled thinly. Of course they knew. They had to because sometimes Natsu would throw fits because their mom wasn’t getting better. Hinata almost regretted not informing his own school, but he stopped his thoughts before they could completely form.

“Yes.” Hinata stepped over to the counter on his right. The older woman laid a clipboard, with a paper printed with a bunch of small boxes, in front of the ginger. Hinata picked up the pen on the counter and signed his name, and the current time. Just as he finished writing, he felt tiny hands tug at the edge of his shirt. “You ready, Natsu?” Hinata’s voice came out small and soft. The girl nodded her head profusely, causing tufts of orange hair to bounce and ruffle. “Then we’ll be leaving now.”

Hinata and Natsu walked along, side by side and Natsu’s small hand clutching her older brother’s. The two waited at the bus stop. Hinata listened to Natsu’s mindless chatter about the games she played while at daycare. But really, he wasn’t listening at all.

The pit of his stomach felt empty. Guilt slowly clouded his mind. He left his friends worrying because he had ran off in his panic. All of his things were back in his clubroom, so his friends had no way of contacting him. They were probably really worried, but Hinata had to get out of there. He sighed again.

“Nii-chan?” Natsu’s high pitched voice caused Hinata to look down at the small girl that tugged on his hand. “Are you okay? Where’s your bag?”

Hinata ruffled his sister’s hair and gave a small smile. “I’m alright Natsu. I accidentally forgot my things at school.”

The girl giggled into her tiny hand. “You’re so silly, Nii-chan.”

“Yeah. Silly.” Hinata smile faded for a quick second. Before Natsu could notice, he forced the corner of his lips up. “Let’s go visit mom today too.” Natsu cheered loudly.

“Can we get mommy a present?” She asked, gazing at Hinata with bright shining eye. Hinata gently reminded his sister that his things were at his school. Natsu pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. Just then, the bus that the Hinata siblings were waiting had pulled up next to the two.

Before Hinata could say anything to her, Natsu turned her head away and stomped her foot. A low ‘hmph’ came from the girl’s lips. “Tomorrow. I promise.” Hinata ruffled his sister’s hair. Natsu opened one eye, observing her brother for any telltale signs of lying. Once deciding that her older brother was telling the truth, the smaller ginger grinned. Hinata sighed once he saw her smiling happily.

The bus doors opened, allowing the two siblings to step onto the public vehicle. Hinata let Natsu step on first, before getting on the bus behind her. The doors closed and once the two gingers sat down, the bus pulled onto the streets. During the ride, Natsu bounced in her seat next to the window, talking about the new picture she drew for their mom. Hinata nodded along absentmindedly. His thoughts were elsewhere.

Hinata couldn't stop the guilt from bubbling in the pit of his stomach. His friends must be worried. But that wasn't the only thing. Hinata was mostly scared of what they thought about him now that they've seen the bruises and wounds. Slowly, the voices were coming back. They kept repeating the same words over and over again. ‘They think you're disgusting. They're gonna leave you.’ The words echoed loudly, and Hinata felt everything closing in around him.

The ginger haired high school tried to imagine Asahi speaking to him. Right now, that was the most comforting thing Hinata could think of. But he couldn't imagine the gentle ace’s voice whispering comforting things. Instead Asahi’s voice started reprimanding him, telling him how worthless he was. Then all at once, the many voices in Hinata’s head started sounding more and more like his teammates.

Hinata’s breath hitched. He tried ignoring the voices. ‘They’d never say things like that.’ He tried thinking, but somehow that thought made him sick. ‘What if they think it though? What if everything up until now has been a lie? Oh god. They’re really gonna leave me.’

“Nii-chan!” Natsu called directly into Hinata’s right ear. The latter practically jumped in his seat. “We’re here.” She pointed out the window. The bus had stopped in front of a huge hospital in Sendai.

Hinata shook his thoughts away for now. They'd probably come back again when he was alone. “Right.” Hinata whispered, standing from his seat. He held his hand out to Natsu, who took it and hopped down from the seat the two previously sat on. “Let’s go check on mom.” The teen said, leading Natsu carefully off the bus and into the hospital. Hinata made sure to keep him and Natsu out of the doctor's ways, as they made their way to the front reception desk. “Excuse me.” Hinata called to the lady that sat behind the counter. The woman turned toward him.

“Oh, Hinata-kun.” The receptionist smiled. Hinata instantly recognized the pity in the woman’s blue eyes. “Right, just sign your name like usual and you can go right up.” She said, nodding to the clipboard and pen on the counter.

Hinata slipped his hand from his sister, reaching up to sign his name down on the ‘visiting a patient’ list. Natsu, in turn, went to clutch on Hinata’s jacket. When he finished, the ginger thanked the receptionist and headed toward the elevators. The two siblings waited in anxious silence as the elevator made its way to the 5th floor.

As soon as the doors opened, Natsu skipped through the halls with Hinata following closely behind. The two stopped in front of a door with a sign beside it. The sign read, ‘room 513.’ Hinata bit his lip and turned toward Natsu. “Let’s be quiet, okay Natsu? We don't know if mom is awake.” The smaller girl nodded her head. Hinata reached up, turning the doorknob slowly and pushing it open.

Natsu peeked inside, honey colored eyes scanning the bed in the far corner of the room, by the window. The girl suddenly grinned widely and barreled into the room. Hinata called out for her, but he was ignored. He quickly followed his sister into the room, where Natsu was already climbing onto the bed next to a raven haired woman. “Mom!” Natsu hugged the woman tightly.

“Natsu.” Hinata scolded, lightly pulling his sister’s weight off of their mom’s fragile body.

The woman in the hospital bed smiled warmly. “Hi, Shouyou.” Her voice was soft, just above a whisper. Hinata leaned down, placing a kiss against her temple and replied with a ‘hi mom.’ He sat down in a not-so-comfortable chair that was placed beside his mom’s bed.

The sibling’s mother was quickly pulled into a long conversation with Natsu about the young child's school. Hinata took the time to glance over his mom’s body. The woman was small, shorter than Hinata himself. But the way her bones were visible under pale skin made her seem smaller. His eyes moved up to the woman’s raven colored hair. It used to be thick, full of life, but now it was thinner--and still thinning. Her hair was brittle and tangled against the white pillow below her head. The woman’s eyes--which were the same golden brown as the ginger haired children--were half lidded and dull. Those eyes were only ever bright now when Hinata and Natsu came to visit. Hinata looked at how his mom’s frail body was covered by thick white and blue hospital blankets. How she seemed so small now, when back then she was passionate and fire-y. She was a force to be reckoned with.

“Shouyou.” Hinata turned his eyes back up to his mother’s face. “How’s everything at home and with school?” The woman asked. Hinata had to lean forward slightly to actually hear her.

Hinata sat up straight again. He smiled, noticing how his mother’s shoulders relaxed and how she sunk more into the comfort of her bed. “Everything's great mom. I’m taking care of everything, so don't worry. Just focus on getting better.”

“Sorry for relying on you like this Shouyou.” The woman reached out, softly placing her hand against Hinata’s cheek. Hinata leaned into her touch. For just a minute, he felt like everything would be okay.

Hinata quietly told her, “Don't worry about it.”

\-----

Hinata slowly lifted Natsu’s sleeping body off of the hospital bed. He turned her over, so the girl’s head lie on his left shoulder and both of his arms behind her knees. It was past visiting hours now the nurses always let Hinata and Natsu stay past designated hours. Hinata was grateful. “Will you be okay on the way back, Shouyou?” The woman asked quietly, as not to wake her youngest child.

“Yeah,” Hinata nodded his head and adjusted his grip on his sister. “I’ll be okay. We’ll come again tomorrow mom.”

The woman was silent for a second. “You know you don't have to come visit everyday, Shouyou.” She smiled ever so slightly. “I'm okay here.”

But Hinata shook his head. “No. I like coming everyday. And so does Natsu.” He replied. “We’ll come tomorrow.” Hinata decided, leaving no room for his mother to argue. She laughed in return.

“I’ll be waiting then. I love you two. So much.”

“Love you too.”

\-----

Hinata was back home, locked in his room. Natsu was sleeping soundlessly on his bed, curled in a ball against the wall. The ginger was sitting at his desk, staring at his house phone. He silently debated on whether to call one of his teammates or not. Maybe he could just apologize tomorrow morning. It was late anyways, so they probably wouldn't answer in the first place. But then there was also the fact that his dad was sleeping in the room, just down the hall. If Hinata were to wake his dad, then there's no telling what the man would do. Hinata was already punished for being out past curfew.

The young teen was now sporting new black and purple bruises. The spots littered his pale skin. Carefully placed in places that wouldn't be seen by anyone but the two of them. But that didn't stop the man from splitting Hinata’s lip open in a single and final warning.

Hinata sighed, deciding against the call. Yet, the high schooler found himself reaching out for the phone. His nimble fingers gliding across the number pad. And soon, the phone was up to his ear and the ringing was loud.

“Hello?” A deep voice sounded through the phone.

Hinata held his breath. ‘Speak? Or not?’ The question repeated in his head.

“Hello? Anyone there?” The voice questioned again. Hinata didn't reply still. “Look, whoever you are. I can hear you breathing, so-”

“D-Daichi-san..?” Hinata whispered. The ginger heard the rustling of fabric on the other end.

Suddenly Daichi was speaking again. “Hinata!?” The ginger flinched, pulling the phone away from his ear. “Hinata! Are you okay?! Are you at home?”

“I-I'm..fine. I'm at home now.” Hinata replied, staring down at his desktop. “Sorry for running off like that.”

There was a sigh on the other side. “God, we were so worried. You left your phone in the club room. We didn't know how to get ahold of you.”

“Sorry.”

“Don't apologize Hinata.” Daichi said softly, carefully. “Just...please.” The older male’s voice cracked from speaking so quietly. “Let us help you.”

Hinata froze. “H-help…?”

“Yes.” Daichi answered. It wasn’t until then that Hinata realized he had spoken out loud. “But we can’t help if you don’t let us Hinata.”

“I,” Hinata wasn’t sure what to say. For an instant, he regretted making the call. “I don’t need help with anything…” Was what came from the first year’s lips. There was another sigh from Daichi. “I swear..Everything’s fine.”

“Hinata.” Daichi responded. His tone was soft, sad almost. Hinata didn’t really know what to think. Before now, he was so scared of his friend’s thoughts and that he didn’t want to burden them, Hinata decided to keep his troubles to himself. Now Daichi had just told him that him and the rest of the team want to help. Had he made the wrong choice? “Hinata, please..” The captain pleaded. Hinata was debating with himself again.

The ginger opened his mouth to give an answer, but there was a sudden pounding on his door. “SHOUYOU!” Hinata flinched at the sound of his father loud and booming voice. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!? You have school in the morning! Don’t think that you’ll get to skip!” The man’s words were slurred and he sounded groggy even though his voice was muffled by the wooden door for Hinata’s room.

“S-sorry!” Hinata called back to his father. “I..I was just finishing up some homework.”

“Well go the fuck to sleep!” Was the reply from the other side of the door. There was stomping that faded down the hall. Then the loud slam of the door. Hinata flinched again at the sound. He looked toward Natsu on his bed, and the small girl only stirred.

Hinata turned his attention back to the phone against his ear. “S-sorry Daichi-san. I have to hang up now..” Daichi didn’t get a chance to speak. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Then the line went dead.


	3. Suspicions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
>  Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment  
>  (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)  
>  !TRIGGER WARNINGS!

Daichi had suspicions.

The third year had reasons to believe that Hinata was being abused by his own dad. But he didn't have enough evidence to make assumptions. Just the way that Hinata had sounded the night before, after getting in trouble by his dad for staying up late. Hinata sounded, frightened? Terrified, even. There was also the fact that Hinata denied help from the team. Not once, but twice. The first was when the small ginger ran out of the gym unexpectedly. The second was during that phone call, when Daichi had asked Hinata to let everyone help, and the ginger had replied with a ‘everything's fine.’ It all worried Daichi.

But went sent the red flag was how Daichi heard the deep, bellowing male voice on the other line. The man’s words sound slurred. Daichi could guess that he man might've just been tired, but that didn't sit right for some reason. The next guess was that the man was drunk. Maybe that would explain the bruises and cuts on Hinata's skin.

Still, Daichi didn't have enough evidence.

Still, Daichi has to watch Hinata suffer by himself.

\-----

Currently, the high school volleyball team were practicing before class started. The gym was eerily silent, excluding the sound of the volleyballs hitting the wood floors. When Hinata had walked into the club room that morning, everyone had asked if Hinata was okay. But at the same time, no one asked if Hinata got his wounds treated or why he ran off. Somehow they understood why.

Daichi’s brown eyes quietly observed Hinata from the other side of the gym. The small middle blocker was slowly practicing the new and improved quick spike with Kageyama. And for once, the two weren’t arguing. Kageyama was explaining something to Hinata, and Daichi focused on the cut on Hinata’s bottom lip. Another mysterious wound.

Daichi couldn't help but to wonder how he got it. No one asked, and he didn't want to be the first. His mind wandered back toward his accusation from the previous night. ‘Could it really be abuse? Why would Hinata hide it from us?’ Daichi thought, mindlessly receiving the green, white, and red volleyball that Asahi had served from the other side of the net.

There was the faint sound of a whistle being blown for a short water break. Daichi moved off the court, taking a towel that Kiyoko had offered him. He nodded in thanks and wiped his face clean from the sticky sweat. “Daichi?” The brunette haired captain turned, looking down toward the slightly shorter vice captain.

“What’s up, Suga?” Daichi let the towel fall over his shoulders. He opened a water bottle to take a drink. Daichi looked back at his teammate.

Sugawara was frowning. There was something that was bothering the silver haired male. He opened his mouth to speak, “You seem...distracted.” Sugawara spoke carefully, brown eyes glancing to the left, where Hinata stood in the corner of the gym. It was the ginger’s safe haven that no one wanted to take from him. “Are you okay?”

Daichi hummed, glancing toward Hinata as well. “Honestly?” The wing spiked shook his head. “No, I’m not.”

“What’s wrong?” Sugawara asked in a whispered voice. “Is it Hinata?” Daichi nodded his head.

“I can't tell you here though.” Daichi sighed. “We’ll talk more during lunch.” He added, setting his things down to return to practice. Sugawara nodded back, following the captain back onto the court.

Throughout the rest of practice, Daichi and Sugawara would exchange worried glances when Hinata would quietly apologize for a missed spike. The two were scared that Kageyama would snap at the small middle blocker, but to their surprise, the first year setter stayed calm and collected. Kageyama would correct Hinata’s form and the duo would try again. Just then, Daichi wondered if Kageyama knew anything. Maybe, maybe not. The captain decided to speak with the first year after morning practice.

And Daichi didn't have to wait long.

Ukai dismissed the team, and Daichi approached the team’s official setter. “Kageyama.” He called. The raven haired teen turned over his shoulder. Hinata stopped too. The ginger glance between Daichi and Kageyama, before running off to the club room. The two remaining high school students watched the ginger go. Daichi turned back to Kageyama. “I wanted to ask if you knew anything…” he spoke slowly, unsurely. “About Hinata.”

Kageyama’s face scrunched up in clear frustration. His eyebrows furrowed and nose crinkled. “No. He won't tell me anything.” He said just as quietly as Daichi did. “He won't let me help. I've tried everything, but he won't…”

Daichi sighed, placing his bigger hand firmly on the setter’s shoulder. “We’ll figure out a way to help him. Don't worry.” He reassured. Kageyama looked at Daichi. And for the first time since Daichi met Kageyama, the latter looked helpless. Kageyama looked like his actual age, a first year. A kid. The look made Daichi determined. Now he was more determined to help Hinata, because the team was suffering too.

Later on, Sugawara and Daichi met up for lunch. Asahi came too. The three sat down in the far corner of Daichi’s nearly empty classroom. They spoke in hushed whispers, not willing to let anyone outside of their circle know about their suffering teammate. “What did you want to talk about, Daichi?” Sugawara asked warily. Asahi waited with tense shoulders and lips pressed into a thin line.

Daichi was silent for a minute, in order to gather his thoughts. He didn't was to alarm his friends with mere theories and accusations. He had to speak carefully. “I don't want to make an accusations..” Daichi started off with. Sugawara and Asahi decided to stay silent, waiting for Daichi to finish. “But I think that..” the captain’s voice lowered another octave. He stared down at his fidgeting hands. “Hinata might be getting abused...by his dad.”

Silence rested between the three. But it was Asahi that broke the silence. His voice was deep, just like when he helped Hinata with a panic attack. “What makes you say that?” Asahi questioned solemnly. His brown eyes half lidded and plagued with a serious undertone.

Daichi massaged his temples. “I know that I could get in trouble...by accusing his dad of abuse.” He spoke softly, making sure that only his two friends could hear him. “That's why I haven't said anything to anyone besides you two.” The captain took a short breath. “Last night, Hinata called me. I asked him if he was okay, and told him that if he needed help from us all he had to do was ask. Before Hinata could answer though, his dad started screaming for him to go to sleep. His dad's voice sounded slurred.” Daichi stayed silent.

“Daichi..” Sugawara frowned and lightly patted the side of his companion’s shoulder. “That-”

“I know.” Daichi said, shutting his eyes tightly. “I know that that doesn't mean anything. But thinking that his voice was slurred from exhaustion...it didn't feel right. It still doesn't. I feel like there's something going on, but I don't know what it is.”

Asahi watched as Daichi looked so lost. Usually the captain was always so sure of himself, of everything. That's the reason why the second and first years confided in Daichi so much. But now Daichi was so obviously stressed out. “We’ll watch more carefully.” Asahi spoke. Sugawara and Daichi turned toward their gentle hearted ace. “We’ll help him inside and outside of practice. Whatever he needs.”

Daichi released a breathless chuckle. “You actually sound like our ace.” Asahi jutted his bottom lip out a bit and mockingly glared at the captain. Sugawara couldn't help but to laugh at the light hearted exchange between his two closest friends.

\-----

Hinata had left practice early again, stating the very vague excuse that he had errands to run. With that, the small ginger had quickly escaped his peer’s watchful eyes. During that short second of Hinata’s retreating figure, the three third years had exchanged a worried glance. But none of them made any moves to stop their teammate. Afterall, they still had practice to continue with.

During one of the team’s short water breaks, Kiyoko walked up to Takeda. “Takeda-sensei.” She politely called the club advisor’s name. The dark haired teacher looked toward the third year manager.

He smiled at her. “Is there something you need, Shimizu-san?” Takeda asked the student.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could leave early as well.” Kiyoko spoke in her natural soft tone. Before Takeda could question why, Kiyoko continued. “My mom had a small accident, and had to go to the emergency room.” She explained.

Takeda blinked, then spoke quickly. “Of course! You would want to make sure that she’s okay!” He rushed out, with wide and flustered eyes. The young teacher dismissed the team’s manager, allowing her to leave practice an hour early. Kiyoko bowed her head, and exited the gym.

Kiyoko didn’t bother in changing her clothes either. She simply gathering her belongings from the girl’s locker room and rushed to the bus stop. It didn’t take long for the bus to arrive either. Luck seemed to be on Kiyoko’s side. As she waited upon the moving vehicle, her dark grey eyes worriedly glanced in between the scenery outside and the phone clutched in her hands. Though Kiyoko was beyond worried for her mother’s accident, her expression stayed calm.

Soon, the bus had stopped and Kiyoko got off. The third year girl rushed into the hospital, where she was quickly led to her mother’s waiting room. “Mom.” She called silently, opening the door to room 509, on the fifth floor of the hospital. There in a small bed, next to the window was Kiyoko’s mom, sleeping soundly. In the chair beside her was her dad.

“Kiyoko.” Kiyoko’s father stood up, greeting his only child.

“Is mom okay?” She asked, glancing over to her mom’s sleeping figure. “What happened?”

“It was just a small accident, for the most part.” The older man replied. “You mother accidentally cut herself while making dinner. It was a deep cut, enough that she had to get stitches. She lost quite a bit of blood. But once your mother wakes up, she’ll be able to leave.”

Kiyoko sighed in relief. Her mother would be okay. “Thank goodness.” Kiyoko and her father waited until the woman woke up, which didn’t take long. Luck really was on Kiyoko’s side today. The doctor had come back into the room after her mom had awaken, meaning to discuss with her and her husband. Kiyoko had dismissed herself, telling both of her parents that she’d wait in the lobby. And that’s what she did. Kiyoko waited patiently by the door, keeping an eye out for her parents in the small crowd that gathered in the hospital lobby.

A flash of orange caught Kiyoko’s eye. Drawn in by the bright, stand-out color, Kiyoko automatically turned towards the tuft of ginger hair--which happened to be coming right towards her. Kiyoko froze for a mere second. “Hinata?” The words were quietly uttered. The said boy jumped, his head snapped up so fast that Kiyoko wondered if it hurt. She noticed the small child in her underclassman’s arms, whom had the same brightly colored hair as the aforementioned boy.

“Sh-Shimizu-san!!” Hinata was clearly taken by surprise. His--now--dull golden eyes widen in bewilderment, as he clutched the small, sleeping, ginger haired girl closer to his chest. The first year continued to splutter, struggling to find the right words to say. “What’re you doing here?” He finally managed to spit out.

“My mom accidentally cut herself, and had to go to the ER.” Kiyoko explained briefly. She silently debated whether or not to ask why Hinata was at the hospital. But the question came out anyways, for the sake of conversation, that is. “What about you?”

  
Hinata seemed to flounder for a minute or two; seemingly trying to come up with an excuse to tell Kiyoko. The third year manager waited patiently. “I-I…” Hinata furrowed his eyebrows, looking everywhere but at the pretty manager in front of him. He went silent. And Kiyoko continued to wait. “Y-you...you can’t tell the others.” The ginger winced at the sound of his own voice. The request--more like demand--made Kiyoko confused, and even more worried.

  
“Of course.” She had promised. But Kiyoko had also promised herself something. ‘I’ll only tell the others if it’s for your own well-being.’

“M..” Hinata started, staring at the tiled floors below him. He paused unsurely. Then Hinata took a deep breath to calm himself. “M-my mom’s in the hospital here. She...she’s really sick..a-and..” Kiyoko didn’t say anything. Instead she waited for Hinata to recollect his thoughts. “And...I’m really not sure...if she’ll..” Hinata trailed off, but Kiyoko understood.

“You’re not sure if she’ll make it.” Kiyoko whispered, quietly watching at the ginger haired by flinched. It probably sounded weird, now that it was said out loud. Even moreso, since someone else had said it. Slowly, Hinata nodded his head. He was careful not to stir the sleeping child in his arms. Kiyoko frowned, wondering if this was why Hinata started acting the way he did. But the look in his eyes--she noticed--held something else other than emotional pain. Kiyoko couldn’t put her finger on it. She took in how uncomfortable Hinata looked, shifting his weight from one foot to another. Kiyoko opted to change the subject instead. “She’s your sister right? What’s her name?” The older girl motioned to the tiny ginger that had her nose buried in the crook of Hinata’s neck.

Kiyoko felt a little relieved at the small, genuine smile that formed across Hinata’s lips. “Yeah. Her name’s Natsu.” He adjusted his hold on the tiny girl, who wrapped her arms tighter around her brother’s neck. Kiyoko nearly cooed at the sight.

“She’s cute. Looks just like you.” Kiyoko softly laughed, while Hinata’s face burned a bright red. It was the most emotion she’s seen from the ginger haired boy in what felt like a long time. She was really glad. Hinata stuttered out a quiet thanks.

“Kiyoko?” Hinata visibly jumped again. The said girl looked away from her junior, and spotted her parents coming toward her and the ginger. Kiyoko’s mom was in a wheelchair, while her dad pushed the woman. “This a friend of yours?” Her mother smiled at Hinata, who tried to smile back. Though, Kiyoko noticed how hard it was for him.

“Yes. This is Hinata. He’s on the volleyball team.” Kiyoko motioned to her junior.

Hinata introduced himself, bowing his head since Natsu was in his arms. “Hinata Shouyou. I’m a first year and apart of the volleyball team that Shimizu-san manages. This is my sister, Natsu.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Hinata-kun.” Kiyoko’s mother smiled widely, though fatigued from that day’s earlier events. Hinata nodded his head with the smallest of smiles.

“Are you here visiting someone, Hinata-kun?” Her father asked.

“Dad.” Kiyoko warned with a small frown.

The man smiled in apology. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

Hinata shook his head. “It’s okay.”

“Hinata-kun, would you like a ride home? It’s getting late after all.” Kiyoko’s mother offered.

Kiyoko’s frown deeped, seeing the momentary panic that flashed through Hinata’s eyes. She wondered why. Instantly, Hinata politely rejected. But seeing as how it was her mother, Kiyoko knew that she would insist. And insist she did, saying that it was dangerous for Hinata to go home late, much less with his younger sister. Reluctantly, Hinata had agreed. “Sorry for my mother’s persistence, Hinata.” Kiyoko apologized as the four made their way to Kiyoko’s father’s car.

“I-it’s fine.” Hinata tried to smile, but it was half-hearted. The ginger looked tired. He looked worried, but Kiyoko wasn’t sure if she should ask. Especially since her parents were around. She didn’t want to disrespect Hinata’s privacy either. But she was worried for him, just like the rest of the team.

\-----

The ride to Hinata’s house was silent. Natsu was sleeping still, her head lying upon her older brother’s lap. Kiyoko’s dad drove, focused on the road ahead and the directions that Hinata gave him every now and then. Kiyoko’s mom had soundlessly fallen asleep, tired from being in the hospital for more than a few hours. Kiyoko and Hinata didn’t bother in making any conversation either. Kiyoko was still wondering why her junior seemed so uneasy about her family dropping him--and Natsu--off at home. She glanced at the first year. Hinata was to her right, seemingly lost in thought. But by the looks of it, those thoughts worried Hinata because he eyes were narrowed and eyebrows were furrowed. Even the ways he nervously chewed on his bottom lip. Kiyoko was worried too.

“This is it.” Hinata announced into the silent car. Kiyoko’s dad pulled to a stop. “Thank you for the ride home.” The ginger said quietly, opening the car’s back door. He climbed out, before lifting Natsu out and resting her on his hip. “Thank you again, and I hope Shimizu-san feels better soon.” Hinata waited, thinking that Kiyoko’s dad would drive off.

“Well, you go inside first Hinata-kun.” Kiyoko’s dad insisted. “I want to make sure to fully see you home, or my wife will scold me for it later.” He laughed lightly.

Kiyoko noticed how Hinata bit his lip again. The nervous panic resurfaced in his gold eyes. Slowly, the first year nodded his head. He bowed ever so slightly, and bid his farewells. Hinata turned and walked up to his house, pulling out his key with one hand while the other supported his sleeping little sister. The door opened and Kiyoko’s dad began to pull away.

As he did, Kiyoko kept her eyes trained on the ginger. A taller male stepped into the doorway. He, too, had orange hair. And briefly Kiyoko understood where Hinata got his unnaturally bright colored hair. But Kiyoko didn’t dwell on that for long. As her car slowly pulled further away, she was barely able to notice the glass beer bottle in the taller, ginger male’s right hand. Then, the Hinata residence disappeared from her view.

Now, Kiyoko had her suspicions too.


	4. When The Skies Turned Grey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
>  Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment  
>  (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)  
>  !TRIGGER WARNINGS!

“Who the hell was that?” The acidic breath that hit Hinata’s cheeks smelled vile. Hinata restrained himself from gagging, clutching Natsu closer into his chest. The teen boy took a second too long to answer the man that towered above him. And Hinata subconsciously flinched away from the large hand that roughly gripped at his upper arm. “Answer me, damn it!”

“It was a friend!” Hinata squeaked out. The answer didn’t please Hinata’s father, however. The small ginger was slammed into the now closed front door. Hinata groaned, keeping his hold on Natsu tight. The girl whimpered, slowly peeking through tired eyelids. Hinata moved ever so slightly in order to shield his precious younger sister. “H-her parents offered me a ride home after visiting m-mom.” Hinata was hesitant to even mention his mother at this point. Usually, whenever he mentioned his sickly mother, Hinata’s dad would go on a rampage.

“You fucking idiot.” The man sneered, leaning closer to Hinata’s face. His breath was putrid, plagued with the strong smell of alcohol and cigarettes. “You’re not trying to get me arrested, are you?” His voice deepened an octave, and the grip he held on Hinata’s forearm had tightened.

Hinata whimpered. “N-no.” Natsu cried silently into the crook of her brother’s neck, too scared to even say anything. “I-I...Th-they insisted..I couldn’t...refuse.” Hinata stumbled through the words. His dad’s hand raised, and Hinata turned his body to shield Natsu away from the hit. Hinata’s smaller frame jerked when the man’s hand came in contact with his temple. Hinata grunted, and Natsu cried louder.

The man grabbed Hinata’s ginger hair--that was similar to his own--and threw his eldest child to the floor. “And what the fuck did I say about visiting that woman!?” A kick landed at Hinata’s lower back. Hinata withheld his cries, and clutched Natsu tighter. “The bitch is going to fucking die anyways!”

Hinata felt angered by that, but before he could argue, the kicks came faster. Usually Hinata’s dad was careful with where he hit Hinata, but this time was different. The kicks came at random--at Hinata’s face, his stomach, arms, legs, back. They came from everywhere. Hinata’s dad was pissed. His dad was more drunk than he usually was.

“Fucking useless.” Insults were muttered and Hinata cried, throwing his body over Natsu. Natsu screamed louder. “Better shut that fucking kid up, or I will.” The man threatened, stomping on top of Hinata’s hand. With the final blow, the adult man staggered into the kitchen.

“Nii-chan.” Natsu crawled out from the protection of her brother’s arm, kneeling by his side. She gently shook her brother’s shoulder, only receiving a low groan. His eyelids fluttered, halfway between consciousness.

“-atsu.” The voice that left Hinata’s lips were slurred, quiet. “-re ‘ou ‘kay?” He reached up, placing his hand on the crying child’s cheek. She nodded and leaned into her older brother’s touch. “Sh.” Hinata hummed as Natsu placed her forehead against his own.

“Nii-chan, you’re hurt.” She cried. Hinata tried to smile and focus on Natsu’s tear stained face.

“Go ‘pstairs. Lock th’ do’r.” Hinata instructed. Natsu questioned if he would be okay, and Hinata hummed again. “Qu’et.” He stated, motioning for his sister to go. Natsu silenced her sobs, and scurried up the steps. Hinata faintly heard a door upstairs open and close.

Hinata was relieved at that.

But he groaned in pain once more. The bruises were forming quickly, and Hinata was sure that his dad had broken his hand. His head throbbed and he saw black spots littering his vision. Hinata’s gold eyes glossed over with unshed tears, as the world went blurry.

\-----

_ Hinata was upstairs in his room, coloring with his little sister. Natsu was grinning widely at the pink streaks that crossed over her white paper. Hinata felt pride swell at the look on her innocent face. “What’re you drawing, Natsu?” He asked, stopping his horrible attempts at drawing a volleyball. _

_ “I’m drawing a picture of me, you, and mom.” Natsu glanced up at her brother, before quickly covering the paper with her small arms. “Don’t look! It’s not done yet!” She screeched, and Hinata laughed. _

_ “Sorry. Sorry.” Hinata turned back to his drawing. This time, he really concentrated on the weird design that volleyball’s had. _

_ He turned to look at Natsu when she giggled. “You suck at drawing, nii-chan.” Hinata blushed at the comment. _

_ “I-I know that!” He claimed, but his smile returned quickly. “Did you finish with your picture?” _

_ Natsu hummed happily as she nodded her head. Her short ginger pigtails bounced along with the motion. “Look!” She showed a very colorful picture of pinks and blues and greens, and orange. On the page were three stick figures, two were clearly girls because of the blue and pink dresses they wore. The other was a male in a bright green volleyball uniform. Hinata grinned at the sight. _

_ “I love it! You get better at drawing everyday Natsu!” Hinata exclaimed. Natsu’s grin widened, before she got up from sitting on the floor. She made her way over to Hinata’s desk and took the tape. The small girl ripped off a piece that was a bit too long, and messily taped her drawing to Hinata’s wall, just besides his desk. That drawing joined the many others that Natsu had drawn for her brother. _

_ “Perfect!” Natsu laughed at her collage. Hinata nodded his head in agreement. _

_ He was happy then. _

_ Suddenly a loud crash vibrated through the house. It was the sound of metal and glass crashing from the kitchen downstairs. The two siblings jerked. Hinata was up in less than a second, rushing to where the crash sounded from. He assumed that Natsu was right behind him. _

_ Hinata froze. _

_ His mom was on the floor, surrounded by shattered glass, pots, and food. Red liquid seeped from the back of her head, as her body spasmed. Her face was pale and her mouth was parted open his a silent cry. “Natsu stay back!” Hinata yelled once he got control of his body again. He shot forward, lightly taking his mom’s arms, as turning her on her side. His gold eyes watched the clock that hung on the wall in the hallway. _

_ As the seconds ticked away, Hinata felt panic swell inside the pit of his stomach. His throat was dry. _

_ It passed the  four minute mark, rapidly counting toward five. His mom’s seizure wasn’t stopping.  Hinata carefully set his mother’s frame down, and ran to the phone. Natsu was in the hallway, crying. “Nii-chan! Nii-chan! What’s wrong with mommy! Why can’t I see her!? Nii-chan!” Natsu’s scream were loud, but at the same time, Hinata could barely hear her over the sound of his beating heart. _

_ He faintly heard the phone ring, and a woman speaking to him. “A-ambulance! M-my mom’s having a seizure. It’s b-been over five minutes.” Hinata spoke in a rush. He didn’t hear what the woman on the other side said next, but he kept his eyes trained on his mom’s body. The jerks slowed, and he body was deathly still. “Sh-she stopped! Hinata looked at the clock. S-seven minutes.” _

_ “Okay, the ambulances are on the way now.” The woman said calmly. “I need you to stay on the phone with me until they get there.” Hinata replied with a quiet ‘okay.’ “What’s your name?” _

_ “Hinata Shouyou.” _

_ “Who’s home with you?” _

_ “My little sister, Natsu.” _

_ “How old are you?” _

_ “Sixteen.” _

_ “And your sister?” _

_ “Five.” _

_ “Okay, the ambulance should be there soon. I need you to open the door, and make sure the could see you.” The woman instructed. Hinata passed the phone to Natsu, who began to question the woman on the other end, instead of himself. Hinata glanced at his mom, before rushing to the front door. He swung it open, and he heard the ambulances getting closer. Until they stopped in front of Hinata’s home. _

_ The next few hours were a blur to Hinata. _

_ There was an ambulance that had loaded his unconscious mother into the back and drove off. There was police that escorted Hinata and Natsu to the hospital. There were questions from people that Hinata couldn’t remember. And there was a lot of waiting. _

_ “Shouyou!” Hinata jumped at the sound of a male voice calling from within a close proximity. Hinata blinked, focusing on the person that had their face close to his own. There, in front of him, was Hinata’s dad. The man had bright ginger hair and shining blue eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth opened. “Shouyou, what happened?” _

_ “Dad..?” _

_ “Shouyou, tell me what happened. Is your mother okay?” The man asked. Hinata shrugged. When was the last time he’s seen his dad? Not since the divorce almost right after Natsu was born, five years ago. The man had up and disappeared, without telling him or his mom. They had been devastated when he said that he wanted to divorce. _

\-----

_ A tumor. _

_ She had a brain tumor. _

_ Hinata’s world seemed to stop, when the doctor had explained everything to him and his dad. Natsu was too young, so one of the nurses watched her whilst Hinata spoke with the doctor. Honestly, Hinata didn’t even know what half of the things the doctor said were. All of the medical terms had flown right over his head. But he did understand how serious a brain tumor was. Hinata was told that the doctor was start treatments right away, but before any more information could be said, one of the nurses had asked Hinata to leave. Apparently, Hinata was not allowed to hear what was going to be said next. And with that, the ginger was brought back to his wailing younger sister. Hinata took the girl into his arms, humming into her ear, until eventually she fell asleep. _

\-----

_ A few days had passed since the Hinata family discovered the tumor within their mother’s/wife’s head. _

_ With nowhere else to go, Hinata and Natsu were forced to live with their dad. His house was closer to both Natsu’s daycare and Karasuno, so the change was easy to adjust to. At first, Hinata’s dad seemed descent. He didn’t seem as troubled as he did when he first left Hinata, Natsu, and his wife. Hinata was glad about that. _

_ But when Hinata had come home from school, he opened the door to his new living quarters. Only, the air felt weird. It was easy to catch for someone that lived mostly upon instinct, like Hinata. The ginger flinched, and wanted to jump back. He wanted to leave, to flee. To get out before something really bad happened. _

_ What had stopped him, was the shrill crying of his younger sister. Before he could even register what was happening, Hinata had bolted into the house and into the direction in which he had heard Natsu’s crying. The teen stopped in the living room. Standing across the room was Hinata’s dad, towering over a screeching Natsu. Next to Natsu, was a knocked over light pole and broken glass. Hinata was quick to see the small spots of blood on his sister’s hands and knees. _

_ He rushed over to the smaller ginger girl. “Natsu.” He cradled her in her arms. “Where does it hurt?” But the words wouldn’t come out. Instead the young child cried into Hinata’s chest. _

_ “What the fuck did I say about playing ball in the house!?” Hinata’s dad growled lowly. Natsu didn’t answer him, and cried louder. “Answer me you little tramp!” The man raised his hand to hit Natsu, but since she was held tightly in Hinata’s arms, the palm came in contact with the right side of Hinata’s cheek instead. _

_ “It was an accident!” Hinata screamed back, after getting over the initial shock of being hit. “Natsu didn’t mean to do it! And you don’t have to hit her!” The teen boy stood, glaring at the figure in front of him. His gold eyes observed his dad’s appearance. Everything about the man seemed out of place. His cloths and hair were disheveled. But Hinata noticed the familiar brown, glass bottle that was loosely gripped in between the man’s thick fingers. _

_ The man snarled, reaching out and pushing Hinata back onto the floor. “Don’t fucking talk back to me.” His blue eyes were narrowed dangerously. Hinata recognized the wild look in his father’s eyes. Hinata was familiar with it, especially in volleyball, but it was never to this extent. The ginger haired teen, then, knew that something bad was coming. _

_ “Natsu, go to the room and lock to door!” Hinata yelled, pushing the girl toward the stairs. The girl skittered away. Hinata’s dad tried to go after her, but Hinata wouldn’t let the man. So the first year male latched onto the burly man’s waist to hold him back. It wasn’t much time, but it was enough and Hinata heard the faint sound of a door being slammed shut and hopefully locked. _

_ Relief flooded through Hinata’s chest. That was until a hard hit crashed into his right temple. His dad had elbowed him in the head. Hard. Hinata collapsed to the floor, rolling to his side in attempts to get up. The ginger grunted when a boot was kicked into his stomach. “If you want to get punished in place of that little brat,” Another kick. “Then be my guest.” The man grunted with every kick that he brought down into Hinata’s chest and stomach. There was a cracking sound that echoed in Hinata’s ears, and he was sure that he broke some ribs. _

_ “Stop!” Hinata couldn’t help but to plead pathetically. But the man never complied. Instead the kicks came harder. The man finally stopped when Hinata coughed up blood. _

_ He clicked his tongue in disgust. “Clean this fucking shit up.” He ordered the injured boy, motioning to the broken lamp and the blood that Hinata was currently spitting out. “I better not see any stains.” With that, he sauntered into the kitchen. _

_ Hinata trembled, moving slowly to clean everything up. _

\-----

_ That night, Hinata didn’t sleep. _

_ Natsu couldn’t sleep either, but she was quickly soothed by Hinata saying, “I’ll stay up and protect you.” That night, was the first night that Natsu started sleeping with her older brother. _

_ Hinata stayed locked in his room, sitting silently at his desk. Natsu took up his bed, tucked underneath the warmth of the thick blankets. The ginger haired boy sighed, looking at the small mirror that sat in the middle of his practically empty desktop. The boy’s temple was bruised a dark purple and his cheek burned a bright red. Hinata was too scared to see the bruises that littered his chest and stomach. He knew they were bad though, really bad. Just breathing hurt. _

_ Hinata was scared. Never in his life, would he have thought that his dad would’ve laid hands on him. Even worse, attempt to lay hands on Natsu. She was a little girl! The thought of his dad trying to hurt Natsu, struck a thought within Hinata’s head. ‘Has dad ever hurt mom?’ The thought made him shiver. What if he did? Hinata would’ve been to young to understand if his monstrosity of a dad had ever harmed his mother before their divorce. _

_ Hinata felt sick. _

_ He couldn’t stop the putrid liquid from rising in his throat. Hinata bent over the small trash can that was besides his desk. And suddenly, Hinata lost all contents of his lunch from that day. Once he was finished throwing up his lunch and spots of red blood, Hinata rested his head against the cool wooden desk. Though he felt physically drained, Hinata just couldn’t bring himself to completely lose consciousness. _

\-----

Hinata was jerked awake by another hard kick. He grunted, as the pain from the day before had returned. His golden brown eyes stared up at the man towering over him. “Get the fuck up. You’re not getting a day off from school. Hide those damn bruises, and don’t fuck this up.” The man grunted. He sounded more sombre than the previous day, much to Hinata’s relief. It was only late evening and nights that Hinata had to worry about. That’s when he dad got drunk, or did drugs.

Hinata struggled to even sit up. He heard his dad click his tongue, and he heard the heavy footsteps fade away. The young ginger sighed, and worked slowly to get up. It was still dark outside, early in the morning. Fortunately without crashing  into the floor again, Hinata successfully made his way up the stairs and into the bathroom. The ginger cringed as the bright white lights above him flicker on. He did everything he could to avoid looking at himself in the mirror. Hinata gasped at the sight of his hand, though. His left hand was a dark purple, and swollen beyond anything recognizable. The bruises were so obviously in the shape of a large boot. Momentary panic rushed through Hinata’s chest. How was he going to hide this from his teammates. The ginger had to force his attention away from that. He’d figure that out later.

Slowly--and with one hand--Hinata stripped himself from yesterday’s clothing. The rough fabric scrubbed against his new bruises and cuts. Once he was completely without clothes, he took a warm, wet towel and wiped his body of any dried blood.  Ever so carefully, Hinata did the same for his hand. Tears pooled in the corners of honey brown eyes, crinkling in pain and disgust. After cleaning the cuts, Hinata began bandaging himself. It was always a hard process because he could never wrap his torso thoroughly by himself. Now it was even harder due to the fact that he had one hand. The wraps became sloppy, but at this point, Hinata didn’t even care.

After securing the bandages, Hinata wrapped the softest towel that he could find around his body. He took his discarded clothes and made his way to his room. “Natsu.” Hinata croaked softly. He called his sister’s name again and again, until he heard noise from the other side. There was a small clicking noise and Hinata’s bedroom door was pulled open. The small ginger haired girl appeared, poking her head out.

Natsu gasped, “Nii-chan!”

“Shh.” Hinata hushed the girl and slid into the safety of his room. Natsu shut the door behind them and locked it once again. She couldn’t help the small tears that trickled down her cheeks. Hinata turned, and gave his sister the most reassuring smile that he could. “I’m fine Natsu.” He said, wiping the dampened spot underneath her eyes. “As long as you’re not hurt, I’m fine.” Hinata placed a tender kiss to the crown of Natsu’s head, just like the their mother would do to them when they were younger. Natsu relished in that moment, closing her eyes and leaning into her brother’s chest. “Alright, let me get ready. Then we’ll go to your room.”  Natsu nodded her head and offered a broken grin. Hinata returned the gesture.

Hinata moved around his room at an achingly slow pace. First he pulled out a pair of black sweats that he’d be able to practice in. He pulled his Karasuno Volleyball Club shirt of its hanger in his closet, and slipped in on. Hinata, next, gathered his school uniform and his school bag. After a final check that he had everything, Natsu slipped her hand into his. Together, they went out of the room and into the room that was directly across from Hinata’s. The door opened and Natsu went inside. The door shut and Hinata smiled at the quick movement he heard muffled from the other side of the door. It took Natsu only a few minutes to get ready and get her own things. Automatically, her hand slid into her brother’s again.

Physical contact from Hinata was the only way to soothe her nowadays.

The two siblings went down the stairs, and made their way to the front door. Natsu pulled her shoes on, as did Hinata. Just as the two were about to leave, there was a sound behind them. Hinata turned, instinctively pulling Natsu behind him. The sibling’s dad stopped in the hallway, staring--more like glaring--at his two offsprings. “The fuck you two staring at?” He snarled, and moved into the kitchen. Hinata assumed that his father was getting more beer.

The older ginger shook head, not wanting to think about what awaited them later on that day. Hinata was quick to flee, tugging his little sister behind him. In utter silence, Hinata walked Natsu to her daycare center. He bid her farewell, and she ran off to her friends. Hinata trekked in the direction of Karasuno. The thoughts from earlier resurfaced. Hinata had no idea how he was going to hide these new, more severe injuries. His dad wasn’t exactly discreet this time.

As soon as Hinata reached Karasuno--the campus was still empty--the ginger made his way to the bathroom. He stopped in front of the mirror, hesitating to look up. The ginger haired teen took a deep breath and held it. Hinata turned his chin up, eyes landing on the reflection in the mirror.

Then and there, Hinata almost threw up.

The sight in front of him was anything, but pleasing. Hinata’s hair was tangled, matted with a couple dark red spots. He assumed that it was from the blood that he had fallen asleep in. His face and arms were in a similar state. Hinata cursed. He ran his right hand under warm water, and raked his fingers through his hair. The red stains came out easier this way. When there were no more traces of dried blood, Hinata used the water to tame his hair into something more presentable. The ginger adjusted his clothing, making it look neater and so none of his recent injuries shown through. The next thing Hinata did was set his school bag atop the small sink. He reached into the yellow bag, pulling out a small stick of concealer. Hinata was alway reluctant to use the girly cosmetic, but at times like these--when his dad was far past drunk to carefully aim his hits upon Hinata’s body--the makeup came in handy. Hinata always made sure to restock this simple item and keep it on hand.

Hinata applied the concealer to the black and purple spots that littered his face. His thin, nimble fingers smudged the makeup into his skin. He desperately tried to make it so that the cakey aspect of cosmetics was not visible. Hinata didn’t know how he’d take it if people found out that he--reluctantly--wore makeup and started to bully him. Frankly, the first year didn’t want to find out. So Hinata continued to blend the pale color into his similarly colored skin. Once the ginger was satisfied with his work, Hinata packed up his things and exited the boys bathroom.

Hinata wasn’t paying attention to where he was going, and harshly bumped into someone’s chest. A grunt escaped from the first year’s lips, as he reached up to rub his nose. The person clicked their tongue, “Watch where you’re going, Shrimp.” Hinata tensed, slowly looking up to meet the honey brown eyes of the blonde first year.

“Sorry.” Hinata squeaked, stepping away so that he was a good foot and a half away from his teammate.

Tsukishima stared at the squirming ginger in front of him. It looked like the boy wanted to run, but he couldn’t under Tsukishima’s piercing eyes. The taller first year took this opportunity to scan over Hinata’s features. The ginger’s uniform, though barely noticeable, was out of order and wrinkled in odd places. Tsukishima looked to observe Hinata’s face. There was something off about him, but Tsukishima couldn’t exactly pinpoint what. Hinata fidgeted, moving to hide his left hand behind him. This didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde. “What’re you hiding your left hand for?” Something in Tsukishima’s chest said that he wasn’t going to like what was coming next.

“N-nothing.” Hinata flinched at the stutter that slipped. “It’s none of your business anyways.” He murmured, trying to rush around Tsukishima. And the latter let the ginger, before he grabbed Hinata’s left elbow and pulling the teen back. For a minute, Hinata struggled against him. But the jerky tugs didn’t stop the tall first year from taking Hinata’s left hand and raising it so that he could observe closely.

  
And Tsukishima was not stupid. Not by any means. So no matter what excuse Hinata tried to sputter, the blonde wouldn’t fall for it. The large bruise that predominantly took up the majority of Hinata’s left hand was obviously in the shape of a boot print. Hinata’s knuckles were swollen too. Tsukishima thought that the hand might be broken. “What the hell happened..?” Tsukishima refused to let Hinata escape this, so he firmly held the smaller first year in place. The blonde watched as panic flooded Hinata’s golden brown eyes, and as the ginger desperately tried to think of a logical excuse. “Don’t lie.” Tsukishima warned. “Who did this?”

Hinata furrowed his eyebrows. ‘Why does this jerk care? He’s always making fun of me anyway.’ “It was an accident.” He answered vaguely, looking down at the ground.

“Like hell it was.” Tsukishima scoffed. “There’s no way. Logically speaking, if someone were to accidentally step on your hand, it wouldn’t be hard enough to break it.” Hinata frowned, opening his mouth to argue. Tsukishima didn’t allow him to. Instead the blonde took Hinata toward the school building.

Hinata tried to pull away again. “H-hey. What about practice?”

“This is more important, idiot.” The blonde didn’t even turn back to look at Hinata. The ginger stayed quiet, sluggishly following behind his teammate. The two first years entered an empty infirmary. Hinata was silently relieved about that, and Tsukishima noticed how the tension in the ginger’s shoulders faded. “Sit.” He ordered, nudging Hinata toward the closest bed.

Hinata listened, not thinking that it was worth it to argue. “Why are you helping me?” Hinata asked as the taller middle blocker rummaged through the nurses drawers and cabinets for rubbing alcohol and bandages. Tsukishima paused, looking at the used-to-be-sunchild from the corner of his eyes.

“Because.” Tsukishima replied simply, with a shrug of his shoulders. “Now, tell me what happened.” The blonde demanded, sitting on a stool in front of Hinata. He took the ginger’s left hand, and began to clean the small cuts that littered the swollen hand.

Hinata was hesitant. Tsukishima lightly pinched Hinata’s forearm, snapping the latter back to reality. The ginger haired teen flinched at the look that Tsukishima was giving him. The blonde wouldn’t take any excuses, Hinata knew. But the ginger didn’t know what to say. “Y-you can’t tell anyone.” Hinata whispered so quietly that Tsukishima had to lean forward to hear him.

“Fine.” Tsukishima agreed. Hinata sighed, going on to explain what happened the previous night. Tsukishima knew that Hinata was leaving details out, but didn’t comment on it. That wasn’t important, yet. Hinata finished his tale, pulling away his now bandaged hand back onto his lap. Tsukishima was quiet, eerily quiet. It put Hinata on edge.

“Tsu-Tsukishima?” Hinata muttered, eyeing the blonde’s clenching and unclenching fists. Tsukishima bit his lip, drawing blood. “Hey, y-you’re freaking me out.”

Then Tsukishima took a deep breath, relaxing his previous thoughts of hatred. “Let me see your other injuries.”

That day, neither Hinata nor Tsukishima had attended morning practice. That time was taken for Tsukishima to clean and rebandage Hinata’s back and chest.

\-----

During lunch, Daichi was at his desk with Sugawara and Asahi.

“Find anything else out?” Sugawara whispered, bowing his head to stare at the desk he sat at. Daichi sighed, shaking his head and pressing his fingers to his temples.

“No, I haven’t seen Hinata since yesterday at practice.” Daichi replied. “Yesterday, I confronted Kageyama too. Apparently, Hinata hasn’t said anything to him. I know something’s wrong, but I can’t figure out what..”

“Don’t worry Daichi--” Sugawara was cut off by one of Daichi’s classmates.

“Sawamura, there’s a first year here to see you.”

The three third years turned toward the classroom door. Standing there, as stoic as ever, was the volleyball team’s tallest member, Tsukishima. Daichi stood up, but Tsukishima motioned for Asahi and Sugawara to come too. The three seniors walked out, and down the hall with Tsukishima leading them. The blonde led them into a hallway that was currently void of any students or faculty members. “Tsukishima? What’s going on?” Sugawara questioned, with worriedly narrowed brown eyes.

The three upperclassmen were surprised by the distraught expression that slowly creased Tsukishima’s eyes and lips. Patiently Daichi, Asahi, and Sugawara waited for their junior to speak. “It’s about Hinata. Tsukishima spoke carefully.

“Is something wrong with him?” Asahi questioned, letting his own anxiety settle in his chest. The picture of Hinata’s panic attack earlier that week resurfaced in the ace’s mind.

Tsukishima faltered. The hesitation was noticed by the older by males. “He..” The blonde first year paused, taking a breath. “He’s being abused...by his dad.”

Daichi’s breath was caught in his throat. “Y-you know?”

Tsukishima paused, raising an eyebrow. “You know?” The blonde retorted. The three third years glanced worriedly at one another.

“What makes you think that Tsukishima?” Sugawara asked, barely above a whisper. The blonde first year took half a second before responding.

“This morning.” Tsukishima frowned. “I helped him bandage some new injuries.” The tall first year paused, seeing Sugawara tense. The ashen haired third year was still haunted by the picture of Hinata’s wounded torso from a few days prior. “They’re worse. Newer. His left hand is...fractured at the least. Hinata told me that he was out past curfew and his dad wasn’t happy. The bruise on his left hand is in the shape of a boot. I told him that I wouldn’t say anything, so you can’t tell him that I told you.”

Daichi was speechless. He’d been right. Hinata was being abused. His precious junior was hurting. “O-okay. Thanks for telling us, Tsukishima.”

“But.” The three upperclassman stopped turning away, and waited for their tallest middle blocker to continue speaking. “I think that there is something else wrong. I tried asking, but Hinata didn’t say anything else.”

“I think I might know.” The four high school students jumped at the female voice that came from behind them all. They all turned. Kiyoko was standing there, her arms crossed underneath her breasts.

Asahi spoke, “You know something Shimizu?”

The third year girl nodded. “Yesterday, I left early because of a small accident my mom was is. I went to the hospital in Sendai. I saw Hinata and his little sister there. They were leaving at the same time as my family.”

“What was Hinata doing at the hospital in Sendai?” Sugawara questioned.

“He said that his mom is very sick. I think it’s a terminal illness of some sort.” Kiyoko frowned, turning her grey eyes down to the floor. “Hinata said that she might not make it.”

Silence wafted through the air, becoming thick with tension. “Hinata..” Sugawara hiccuped, covering his lips with his right hand.

Daichi sighed, looking between his teammates. “Hinata’s going through a rough time right now.” The brunette started. “We need to look out for him. Don’t let anyone else know about this, until we get some legitimate proof.” The teens present all nodded in agreement. “We’ll revisit this when the time is right.”

“Let’s hope Hinata will let us help him this time.” Asahi frowned.

“Tsukishima.” The blonde looked at the vice captain. “Right now, you’re the only one Hinata probably trusts. Keep an eye on him.”

Tsukishima stared at his upperclassmen. “Right. If you’ll excuse me, then. I’ll be leaving first.” The first turned and walked back to the first years classrooms.

“I should let you know.” Kiyoko turned toward the other third years. “I think Hinata’s dad, at the least, is an alcoholic. My parents dropped Hinata and his sister off at home last night. When Hinata went inside, I saw his dad carrying a beer bottle.”

“Shit.” Daichi cursed, eyeing a worried Sugawara and Asahi. “Thanks for letting us know, Shimizu.” The girl nodded her head, and gave the smallest, most reassuring smile. Then, the third year manager walked off.


	5. Falling Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
>  Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment  
>  (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)  
>  !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
> 
> A/n: WARNING :: There is MILD RAPE in this chapter. It's not very detailed, but in case you are are not comfortable then you can skip over. The story won't be TOO affected, since there will be minor references back to this moment.

Practice that afternoon was quiet, being filled with a strange tension between the four third years and Tsukishima. Hinata sat off to the side of the gym with Kiyoko. The small ginger didn't meet anyone's eyes, keeping his gaze down. Yamaguchi quietly watched his best friend, as the taller blonde tried to be as discreet as possible when glancing toward the ginger haired middle blocker. “Tsukki? What's wrong?” Yamaguchi finally voiced. But the only response from the taller teen was a low hum. “Does it have to do with Hinata?”

Tsukishima sighed, looking at his best friend. “It's nothing.” The blonde turned back to the serving practice that Ukai was currently making the rest of the team go through. Tsukishima got into the proper serving position. He made sure that his elbow was raised enough, before throwing the ball into the air with his left hand. Then with his right hand, Tsukishima successfully hit the multi-colored volleyball over the net.

There was a loud smack that resonated throughout the small gym. The familiar sound made Hinata glance upward. The small ginger felt a wave of nostalgia. Hinata wished he could be out there again, on the court. Happy. Normal. Hinata wished that everything that he was going through didn't happen. He wished that everything was back to the way it was before his mom collapsed and was sent to the hospital. Hinata wanted to play volleyball again.

But now--with his current injuries--he couldn't even do that.

Hinata turned away again, looking back down at the waxed gym flooring. He twiddled his thumbs on his lap and the sounds drowned out again. Hinata was stuck again with his thoughts. He couldn't help but to think that everything that was happening was, somehow, his fault. Even though he knew that it wasn't; he couldn't help that his mom had to go to the hospital. Hinata couldn't help that him and Natsu had to be under temporary custody of the very man that abandon them. There was nothing that Hinata could have done to prepare, nor prevent, the events that turned his life to shit.

Hinata was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a thunk to his right. The ginger looked at the person who had sat besides him. There, Tanaka sat, not making eye contact with the little ginger. Tanaka leaned forward so that his elbows rested atop his knees. Hinata waited for his upperclassman to speak first. “You can talk to me, Hinata.” The usually enthusiastic second year smiled solemnly. All Hinata could think to do was to nod.

“I know.” Hinata whispered after a few minutes of silence.

“Then why haven't you?” Tanaka’s voice was filled with hurt, underlined with worry and confusion. Hinata felt bad that he never confided in Tanaka, but the simple truth was that Hinata wasn't ready yet.

Hinata wanted to tell Tanaka that, but no words came out. Tanaka sighed, rubbing his hands over his head. The second year was about to get up from his spot, silently regretting his decision to confront the small ginger in the first place. “Not yet.” Hinata muttered under his breath, effectively stopping Tanaka in his place. “I'm not ready yet.” The ginger paused, staring at his hands on his lap. “When I'm ready, I'll tell you…All of you..”

Tanaka turned to look at Hinata this time. Hinata’s golden brown eyes were wide with fear, hesitance. The small ginger was pleading his upperclassman. Tanaka was practically frozen in place. Since when were Hinata’s eyes so filled with fear? How long has the ginger’s usual golden brown eyes been plagued with such dark emotions? How could he let his junior fall so deep into despair? Hinata was once a child as bright as the sun, but was now as dark as the deepest part of the ocean. “Okay.” Tanaka sighed, thankful that Hinata said he'd tell him. “Just promise that you won't wait too long. For all of our sakes.”

Hinata offered a subtle nod of acknowledgment. Tanaka nodded back, and stood up. The second year wing spiker made his way back to the court, where the rest of the team was waiting to finish off practice with cool down stretches. Hinata watched carefully, counting in his head along with Daichi’s powerful voice bouncing off of the gyms walls.

Practice ended on an earlier note. The sun was still up, though it has began to set. Hinata slowly walked home. He knew that he didn't have to worry about picking up his little sister. Natsu had a parent-teacher conference that required his dad to show up, and sober. Hinata was grateful that he could, at the very least, watch volleyball practice that day. Because lately he was forced to leave practice earlier to pick his sister up from daycare. So not having to worry about picking up his sister from school for one day was a huge weight off the ginger’s shoulders. The only thing that Hinata worried about was that Natsu was alone with their dad.

Again, a voice broke Hinata from his worrying thoughts. The ginger turned. He noticed that he didn't get far from Karasuno. He was barely a block away from the Foothill store that Ukai’s mom owned and where the coach worked. Hinata noticed Tanaka making his way toward him. The ginger waited patiently for the second year to catch up. “Yes?”

Tanaka panted, slowly catching his breath. “I'll walk with you part of the way.” The wing spiker offered. Hinata was going to deny the suggestion, but Tanaka seemed like he was just going to do it anyways. So Hinata let the second year follow him. As the two walked side by side in silence, Tanaka sighed. “So why'd you have to wait out in practice?” Tanaka couldn't think of anything else to say. Before everything, all Hinata spoke about was volleyball. So it only made sense that Tanaka bring up the beloved sport.

“I...uh..” Hinata struggled to find the right words. He was beginning to feel very insecure. The ginger knew that his senior meant well, but Hinata didn't know how to explain. Especially since earlier that day, Hinata had no other choice but to tell a certain tall, blonde first year. So one person was already piecing everything together. Hinata didn't know how'd he'd feel if another person was to find out; more or less, in the same day.

Tanaka glanced toward the small ginger to his left. Hinata looked beyond uncomfortable with the question that was left hanging in the air. “You don't have to answer if you don't want to.” He said to ease Hinata’s internal turmoil. “I was just kind of wondering, because the third years seemed pretty tense during practice today.” Tanaka continued to speak, whilst Hinata simply listened. “Even Tsukishima seemed kind of out of it.”

“Sorry.” Hinata muttered. Starting at his shoes as he continued to walk alongside Tanaka.

“What're you apologizing for?” Tanaka looked mildly surprised, stopping in his tracks for a mere second. Hinata stopped too. The ginger fidgeted, looking like he wanted to say something but couldn't. Tanaka waited patiently.

It took a few silent minutes for Hinata to gather whatever confidence he had. “I can walk from here.” Instead of Hinata explaining his apology, Hinata dismissed his senior’s company and scurried off as quickly as possible.

 

Tanaka was left standing in place. He couldn't do anything but to watch as Hinata’s figure disappeared toward the home in the mountains. “Tanaka!” a voice called. The second year turned his head, albeit hesitant to let the small ginger disappear from sight.

Sugawara caught up to the next ace of Karasuno. Tanaka looked at the ashen haired third year with eyes wide from confusion. Sugawara stopped and a frown formed amongst his lips. “Hinata?” he questioned, but Tanaka shook his head.

“He went home.” Tanaka motioned with his head, the direction that the small ginger had ran off to. The third year sighed. “What's wrong with Hinata?” Sugawara wasn't sure if he should tell Tanaka. It wasn't that he didn't trust the energetic second year. That wasn't the case by far! It was just that there wasn't enough room to make accusations. And Sugawara wasn't sure that telling Tanaka would help the situation. When Sugawara didn't respond, Tanaka spoke again, “I know you and the other third years know something…”

The third year smiled sadly. “What we know are just accusations and assumptions. They're ‘what if’s and ‘maybe’s...We don't know anything for sure.” Sugawara muttered, as him and Tanaka continued to walk together. 

“Then can’t you tell me too?” Tanaka asked in an unusually quiet tone. The third year could only frown, as he silently debated with himself. “I’m worried about him too.”

Sugawara didn’t look at his junior, and instead kept his eyes trained in front of him. “I know you are. Everyone on the team is. Even Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei.” The third year paused. “But if I tell you and our assumptions are heard by someone outside of the team, we could get in a lot of trouble.” Before Tanaka could reply, Sugawara began to speak again. “It’s not that we don’t trust you to keep it a secret, Tanaka. It’s just best that as few people as possible should know until we have any solid evidence. So please wait for us and we’ll try to gather more accurate information.”

Tanaka frowned, wondering what the ashen haired third year meant. Clearly, Sugawara and the other third years knew something. But Tanaka didn’t bother to ask anymore questions. Instead, the second year bid his farewell and took a separate path from Sugawara. As two became one, Tanaka was left with his own thoughts. The wing spiker hated how everyone seemed to know something except for him. It was like he was being kept out of the circle on purpose. Then there was Hinata himself. Now, Tanaka trusted Hinata when the latter promised that he would let the second year know in due time. But Tanaka wasn’t so sure that he had the patience to wait for the ginger to come to him. The only thing that Tanaka could do was to hold his own investigation.

\-----

Hinata arrived at home after the long, painfully dreadful walk home. The small ginger walked up to his front door, pulling out his house keys and slipping it into the keyhole. With a low click, the door was unlocked and Hinata applied the slightest pressure in order to push the wood door open. The high school stepped inside his home, noticing how the house was eerily silent. And the ginger knew what that meant, closing the door behind him.

Before Hinata could make a quick dash for the stairs that led to his room, a light flickered on from the kitchen. “Shouyou? Is that you?” A deep voice bellowed from the room to Hinata’s left. The small teen flinched. His shoulders scrunched up to his ears and his nose crinkled ever so slightly. His eyebrows furrowed and Hinata mentally prepared himself for anything that might happen to him within the next few moments.

Reluctantly, Hinata entered his kitchen. As soon as he entered, a putrid smell hit his nose. As quick as he could, Hinata raised his hand to cover his nose. Standing a few feet away, the teen’s dad was leaning against the kitchen counter, a lit cigarette resting between the man’s lips and a couple of beer bottles sitting in front of him. Hinata’s frown was hidden behind his raised hand. “Y-yes dad?” The ginger squeaked, trying his hardest to release the tension that was building up in his shoulders.

Hinata waited for the man to speak. Hinata’s dad took a long hit of the deadly cigarette and puffed out a large cloud of smoke. The man’s dark brown eyes narrowed in on Hinata’s small frame. “Where the hell have you been? Didn’t I tell you about curfew?” Hinata was a bit startled by his father’s unusually calm voice.

“Y-yes.” Hinata whispered. “I-I’m sorry..”

The man clicked his tongue, placing the cigarette between his chapped lips again. There was a moment of silence, as Hinata waited to either be punished or dismissed. He hoped the it was the latter. Again, Hinata couldn't help the way his body flinched as the man stood up to his complete height. The tall, burly man stared at the ginger that stood in the kitchen’s doorway. “Lately you’ve been breaking so many rules Shouyou.” The man stated. His voice coming out slow and thick. It made a shiver run down Hinata’s spine. The high schooler knew something was about to happen. “Maybe I’ve been going to easy on you. Do I really have to result in punishing Natsu because you don’t want to listen to the rules that I’ve set?”

“NO!” Hinata cried. His golden brown eyes widened in disbelief. He’d done everything he could to protect Natsu from this man! “I-I’ll be good! I-I promise! I’ll be good…Just done hurt Natsu. Please.” Hinata pleaded, eyes trained to the ground.

The man towered above Hinata’s much smaller figure. He hummed in mock thought. “Why should I forgive you, Shouyou?” The older male questioned. “You’ve broken so many rules in only a few days. Warning, after warning. You still don’t seem to understand..I don’t think you deserve to be forgiven.” He snickered, enjoying the way his son’s eyes glossed over with panicked tears.

“I’ll do anything!” Hinata raised his voice. The teen was determined to negotiate. The smaller ginger absolutely would not let his father lay a hand on his precious baby sister.

“Anything?” The man hummed, and his lips stretched into a malicious smirk. “Really?” Hinata nodded his head quickly. The man leaned in, his face mere centimeters away from his son’s. At this distance, Hinata could smell the toxic smoke that burned from the cigarette resting in the corner of his father’s lips. He could also see how red his father’s eyes were. They were dilated. And every time the man exhaled there was a disgusting hint of alcohol plaguing his breath. “Well then Shouyou, let’s have some fun.”

Hinata wasn’t sure what his dad meant by that. But the way the world spilled from the man’s lips, even Hinata could tell that the words weren’t so innocent. Before Hinata could try to make any type of escape, the man’s larger hand gripped roughly at Hinata’s right bicep. The grip was tight, and Hinata swore that his blood circulation was being cut off. Hinata closed his eyes and awaited for a fist to crash upon his cheek. But that never came.

Instead the man’s right hand grabbed Hinata’s face and suddenly lips were roughly pressed against the teen’s mouth. Hinata’s eyes flew open, staring back at the narrowed brown eyes in front of him. It only took mere seconds more until Hinata tried to pull away. The small ginger thrashed in futile attempts to release himself from his father’s death-like grip. To no avail and the grip tightened. Hinata’s golden eyes blurred with tears, that finally streamed down his cheeks. The small ginger began to thrash again when a wet muscle pressed against his bottom lip.

Still, the man was not even phased. He continued to force his tongue into his own son’s mouth. But surprisingly, Hinata was putting up enough of a fight. So the ginger haired man had to take drastic measures. He dug his nails into Hinata’s bicep and jaw, pressing his tongue against Hinata’s teeth. When Hinata still didn’t open his mouth, the man applied more pressure, until his son gasped from the pain. He took that moment to shove his tongue inside Hinata’s mouth.

Hinata, on the other hand, felt disgusted. His mind knew that this was wrong, but he couldn’t overpower his dad. The man was bigger than him, and stronger too. It was physically impossible. So Hinata did the next best thing. He bit down as hard as he could. His dad was forced to pull away, hand clamped over his mouth. But Hinata felt the rage rolling off the man in thick waves. And before Hinata could blink, he felt pain explode on the side of his face. Then the pain that pooled around his side. Hinata coughed, gasping for as much air as he could. But the blows to his body didn’t stop. Eventually blood spilled from Hinata’s lips.

“That fucking hurt Shouyou!” The man grunted in between each punch or kick he landed upon Hinata’s pale skin. After another moment of hitting the child that crumbled to the floor, the man bent down to his son’s level. “Try that again, and I’ll go play with Natsu instead.” That was all it took, and Hinata was compliant.

\-----

The touching started again, but this time they were in Hinata’s mother’s room. Or what used to be her room before she was transferred into the hospital. Now it belonged to his father.

Hinata was thrown onto the large bed, the sheets crumpling beneath him. His dad stood at the edge of the bed, glowering dangerously at Hinata’s shaking figure. “Hopefully you’ve learned your lesson this time, Shouyou. Remember, Natsu is right down the hall…” The man dared Hinata to try something again. The high school student nodded his head. “I was going to go easy on you this time, but now you’ve pissed me off.” He growled, reaching for his belt buckle.

At that smallest movement, Hinata vaguely knew what was coming next. And the thought disgusted him. He was terrified. Hinata didn’t understand why his father was the way he was. Hell. Hinata didn’t even understand how that type of thing was going to work. But he didn’t have any time to think about it, because he was harshly grabbed by his hair and yanked forward. A small yelp of pain escaped from Hinata’s lips. Taking a minute to process what was happening, Hinata finally noticed what was in front of him. His dad’s cock was centimeters from his face, fully exposed and fully erect. Hinata knew what was coming. “Suck.” His father demanded.

Hinata didn’t want to, not in the slightest. This type of thing was wrong. Hinata knew that much. All of this was wrong. The young high schooler hesitantly stared at the straining cock in front of him, trying to think of some way to get out of this situation. But Hinata wasn’t given that luxury. Without any warning or preparation, the man thrust forward into his son’s slightly parted lips. In one rough thrust, his dick hit the very back of Hinata’s throat. The smaller ginger gagged, and tears already fell down his cheeks. Hinata placed his hands on his dad’s hips, trying to push away. But that didn’t work.

The older man grabbed Hinata by the back of his head, and quickened his thrusts. He pulled all the way out, and pushed roughly back in. He was careful to make sure that he gave Hinata no rest. The man grunted, eyes closed, and the picture of some young high school girl sucking him off lingered in his mind. He was close. Because Hinata’s mouth was so warm, he was close. “You..better swallow, Shouyou.” He moaned his son’s name, his pace quickening again.

Hinata didn’t hear the words though. His jaw was numb and he couldn’t feel anything. His eyes were narrowed, as black circled the edge of his vision. He couldn’t hear anything except for the loud smacking that resonated every time his father thrusted forward. The ginger haired teen wasn’t even struggling back anymore. He couldn’t win against his dad’s strength.

Then there was a loud moan of Shouyou’s name. Bitter white liquid shot into Shouyou’s mouth and he gagged again, trying to pull away. Still Hinata couldn’t, with the thick fingers that were curled into the back of his head and held him in his place. The man before him began to thrust—albeit slower this time—milking the rest of his orgasm into his son’s mouth. “Fuck. Shouyou.” He moaned, throwing his head back.

When the orgasm passed, Hinata was finally able to fall back onto the bed. His eyes were closed, hair tousled, and face red. The boy’s clothing was a mess, as a few white drops of cum stained his school uniform. Hinata’s dad smirked down at the sight, getting hard once more.

“Don’t relax yet, Shouyou. We’re far from done.”

\-----

It was Saturday morning, the light peeking into the dark room through the thick curtains. Hinata lie awake on the bed in his mother’s old room. He couldn’t sleep at all, which was understandable considering the night he had. His body was in so much pain from being handled so harshly. The ginger haired child could barely move from his spot. But he had to, Hinata knew. It was a Saturday after all, and that meant weekend morning practice. Even though Hinata knew that he couldn’t play, he’d rather attend anyways if it meant he didn’t have to be in the same house with his father all weekend.

So, Hinata slowly forced himself to sit up, letting his legs fall over the side of the bed. His hands supported his body weight--clinging to the bed--as the high schooler pushed himself into a standing position. Hinata’s knees would’ve buckled from beneath him, if he hadn’t been holding himself up using the bed as a sort of leverage. Although he wasn’t putting anyway onto his legs, just standing up hurt like hell. Hinata’s legs were visibly shaking and if he were to let go of the bed, Hinata knew that he’d collapse.

With a deep inhale in preparation, Hinata leisurely pushed away from the bed, keeping his arms extended at his sides to balance himself. The ginger couldn’t help but to whimper from the pain that shot from his backside, up his spine. Walking the slowest pace he’s ever walked, Hinata scurried toward his bathroom. Looking upon his reflection in the mirror, Hinata jumped in surprise.

He looked even worse than he has been lately. His hair was matted, tangled, and most likely untamable. His eyes were red, sunken in, and purple rings circled under his eyes. His cheeks and nose were tinted red. Lips swollen, with a new cut scabbing over. Upon his neck, he sported a ring of purple bruises that looked horrifyingly like hands. Hinata still didn’t have any clothes on, not since they were practically torn to shred under his father’s death grip. This was the part that scared Hinata the most. His pale skin color was hardly recognizable, being littered with so many bruises, both old and new. The marks were a mix of green, black, blue and, purple. They scattered his chest and waist mostly, a large blob of dark spots. Then Hinata noticed the crescent shaped cuts on his hips, where his dad found was the only place he could easily grip and mark.

The physical wounds stopped there.

But Hinata’s mind was just as broken as his body looked, even more so.

At the sight of his own body, Hinata felt the tears pooling in his eyes. He couldn’t go to practice today. Not looking like this. Then everybody would surely know. Not to mention that Tsukishima was going to kill his dad, and then him. Probably. At that thought, the first year could feel the anxiety bubbling in his chest and spread throughout his body. Finally his legs buckled, Hinata falling onto the tiled floor with a loud  _ thunk _ . His breathing became labored as Hinata panicked. He couldn’t clear his head, couldn’t find a way to calm himself down. And that alone brought more panic and fear.


	6. A Turn for the Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNING!!:: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS CUTTING/SELF-HARM!!! If you are uncomfortable with this, please skip over this section. Thank you.
> 
> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
> Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harrasment  
>  (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)  
>  !TRIGGER WARNINGS!

Early Saturday morning, the Karasuno volleyball club was holding their usual weekend practice. As each of the high schoolers began to pool into their club room, everyone took note of their missing ginger haired middle blocker. Yet no one commented on it. Daichi turned toward his team. “Everyone,” the third year called for his teammate’s attention, “Let’s all hurry and get dressed for practice. Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei have an announcement for us regarding the upcoming tournament.”

“Yes!” The rest of the high school boys responded.

“Tsukishima.” Daichi turned toward the tallest member on the team. Said blonde turned toward the dark haired captain. “When you’re finished, can I talk to you outside?” Daichi questioned. The first year nodded his head in acknowledgement, before continuing to slip his t-shirt over his head. Tanaka glanced in between Daichi and the blond first year, hastening his dressing process.

Once Tsukishima was finished dressing into his practice clothes, he tucked his belongings against the wall in a neat pile. When satisfied, Tsukishima exited the club room in order to look for Daichi. The third year was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, by the club room building. A frown stretching across the brunette’s lips, as his brown eyes scanned the school gates. “Daichi-san?” Tsukishima called to announce his presence.

Daichi spun around and offered a grim smile. “Hey, Tsukishima.” The blonde nodded, waiting for the captain to stop beating around the bush. “You hear anything from Hinata since yesterday morning?” Daichi’s voice lowered considerable. The older male glancing around for any unwanted listeners. A sigh left Tsukishima’s lips.

“None.” Tsukishima muttered. The corner of his lips tugged downward and his eyes narrowed considerably. “I feel like something bad is happening.” Daichi could clearly see how frustrated the blonde was, which proved to be surprising since Tsukishima always made it seem like he despised Hinata.

“I have the same feeling.” Daichi ended up admitting. “And with Hinata not here, the feeling seems to have intensified. I was hoping he contacted you, at the very least.” Tsukishima shook his head though.

“He hasn’t.” The blonde scowled, reaching up to readjust his glasses that kept sliding down the bridge of his nose. Daichi exhaled loudly, his eyes closing and hands on his hips.

“I see. Well, thanks anyway Tsukishima.” Daichi told his junior, who nodded and dismissed himself toward the school’s second gym. The third year hoped that talking to Tsukishima would ease his consciousness, but the decision only intensified the horrible feeling that bubbled in the pits Daichi’s gut. He thought that since Tsukishima sort of cornered Hinata into telling him what was going on, Tsukishima was become someone for Hinata to constantly confide in. But it seemed that that wasn’t the case. Daichi cursed under his breath and ran his right hand over his face. 

“Daichi-san?” Said third year jumped at the sudden call of his name. Standing in front of him was a worried looking Tanaka. The expression that the second year was making meant that he heard his and Tsukishima’s conversation.

Daichi frowned. “Tanaka. It’s..”

“I know. Susa-san explained that only a few people should know about whatever, at least until there’s more solid evidence.” Tanaka’s frown deepened, as betrayal and hurt lingered in his brown eyes. “Right?”

“Yeah. Sorry Tanaka.” Daichi apologized. The usually hyperactive second year gave a broken smile and nodded his head. Together, the two wing spikers made their way into the gym to await the rest of the team.

Once the team—excluding their ginger haired middle blocker—gathered, Ukai stood in front of them all with Takeda at his side. “Okay I have an announcement regarding the tournament rapidly approaching.” Ukai began, his brown eyes scanning over the small group of high schoolers. With a frown, the young coach took a breath and prepared for the team’s reaction to his announcement. “I’ve decided to momentarily pull Hinata from the starting line.” There was a short moment of silence before the high schooler’s broke out in protest.

“We can’t pull Hinata off the starting line!”

“Just because he’s not here doesn't mean that he’s not practicing!”

“Our attacks were centered around him and Kageyama! What’re we going to do now?”

“He’ll come back!”

Ukai sighed before shouting to reel in everyone’s attention again. “I realize that you all don’t agree with me on this decision, but frankly, there’s nothing more that I can do about it. Currently, Hinata is not in the proper condition—physically nor emotionally—to be participating in volleyball.” The quiet murmurs stopped after this was pointed out. “For now, Ennoshita will be taking Hinata’s spot as middle blocker. And until I see improvement in Hinata’s mental and physical wellbeing, he is suspended from participating in practice of any kind. Understood?”

The high school boys looked amongst themselves. “Yes.” They reluctantly replied.

——-

Hinata was able to slowly calm himself down. His breathing wasn’t as erratic anymore. Still, the ginger sat unclothed on his bathroom floor. His knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around them. Gold eyes fluttered as adrenaline left Hinata’s system. The pain still lingered, never going away. It stayed, a sore ache in his lower back. The bruises that littered the high schooler’s chest and waist felt like fire, slowly burning him alive. Hinata didn’t want to get up. He didn’t want to leave this position, that he found comfortable. The way he sat, it felt like he could protect himself. It made him feel safer. But Hinata knew that he would have to get up.

So he did. Ever so slowly, Hinata unraveled himself and stood on shaky legs. His arms were spread out to his side in a fetal attempt to himself balanced. This time, as Hinata passed the mirror, he avoided looking at his reflection. He didn’t need another break down. The male made his way to his shower, and turned the water to a warm, bearable temperature. When the water was heated to Hinata’s liking, the ginger haired boy climbed into his shower. Careful not to slip, he slowly washed himself of the vile, sticky liquid that dried amongst his pale skin. Seeing the substance come off wasn’t enough. Hinata didn’t feel clean. He kept scrubbing his body, until his pale skin tinted red. Even then, he didn’t feel clean. Moving on, Hinata’s nimble fingers reached up to clean his hair too. Rinsing his orange locks thoroughly, before pumping a little too much shampoo into his palm and scrubbed his scalp with just enough force. Hinata soaped his scalp another few times before he was satisfied, and rinsed his hair again.

Hinata winced as he continued to soap his body again. The redness from before had not disappeared, instead the color only brightened by the quickened scratching of Hinata’s nails. As he kept on moving around in the shower, pain continuously shot up the back of Hinata’s spine. He didn’t even want to think about why it hurt so much because deep down, he knew. Hinata knew why his backside hurt. He knew why it felt weird back there when he moved. And most of all, Hinata knew he’d have to clean there. Reluctantly, Hinata went to work in cleaning his sore hole. As he cleaned that area, tears pooled at the corner of his eyes.

As slowly as he could, Hinata pushed a finger inside himself. He wanted to cry out in pain, but he bit his lip to keep from making a sound. He moved his finger around, feeling a disgusting, sticky substance falling down his leg. The tears fell over Hinata’s cheeks. His stomach muscles tightened and Hinata pushed that damn substance out of him. As much as he could, he pushed it out. With the help of his own finger and soap, Hinata cleaned himself. But even with the many times he soaped back there, he did not feel clean. He felt disgusted with himself.

Once out of the shower, Hinata wrapped the softest towel he could find around his body. The fuzzy fabric felt comforting against his irritated and bruised skin. The ginger opened the bathroom door, peeking up and down the hallways. Thankfully there was no sign of his dad anywhere. So Hinata crept to his room, opening the door quietly. He slipped inside and shut the door behind him, with the small click of the lock. Upon his bed, Hinata saw his little sister snuggled under the his blankets. Her matching ginger hair peeking out from under his navy blue pillow. He couldn’t help the throaty chuckle that rumbled in his chest. Hinata moved to change into the baggiest t-shirt and the biggest pair of sweats that he owned. He didn’t want his clothes further irritating his skin and his bruises.

After Hinata finished dressing into his clothes, he sat at the edge of his bed. He reached out and ran his fingers through Natsu messy orange locks. She squirmed under his touch, making Hinata laugh quietly. Natsu let out a small whine when Hinata pulled away. “Natsu.” Hinata called, lightly shaking his little sister awake. Bright gold eyes fluttered open, looking dazed and disoriented. The black of her pupils dilated, trying to focus on Hinata’s face that leaned over her. “Natsu wake up. Let’s go visit mom this morning.” Hinata urged when the little girl groaned. “Hurry before dad wakes up.” He said again, helping Natsu sit up.

The small girl rubbed at her eyes, opening her mouth for a big yawn. “Nii-chan?” Natsu questioned, staring at her older brother. Hinata chuckled again, patting the girl on the head. “We’re visiting mommy?”

“Yes Natsu.” Hinata nodded his head. “If you want to go before dad wakes up, then you have to get up now.” Natsu nodded back, her feet landing with a dull thump on the wooden floor of Hinata’s room. “You have to be quiet in the hallway. Dad’s still sleeping.” The older ginger warned, bringing his right index finger to his lips. Natsu’s messy curls bounced when he nodded her head again.

Sneaking down the hall, the siblings slipped into Natsu’s room for the younger Hinata to get dressed. Hinata pulled out his sister’s clothes, letting her dress herself. After her shirt was on, Hinata quickly ran a brush through her hair in an attempt to tame her locks, to no avail. He tied his sister’s hair into her usually preferred twin pigtails. And in no time flat, the siblings were out the door. “Nii-chan?” Natsu asked, looking up at her big brother. Hinata looked down at her. “Did daddy hurt you again?” Her voice was uncharacteristically quiet, as she stared down at her pink and white shoes. “You’re limping.”

“Ah.” Hinata winced. Apparently he wasn’t hiding his injuries well enough. “I’m fine Natsu. I feel better after the shower I took.” He tried to reassure the smaller girl that he was okay. Natsu frowned. “Really Natsu, I’m okay. Let me handle dad.” Before Natsu could argue, Hinata gently took his sister’s hand and tugged her to the bus stop.

The two Hinata siblings waited for their bus that arrived within twenty minutes. When the bus doors opened, Hinata allowed his sister to climb aboard first and followed right after her. The two sat in the middle section of the bus, with Natsu sitting beside the window and Hinata sitting by the aisle. Natsu bounced in her seat, much like Hinata used to do before fear and stress consumed him. At the very least Hinata was glad that the light in his sister’s eyes has not faded yet.

The bus stopped a couple more times to pick up another handful of people, before it stopped in front of the hospital. Hinata gathered Natsu and led her off of the bus. Natsu skipped toward the door, with her older brother striding after her. The automatic doors opened and a cool rush of air hit Hinata in the face. The coolness felt soothing against the heat of his red skin. Hinata checked in with the receptionist at the front, as per usual.

At the time, nothing seemed out of place.

The two siblings made their way up to room 513. As the doors closed to the elevator, a bad feeling settled in the pit of Hinata’s stomach. He furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing what this bad feeling was. Instead he focused his golden-brown eyes on the number five button that lit up underneath Natsu’s finger. The elevator began to move and to Hinata the ride felt long. The bright light above him was too bright, blinding almost. The space seemed to grow smaller, the longer he was inside this metal cage. A pounding in the side of his head began to appear, and Hinata cringed at it.

Then there was a  _ ding _ . And the doors slide open…

To absolute chaos.

The first thing that Hinata noticed was the bed that was being wheeled out of an all too familiar hospital room. Mind running on automatic, Hinata picked up his sister, running after the nurses and doctors that wheeled a gurney down the hall. “Wait! Wait!” Hinata called after the people in starling white uniforms.”That’s my mom!” His voice cracked through the bustling hallway, echoing and bouncing off of the tile floor. Natsu was crying, terrified by the sudden loudness of her brother’s voice. She was confused. She had every right to be.

Hinata was stopped by a nurse with long red tinted hair and bright blue eyes. She held her arms out, stopping Hinata from following the other doctors into a bigger elevator that allowed the gurney to be wheeled inside. The doors closed and Hinata screamed, taking his anger out on the nurse. “Sir, you need to calm down.” The older woman frowned. She pitied the children. They were so young, coming whenever they could between school to come visit their mom. It was a sad, rare sight.

“Where are they taking her!?” Hinata yelled frantically. His eyes kept travelling back to the closed metal doors that clearly reflected his wide, frightened eyes and shaky hands that gripped the back of Natsu’s dress.

“They’re taking her to the ER, for emergency resuscitation.” The older nurse calmly explained. “Just a few moments ago, Mrs. Hinata’s heart monitor flatlined.” Hinata inhaled, eyebrows furrowed as if he didn’t quite understand.

But Hinata understood perfectly. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, the air caught in his throat. He felt the faint tugging of his hair that Natsu pulled on in order to get his attention. But Hinata couldn’t respond, let alone look his sister in the eyes. All the ginger could think about was the fact that his mom’s heart stopped. It. Had. Stopped. Hinata felt like throwing up. He felt disgusted. Everything from the last couple weeks were catching up to him. And it was all out of Hinata’s control. “Take her to the waiting room.” Hinata’s voice cracked, as he held Natsu out to the nurse. “I--” Hinata took a breath to clear the lump in his throat. “I need time alone.” The words came out rushed and desperate.

“Nii-chan!” Natsu whined and cried while she was handed off to the older male. Her tiny hands reaching out to her brother’s figure that disappeared down the hall.

\-----

Hinata ran into the nearest bathroom, locking it so that any other visitors could not enter. The tears began to flow more freely over his lightly freckled cheeks. Eyelids closing and hiding away watery gold eyes. Hinata brought his hands to lock over his mouth. He didn’t want to hear the sobs that wracked his chest and shook his shoulders. But the whimpers stilled slipped through the cracks in his fingers. And the sound was pathetic in Hinata’s ears. He couldn’t believe what was happening. In as little as two weeks, his life had completely flipped around.

To start it off, his mom suddenly collapsed and was sent to the hospital. She was diagnosed with some deadly sickness that Hinata didn’t even want to try pronouncing. Then his dad sudden appeared again, after years of disappearance, and taking temporary custody of him and Natsu. The abuse began, and not to mention the forbidden activities that took place last night. Now, his mom. His mom was dying.

It was too much to handle.

Hinata stood up, walking up to the mirrors that lined the walls in the bathroom. What used to be brightly lit gold eyes, were now a dull brown that reflected in the mirror. The whites of his eyes were a bright red. He could see even the bright red veins that lined around the pupil. Dried tears streaked his too red cheeks and snot ran underneath his nose. He seemed to be doing this a lot lately, just staring at his appearance. It was like he was a masochist, finding something comforting in seeing his horribly ruined appearance.

Then the anger settled in his stomach. In his chest. He was anger at himself. Hinata knew that everything that had happened was out of his control. But he needed someone to blame, and frankly the only person he could blame was himself. There must’ve been something else he could have done to prevent his mother from going through all of this. She suffered so much, and Hinata wanted nothing more than to ease her pain and worries. But he couldn’t even accomplish that.

“DAMN IT!” Hinata cursed loudly, and in a spurt of absolute rage, the ginger reached out and punched the mirror with all his might. After some of his anger dissipated, Hinata was surprised by the cracked glass and the pain that blossomed in the knuckles of his right hand. But the pain felt good. “Damn it.” He muttered to himself with a humorless chuckle. “I really must be a sadist.” The male drew his hand back again, punching the glass over and over until pieces shattered over the sink.

Suddenly, it was like Hinata was hypnotized. He stared intently at the pretty transparent glass that littered the marbled sink. His nimble fingers glazed over the glass shards, wrapping around the sharp edges. And the sting felt good. Hinata’s eyebrows furrowed as he brought the glass up to his face to examine. The glass was pretty, with the luminous light from above reflecting off it’s shined surface. Hinata wanted to feel the pain again. He wanted that pain that he could control. The thought was so very appealing to him. So slowly, Hinata brought the jagged edge to his hip. With his left hand, he revealed the purple and black bruised skin of his right hip. The other hands, slowly bringing the sharp glass to his skin.

Before he knew it, Hinata made the first cut. It was thin, just barely breaking the skin. Little beads of blood slipping through the tiny cut. The pain was there, a small, barely noticeable sting. And that wasn’t enough. He wanted to feel more of it. So he brought the edge to his skin again. This time Hinata pressed harder, drawing more blood. Surprisingly the brightly colored red looked stunning in contrast to the black of his hip.

It looked pretty.

And few more cuts were added after that. Hinata just couldn’t stop. The pain that he inflicted himself was calming. Almost instantly, he knew that he was addicted. It took him more than a few minutes to reel himself back into reality. Hinata remembered that he was doing this in a hospital bathroom, where all it took was for one visitor to tell an employee about the locked bathroom door. Cursing under his breath, Hinata slipped the shard of glass into the pocket of his sweats. He was careful enough to pat his seven cuts down from the red beads of blood. The ginger kept the paper towel pressed against his hip, keeping it in place with the elastic of his boxers and sweats. Next, Hinata rinsed his right hand of the black blood that dried over his knuckles. The soap that he used created a nice sting over the cuts, but Hinata preferred the cuts that littered his hips. He wrapped his hand in temporary bandages that he made out of toilet paper and paper towels. Natsu would question him, but he’d deal with that later.

Finishing cleaning up the mess of blood on both the mirror and the floor. Finally the ginger haired boy washed his face with the cracking dried tears, and patting his cheeks down. With a sigh, Hinata exited the bathroom. He took the elevator back down to the first floor, where the waiting room to the Emergency Room would be. Hinata easily found the red headed nurse that sat beside his little sister’s tiny form. The teen cleared his throat, as he walked up to the two.

“Nii-chan!” Natsu instantly jumped up, running into her brother’s open arms and burying her face tear-struck face into Hinata’s stomach. “Where were you!? I was worried! And mom hasn’t come out yet!” The girl sobbed loudly, but the sound was muffled into Hinata’s t-shirt.

Hinata kneeled down so that he was face-to-face with his little sister. “I’m so sorry, Natsu.” He muttered into the tiny girl’s hair. He placed a gentle kiss into the crown of her head. “I was shaken up and I froze. I know I should’ve been there for you too.” Natsu grumbled and whined, but Hinata knew that he was forgiven. He turned to the nurse, who had stood up to leave. Hinata didn’t say anything, but she smiled anyway and nodded her head.

Natsu and Hinata moved back toward the seats. It didn’t take long for Natsu to fall asleep on Hinata’s lap, leaving the teen in tense silence. The hidden cuts on the right side of his hip throbbed dully, as Natsu’s shoulder dug into the tiny wounds. But Hinata hid his quiet cringing well. His right, poorly bandaged hand rubbed gently through his sister’s hair, in a form of distracting himself from thinking anymore.

Then a doctor stepped into the waiting area. He called Hinata’s mom’s name. Almost in an instant, Hinata stood. Except he remembered that Natsu’s head was on his lap, so he steadily moved her before walking up to the awaiting doctor. “I’m Hinata Shouyou, her son.” Hinata blinked up at the doctor. “I-is..Did she make it?”

The doctor was taking too long to answer. And Hinata’s heart sunk. A new set of tears were already sprouting in the corner of his dull brown eyes. “I am so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, we were unable to resuscitate your mother. The brain tumor was just too large, and surgery wouldn’t have had a very high survival rate.” The doctor explained, but Hinata didn’t hear anything past the first sentence. The ringing in his ears were too loud. The weight of the doctor’s words sat heavily on Hinata’s shoulders.

The world around him turned dull. And the figure of the older man in front of him blurred.

Hinata felt sick again. He wanted to throw up. But most of all, the urge to cut bubbled in his chest. “C-can we see her?” Hinata’s voice didn’t even sound like his own. It sounded foreign. Unfamiliar. Was Hinata even the one talking? He wasn’t sure, but the lips of the doctor moved and he nodded his head. Hinata took that as an okay. So he went back and stirred Natsu from her sleep.

“Nii-chan?” Natsu questioned, rubbing her eyes from sleep.

Hinata smiled one of the most broken smiles in his life. Not even he could mask the amount of hurt that he felt. “Hey Natsu.” His voice cracked. At this point, he was moving on autopilot. The girl tilted her head, gold eyes darkening with confusion and worry. “I need you to listen very carefully.” Even though Hinata felt his voice cracking, he didn’t stutter and for the most part his tone was even. He was slightly proud of the amount of calm that he was showing. “The doctors, they did everything they could. But what happened to Mom was just out of their power, and nothing more could be done.” Hinata explained as slowly as possible.

Natsu’s face scrunched up. Her nose crinkled and her jaw tightened. “I don’t understand, Nii-chan.” She whispered.

Hinata chewed at his bottom lip, thinking of the best way to tell Natsu. He finally decided on pulling the girl into a tight hug, hoping that he could be even half as comforting as the hugs their mom used to give. It was also to hide the tears that started to fall. “Mom’s not coming back, Natsu.” This time, Hinata’s voice did waver, but it was only natural. Natsu sobbed into his neck, whisper ‘no no no’ over and over again. Her tiny hand clutched the back of Hinata’s t-shirt in her fists. “I’m so sorry, Natsu. I wish I could’ve done something else.” But the girl didn’t respond, only wailing loudly into the crook of her brother’s neck. “Let’s go say our goodbye’s to mom.”

The two siblings were led to a room past the Emergency Room doors. They followed the doctor down a seemingly endless hallway, finally turning into a room on the left. Hinata choked on the air in his lungs. Natsu spun around, a new onset of tears bursting from her already bloodshot eyes. The doctor dismissed himself, giving time to the siblings. Hinata, who was now carrying the wailing Natsu,stepped up to the side of the bed. He stared at his mother’s lifeless body.

The woman’s complexion was pale, a ghostly white. Purple circles under her eyes created the effect that her eyes were more sunken in than they actually were. Her eyes--themselves--were closed, hiding away the golden eyes that Hinata and Natsu had inherited from her. Short black hair was matted and dead-looking, tangled in small knots across the white pillow under her head. Down her neck, her collar bones were sharp and almost tore through her actual skin. Arms and legs were thin, and just as pale as the rest of her body. She was small.

Hinata gagged at the sight. It made him sick, sicker than any nausea he’d ever felt before a volleyball game. It was horrid. Stomach acid rising into his throat. He feverishly swallowed, and backed away from his mom’s body. “I’m sorry...I’m so sorry.” He muttered. Hinata didn’t know who he was apologizing to, whether it be his mother, his sister, God, or maybe even himself. But those words were the only thing that he could think to say as endless tears dripped from his chin.


	7. Seeking Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EXPLICIT CONTENT in the Chapter.
> 
> Swearing/Cursing, Rape, Sexual Activity, Implied Cutting
> 
> If You're SENSITIVE To This PLEASE SKIP THAT SECTION!!
> 
> This whole chapter is NOT ENTIRELY EXPLICIT. There is still IMPORTANT story portions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
>  Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harassment  
>  (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)  
> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!
> 
>  
> 
> (See End Notes)

“Shouyou.” A deep voice grumbled from behind Shouyou and Natsu. The older ginger spun around, clutching Natsu closer to him. Standing in the doorway was his father, a terrifying man. Luckily a doctor stood not far behind the burly ginger haired man, so Shouyou’s dad could not hurt him.

“Dad.” Shouyou muttered, eye furrowed. He hesitantly looked in between the doctor and his father. There would probably be a funeral service that was to be discussed. The man glared at the high schooler as he stalked into the room. As normal as possible--as to not raise any suspicion with the accompanying doctor--Shouyou’s dad placed a thick hand over his son’s left shoulder. And he squeezed, tightly. Shouyou knew that he was pissed. Him and Natsu were not supposed to visit their mom. Adding on to the fact that they snuck out this morning, without telling their father. Shouyou knew punishment would come later.

“Are you alright?” The tall ginger questioned, almost reluctantly. But Shouyou rapidly nodded his head to prevent any unnecessary conversation. “I’m sorry you and Natsu have to go through this. It’s traumatic. Why don’t you two wait out in the lobby, so I can take care of everything here.” He suggested, painfully squeezing Shouyou’s shoulder. His nails digging into Shouyou’s skin, even through the thickness of the teen’s t-shirt.

Shouyou didn’t hesitate to respond. His father hated hesitation. He answered with a quiet ‘yes’ that was clearly laced with fear--at least that’s what he thought. But the doctor seemed to have mistaken that fear for shock and mourning. In a sense, he wasn’t wrong. Shouyou quickly scurried out of the room, with Natsu curled in his grasp. He was led back to the waiting room by a nurse and was left to wait for his dad to come back. “Nii-chan?” Natsu croaked, the sound muffled into his neck. Shouyou hummed in response. “What’s going to happen now?”

The question baffled Shouyou because he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know what was going to happen; not exactly at least. The ginger haired teen did have an idea though, and the near future didn’t look very promising. “Dad’s probably going to get full custody of us.” Shouyou said quietly. He despised that idea. He didn’t want to spend anymore time around this man, especially with Natsu under the same roof. She would become a constant use to threaten Shouyou.

“So daddy’s still gonna hurt you?” She whispered quietly, so only her brother could hear her. Shouyou nodded into her hair.

“Probably.”

“I don’t want that.” Natsu sniffled, wrapping her arms tighter around the elder’s neck. Shouyou tightened his grip around her as well.

“Neither do I,” The high schooler admitted. “But I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you out of harm’s way, so you have to listen to me. Okay?”

“‘Kay.” The girl responded.

Shouyou kissed his sister’s temple. “Now go to sleep Natsu. It’s been a long day.” He hummed, slowly lulling his baby sister to sleep. Natsu snored ever so quietly, her breath hot against Shouyou’s neck.

\-----

Shouyou wasn’t sure how long he waited, but finally his dad came out from wherever he had went with the doctor. The two men shook hands and next thing Shouyou knew was that the older ginger was making his way toward Shouyou and Natsu. Shouyou tiredly stood up. No words were exchanged, as the teen followed his dad out of the hospital. Shouyou didn’t realize how long he’s been confined in the hospital that day. Shouyou had arrived at the hospital sometime that late morning, maybe around ten o’clock. But now the sun was already setting, hiding behind distant hills and leaving a pink, blue, purple, and orange hue in it’s wake.

Silently, the broken family gathered into the car the Shouyou’s dad had drove down to Miyagi Hospital. The ride was silent. No words needed to be said for Shouyou to feel the heated rage that rolled of his dad’s body in thick waves. He held the sleeping Natsu tighter to him, only staring straight ahead. Shouyou didn’t dare to make eye contact with his dad right now. That would be almost certain death.

\-----

Tanaka was at home. He had come back from morning practice a few hours ago. He’d spent another hour in his room, attempting to do his school work. But that had ended in utter failure. Tanaka’s thoughts were too muddled and confused. All he could think about was the worrying absence of Hinata that morning. From over hearing Daichi and Tsukishima’s conversation before practice, it was clear that something about Hinata was troubling the third years--and the blond middle blocker (surprisingly). That alone cause Tanaka to worry even more than he was before. Now, the thought of something terrible happening to Hinata would leave his head.

In a sad attempt to clear his head, Tanaka made his way downstairs. As he came into his living room, the couch was all too tempting and Tanaka couldn’t help but to collapse over the couch. The second year groaned into the soft cushion, his legs dangling over the armrest. “Ryu, is that you?” A girlish voice called from the kitchen. A young woman with short blonde hair and rounded brown eyes stepped into the now occupied living room. “Ryu? What are you doing?” The woman asked, placing her hands on her hips.

“Nee-san.” Tanaka whined, rolling to sit up. The frown on the high schooler’s face made it easy to see that something was wrong.

“What’s wrong Ryu?” The woman, Saeko, questioned. She sat beside her brother, eyebrows furrowed with slight worry. This was Tanaka after all. He was an overall energetic and boisterous person. Today, though Tanaka seemed to be in a bad mood. More like, Tanaka was having an off day. So Saeko comfortingly placed her hand on her younger brother’s shoulder to get him to relax a bit.

“It’s Hinata.” Tanaka frowned, scrunching his eyebrows at the suddenly forbidden name.

“Hinata? The little ginger spitfire, right?” Saeko questioned. She received a subtle nod from Tanaka. “What about him?”

Tanaka sighed, leaning forward and pressing his elbows into his knees. He ran his hands over his head and sighed. “The past couple of weeks, Hinata’s been weird. Like, scary weird. It’s got the whole team on edge.”

Saeko frowned upon hearing this. She’s met Hinata before. When she had driven the ginger and the other kid down to Tokyo to get the two to their training camp. Hinata was a fun and amusing kid. In a way, he was like a second brother to Saeko. Even though she’s only seen him once. “What’s weird about him?” Saeko hesitated just a bit.

“He’s not himself anymore.” Tanaka stated slowly, as if he himself was unsure. “He’s not jumping around or yelling. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time Hinata smiled.” Tanaka’s voice cracked at the last sentence. “He stopped talking to the team, to his classmates. He was pulled off of the starting lineup because he’s been coming to school exhausted. It gets worse everyday. The circles under his eyes and his skin get paler everyday.” Saeko gasped, but Tanaka continued to speak. “And earlier this week, we found his body all bruised up and-and..It was horrible. Like, who’d hurt Hinata like that?”

“Ryu..”

“It’s infuriating because after that, Hinata just fled. He ran away and we couldn’t get ahold of him. The next day he came to school like nothing happened. Like we hadn’t just caught him with his torso all bloodied and bruised. And none of us could bring ourselves to ask how he’d gotten them.” Tears flooded over Tanaka’s cheeks and his voice cracked with every other word. Saeko pulled her brother into her, running her right hand over his head and cheek. “But the third years seem to know something. They won’t tell the rest of us thought. Something about what they think being assumptions. I get that though. I-I just want Hinata back. I’m worried for him, nee-san. H-he won’t talk to me though. H-he just--”

“Shh, Ryu.” Saeko hushed her brother. She hummed and let Tanaka cry into her shoulder. Usually she would tell her brother to man up and do something. But she wouldn’t say that this time because this wasn’t the time. Her brother was hurting and needed to vent, and she would be there for him to lean on.

It took more than a few minutes for Tanaka to calm down again. His stressful cries reducing down into slow and long breaths of air. It was quiet between the two siblings for another minute. “Hey.” Saeko started, “You okay now?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Tanaka muttered.

“I’m sorry about what’s happening with your friend.” Saeko whispered. “But you can’t force him to tell you something he’s not ready to share.”

Tanaka leaned away and looked at his sister. “I know that. But I feel so useless. I can’t do anything to help him and he’s suffering by himself.”

Saeko turned and gripped Tanaka’s face in between her two hands. “I know it’s hard Ryu, but the best thing you can do right now is make sure he know that he has someone to go to when he’s ready.” The young woman stated. “Often times that’s where people go wrong. They’re too caught up worry about what could happen, that they forget to act. And when the person suffering is ready to tell someone, no one is there for them.” Saeko smiled, “So be sure that Hinata knows you’re there for him. Okay?”

“Yes, nee-san.” Tanaka smiled back. “Thanks.”

“No problem, little bro.” Saeko chuckled, and stood. “I’m making dinner right now. Why don’t you pick us up some dessert for after?” She suggested with a cheeky grin. Tanaka rolled his eyes and stood.

“Then lend me some money.” He grinned at the blonde haired girl. “Ah, you little brat.” Saeko reached up to pinch Tanaka’s cheek. She sighed and turned to her back that sat on the living room table. “Here.”

Tanaka took the money that was offered to him and grabbed his coat. “I’ll be back soon then.”

\-----

Tanaka walked down to the closest convenience store to his home. The little chime went off as the automatic doors slid open. Instantly, Tanaka was hit by a wave of cool air. He thanked god that he remembered to grab his jacket before leaving his place. Tanaka walked further into the little mart and toward the back where the drinks and ice creams were.

As Tanaka was conflicted by which kind of ice cream he should get, the store chime went off again when more people entered the store. Tanaka didn’t bother to turn. He was currently conflicted between choosing two different ice creams. One was strawberry, which was Saeko’s favorite, and the other was mango, Tanaka’s favorite. After a quick self-debate and recounting his money, Tanaka just decided to get both. He opened the fridge to pull the snacks out when someone bumped into him.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” A gruff voice spoke. Tanaka turned and shook his head. Passing by him were three men that were heading toward the alcohol. One of them was wearing a blood red t-shirt, black jeans, and a black leather jacket. Another was where a plain white t-shirt and regular blue jeans. And the third had a yellow tank top with green letters that spelt out something provocative in English, and tan khakis. Tanaka shrugged his shoulders and went to pull out his desired snacks again. He gathered the two tubs of ice cream into his arms and winced at the cold touching his forearms.

The second year was about to make his way toward the cash register to pay for his items, when he heard something disturbing from the three men in the alcohol aisle. “Yeah, Hinata said he’d let us see his new favorite toy.” Tanaka stopped to blink. He paused in the chip aisle, trying to make it look like he was still browsing, as he eavesdropped on the adult’s conversation. Lately he’s been doing this a lot. “Said it was real good, and compliant.” The one in the white continued.

“Can’t wait to punish them. Hinata said they’d been breaking the rules lately.” The one in yellow smirked.

“That’s the thing about kids these days. They don’t listen to their parents and think they know everything. Fucking little shits.” The one in red growled, grabbing a case of beer from the fridge.

“Hey, more fun for us right? Especially since Hinata’s offering. The guy was always a dick. Never liked sharing.” The man in yellow crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes.

“Well there’s a first for everything.” The one in white shrugged. “We better start heading over.”

With that, the three men bought their beer and left.

Tanaka blanched, stepping out from behind the aisle he was taking cover in. Quickly, he made his purchases and tried to see if he could spot those three men. They didn’t get far, only around the corner from the convenience store. Tanaka tried to be as discreet as possible, following those suspicious men. It made him feel even worse when he noticed the direction they were heading.

It was up the steep hill, where Hinata traveled home everyday.

Something didn’t sit right with Tanaka. And he pulled out his phone, snapping quick pictures of the three guys. And it was only minutes later did Tanaka’s stomach drop. The three men disappeared into Hinata’s house. Now he, himself, has never been to his auburn haired junior’s house, but it wasn’t exactly hard to figure out that the house he was standing in front of was Hinata’s. Especially since the surname was tagged on the house’s mailbox. As quick as he could, Tanaka snapped a picture of the three men entering Hinata’s house and of a ginger haired man that had answered the door.

He ducked away and ran back home. He had some calls to make.

\-----

As the Hinata’s arrived at home, the first year teen boy carried his younger sister upstairs to his room. He laid down Natsu upon his bed and tucked her in tightly under his white comforter. Leaning down, he placed a lingering kiss amongst her forehead. Once Shouyou was sure that she would not stir from her slumber, he exited his room. Shouyou went back downstairs, where his dad was most likely waiting in the living room with an already opened bottle of beer. It was better for Shouyou to go get his punishment now, rather than having his dad come find him because then the punishment you just be even worse.

Shouyou stepped into his living room, only to see that his dad wasn’t around. There was a loud slam from behind Shouyou, who practically jumped out of his skin. There were repeated thunks that came from the direction of the kitchen, and Shouyou was hesitant to investigate the sound. The teen slowly walked toward his kitchen, toward the loud grunts that turned into soul-shattering screams. Before Shouyou could enter the kitchen, there was a loud knocking on the front door. Shouyou was shoved into the wall, as his father pushed past him and to the door. Shouyou winced, rubbing his lower back and shoulders. The teen shivered. Shouyou had a bad feeling, as his dad pulled the front door open. Shouyou’s dad grunted, before he laughed sinisterly and opening the door wider.

Shouyou froze. Three other men entered his home. They were big and muscular. And Shouyou definitely didn’t trust those malicious smirks that stretched across their lips as they laid eyes on him. Shouyou flinched, turning his eyes to the ground. Somewhere in the back of his head, he knew that this was his punishment. The four men chattered and laughed for a moment. “Shouyou.” Said boy flinched again and caught the hazel eyes of his dad staring at him. “Get us some beers, will you?” The older ginger grunted, leading his friends into the living room. Shouyou bit his lip, quickly turning to the kitchen.

The teen opened the recently bought, stainless steel refrigerator. What was inside didn’t shock Shouyou. There was little to no food within the fridge. The shelves were stacked and tightly packed with different beers, both in the cans and in the bottles. Shouyou didn’t know what to grab, so he took four of the bottles that were closest. He shut the fridge with his shoulder, and scurried into the living room. He found his dad chatting loudly about something that Shouyou didn’t necessarily care about. So he tuned them out. Shouyou moved to the small living room table that sat caged in between three couches and the entertainment stand. The young high school student set the four bottle on the table, one in front of his father and each of the three other men.

“So I heard about your mom, kid.” Shouyou jumped at the voice that was suddenly addressing him. Shouyou turned ever so slowly toward the man behind him. Excluding his own father, this man was the tallest. When Shouyou fully faced the man with shaggy brown hair and a loose red t-shirt, Shouyou froze at how the man’s eyes darkened into something similar to lust. “Sorry to hear about that.”

“It’s fine..” Shouyou managed to mutter, turning away from the adult. The teen turned to exist his living room, hoping that his punishment would be forgotten since his father’s friends were over tonight.

“Don’t think I forgot about you, Shouyou.” The familiar gruff voice of the eldest Hinata rang. Shouyou stopped stiff, going rigid and a quick chill running down his spine. “You broke the rules again.” Shouyou’s dad continued. Suddenly, the ginger haired boy felt his father’s unforgettable presence directly behind him. “I keep warning you, and punishing you. Still, no matter how much I do that, you don’t seem to get the point. So, I asked some of my friends here to help me with your punishment.” Shouyou bit his lips and tears welled up in his eyes. He knew it after all. He knew he wasn’t lucky enough for his father to forget. Shouyou turned around to face the father he’s never known, who was towering over him.

Shouyou couldn’t even form words at this point. He tried his best to ask his father for forgiveness, but the words couldn’t make it past his lips. His vision blurred as his father moved away from his and three other figures took his place. Hands reached out, grabbing his arms, wrists, and hair. Whimpers were the only noise that escaped from Shouyou’s mouth. But even as his shirt was harshly torn from his body, all the ginger could hope for was that Natsu wouldn’t wake up. He didn’t want his sister to hear anything that happened tonight. “Wah.” A voice sighed, as fingers wrapped around Shouyou’s cheeks. “You have such a pretty face for a boy. You’re almost like a little girl.” The man chuckled. He was the shortest of the four men in the room, wearing a yellow tank top with some unreadable green print across the chest. “I can almost imagine you as a girl. A pretty little high school girl with those pretty pink lips around my cock.” At that, he pressed an open mouthed kiss to Shouyou’s lips. The ginger teen flinched and struggled against the man’s tight grip.

To Shouyou’s right was a groan, it had come from the last man of the three unexpected guests, with messy black hair and a white t-shirt. But Shouyou’s attention couldn’t be averted to him, as the man in the yellow tank top pushed his tongue into Shouyou’s mouth. Shouyou wanted to gag as the hot muscle pressed against the roof of his mouth and the insides of his cheeks. Two other pairs of hands roamed across Shouyou’s bare chest, brushing over his hardened nipples and his stomach. Each and every one of their hands were rough and calloused and much bigger than Shouyou’s own hands. They shamelessly groped and tugged, roaming their thick, stubby fingers over Shouyou’s pale skin. Tears pricked at the corners of the red headed boy’s brown colored eyes.

The body of the man in the red t-shirt pressed his chest to Shouyou’s back, nipping at the outer shell of the teen’s left ear. His breath was hot, and smelled rancid. Shouyou cringed, shutting his eyes tight. The man’s hands traveled up the boy’s body and pressed his fingers into the divots between Shouyou’s ribcage. His hands stopped to pull, pinch, and press on Shouyou’s nipples. The gingers squirmed. Another pair of hands--the man in white--felt their way down to the hem of Hinata’s sweats. “Look how hard you already are, kid.” The wretched man snickered, and forcefully tugged down the elastic of the pants. Shouyou was left in his boxers, but the paper towels that covered his cuts had fallen to the floor. And the man laughed loudly. “Look! The kid cut himself!”

Suddenly each of the strangers bellowed, their laughs bouncing off the walls. “Your son’s such a pussy!” The man in yellow cackled, looking back at the amber haired man that was lazily draped across his couch, pants down and stroking himself. The older Hinata snorted in acknowledgement.

“Awe, guys. You made the kid cry.” The man in red grabbed Shouyou’s tear streaked cheeks and tilted the teen’s head back. “Looks like we hurt the kid’s feelings.”

“Don’t worry boy. We’ll make you feel good in a sec.” The one in white spoke nonchalantly, as he stood up. “Get to your knees kid. Imma teach you how to give a proper blowjob.” The man in yellow grabbed Shouyou’s shoulder and pushed him down to his knees. Shouyou groaned, staring up at the three men with wide, fearful eyes.

“Damn, he’s pretty cute when he’s terrified.” One said and the others agreed. Without any warning, the one in white shoved his cock through Shouyou’s gasping, parted lips. The boy gagged around the thick girth of the dick in his mouth. And the tears started again. The man started thrusting roughly, grabbing the back of Shouyou’s head and pulling the teen into every thrust. “Fuck. So good.” The man in white groaned and tilted his head back, consumed by the pleasure.

“Fucker. Don’t keep all the fun to yourself.” The one in red complained, with a hard punch to the latter’s shoulder.

The one in yellow rolled his eyes and pulled Shouyou’s hips to stand. “You two can argue over the hole over there. I’ll be taking this.” He grinned, palms pressed flat against Shouyou’s ass. “Damn.” He pulled his right hand back and landed a harsh smack to the pale skin. Almost instantly, a red hue in the shape of a hand began to appear. Shouyou whined and groaned over the cock of the man in the red t-shirt. The man moaned loudly, pulling the ginger haired boy’s face closer and coming. The man in yellow continued to smack Shouyou with a wide, sadistic grin spread across his lips. Once he was satisfied by the bright red of Shouyou’s ass, he lined himself up and thrust forward in a quick motion.

Shouyou’s scream was muffled, but loud nonetheless.

“Shut the fuck up Shouyou!!” The boy’s father growled, hand still wrapped around himself. His piercing blue eyes were narrowed dangerously at Shouyou. But the teen didn’t notice, with his eyes clamped shut. The thrusts continued, fucking Shouyou into the man in front of him.

At that moment, Shouyou wanted to kill himself. He didn’t want to be alive anymore. If this was all that awaited him with each passing day, Shouyou didn’t want to be on Earth anymore. The only reason he was putting up with all of this was because of Natsu’s sake. He didn’t want his father, or these disgusting men laying their hands on his baby sister. But just for a second, Shouyou forgot about Natsu. He was suffering so much, that he forgot about his reason. All he wanted to do was kill himself. His mind was set on that.

Hinata Shouyou was done with being alive.

\-----

Shouyou had blacked out at some point. He didn’t remember much details of what happened--thank god. But he did remember the overall forbidden acts that taken place. He groaned when his body twitched. It was painful to move. The auburn haired child looked around the dark room; he was still in his living room, on the cold, hard floor. It was then that Shouyou felt the sticky liquid that he lie in, as well as covered him. It was disgusting. Shouyou moved his fingers. Then his arms. Until he could lift his upper body out of the mess beneath him.

He looked around his living room. It was dark and empty. His dad was nowhere to be seen, and neither were the other three. Shouyou thanked his lucky star. He didn’t want to deal with any other them wanting to go another several rounds. Shouyou looked at the clock on the wall, counting in his head. It was thirty minutes after midnight.

How long had he been passed out?

Shouyou didn’t bother trying to figure it out. Instead he struggled to pull himself up onto his feet. Shouyou whimpered at the excruciating pain that shot up his spine. He stumbled and dropped to his knee and a dull thump. Tears formed and blurred the dark room into a mass of murky colors. Shouyou had to bite his lip in order to keep the painful cries from escaping. He regulated his breathing, taking in one slow puff of air at a time. When Shouyou was confident that he could stand again without falling, he moved to support himself onto his hands. Then Shouyu lifted himself onto his feet. And as slowly as possible, Shouyou stood. The pain shot up his back again, but this time he was prepared and didn’t collapse.

Cold air blew past Shouyou’s bare body and he shivered. Not bothering with the mess of thick white liquid on the floor, Shouyou moved to the stairs. Slowly. Painfully. It was agonizing. It hurt so much that Shouyou had to do a number of breathing exercises in between each step. Eventually, though, the teen made it to the top of the stairs. He glanced toward his room. The door was shut and seemingly unbothered. Shouyou relaxed a bit. And as much as he wanted to really check and make sure that Natsu was okay, Shouyou made his way to the bathroom. He grabbed his towel and lightly wiped his body. The smell was unbearable and Shouyou had to crinkle his nose.

He tried to keep himself from looking in the mirror, but before he could stop himself, Shouyou had already met the eyes of his reflection. Shouyou clenched his jaw, wincing from the momentary pain. Bruises were everywhere. It wasn’t really surprising, but Shouyou blanched at the sight of himself. He was covered in black, green, and purple spots. The parts that weren’t bruised were a bright red color instead, probably from open-handed slapping or biting. Then there was his hair, stuck together in clumps from dried cum.

At that moment, Hinata craved the pain that he inflicted at the hospital. The sting in his hip had disappeared, covered up by the fact that his whole body was aching. Hinata craved to relish in that little moment of self control again. Almost like he was in a trance, Hinata dug around under the bathroom sink. He looked for anything sharp that could possibly help satisfy this odd craving. It took a minute, but all the way in the back of the cupboard was a pack of razors. Shouyou barely noticed the small smile that had stretched across his lips as he worked his way to stand again.

Before Shouyou could open the pack, there was a creaking of a door from down the hallway. Instantly Shouyou froze, thinking that it was his dad. “Nii-chan?” A tiny, tired voice whispered into the dark hall. Shouyou was relieved that it was only his sister. He poked his head out into the hallway, seeing Natsu stand in the doorway of his bedroom.

“It’s me, Natsu.” Shouyou announced in a hushed voice.

Natsu went to moved toward her older brother, but Shouyou was quick to stop her. “What’s wrong, Nii-chan?” The young girl frowned, jutting her bottom lip out.

“Nothing Natsu. I haven’t changed my clothes.” Shouyou answered carefully. “Can you bring me a new pair please?” Natsu tilted her head, before nodding. Her tiny figure disappeared back into Shouyou’s room. Shouyou backed away from the door and looked down at the pack of razors in his hands. The temptation was still there. Shouyou silently debated with himself. Instead he settled for opening the new pack and taking one to tuck away for later use.

Just as Shouyou had put the pack away, there was a quiet call of his name from just outside the bathroom door. Shouyou turned away from the razor that sat on the sink counter and cracked the door open. Natsu stood out in the dark hallway, eyes shut tight and her arms extended with Shouyou’s clothes in her grip. “After I’m done changing Natsu, let’s leave.” Shouyou suggested, taking his clothes. Natsu slowly opened her right eye, and peeked up at her older brother.

“Leave?” She whispered.

“Yeah.” Shouyou smiled softly. “Leave. Leave here.”

“To go where, Nii-chan?” The young child questioned.

“Anywhere, but here.” Shouyou had answered, before retreating to pull his clothes on.

\-----

Shouyou had done it.

He had left the house.

It was too late to turn back. Their house had long disappeared into the night. When Shouyou and Natsu had left, it had been almost one thirty in the morning. Both of the Hinata children had a backpack strapped to their backs, packed with bare necessities--like a few clothes and toiletries. Natsu had also taken the pictures she’d drawn for her mom and brother, along with two of her favorite toys that her two family member had bought for her.

Shouyou had no idea where he was leading his sister. He had no clue where to go. The two siblings were just walking. And with every step Shouyou took, it was like a giant weight lifting off of his shoulders. And at the same time, it was his legs threatening to buckle underneath him. With a pained sigh, Shouyou gripped Natsu’s hand tighter. “Are you sure you’re okay, Nii-chan?” The small girl asked her older brother. Shouyou gave her a tight lipped smile and waver her off, too busy concentrating on his breathing. “Should we stop?” Natsu tried again, but Shouyou shook his head. “Nii-chan.” The girl whined with worry lacing her voice.

“I’m fine Natsu.” Shouyou tried to reassure his sister, but the girl wasn’t having it.

Natsu started to cry. “No you’re not Nii-chan! You’re hurt!” She crossed her arms and stomped her feet. “You’re hurt because you’re always protecting me, nii-chan!”

Shouyou froze, staring down at his sister with eyes blown wide. “N-Natsu..” But the girl kept crying. She spoke words that became incoherent due to her loud bawling. “Hey, hey. It’s okay.” Shouyou struggled to kneel in front of his baby sister. He ran his fingers through her hair and hummed when she leaned into his touch. “I protect you because it’s my job as your big brother. Isn’t it?”

Natsu shook her head. “But you’re too hurt.”

Shouyou smiled. “Because I don’t want to see you hurt, Natsu.” Natsu wrapped her arms around her brother’s neck and sobbed into him. She whined and sputtered out pointless ‘I’m sorry’s, to which Shouyou responded by petting her hair and kissing her temple. He shushed her, until her crying quieted. Shouyou leaned back and grinned as best as he could. “Better?” he asked.

“Better.” Natsu gave a shaky smile and nodded her head.

“Good. Let’s get go--” Shouyou stopped midway and nausea flooded over him. His head started to hurt and his vision blurred in and out.

Then the world started tilting.

“Nii-chan!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update!! :( In return, I hope you all enjoyed the long chapter. More to come!! Be prepared!  
> Comment what you think please, and let me know how I'm doing. Also Comment what you think will happen next!  
> TY! TY! ;)


	8. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
>  Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harassment  
> (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)  
> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!

“Iwa-chan, it’s cold tonight. Don’t you think?”

“Shut up Shittykawa. Deal with it. You’re the one that woke me up and dragged me to the convenience store to go get some damn ramen at almost two in the fucking morning.”

“You’re so mean Iwa-chan.”

The two high school students from Aoba Josai walked down the street in the chilly night. Oikawa, the setter and current captain of the famous Aoba Josai volleyball team, shivered and pushed his shoulders up to his ears. A small white bag hung loosely around Oikawa’s right elbow. His companion, Iwaizumi, walked to the setter’s left and yawned. “Why the hell are you even up at this time Oikawa? Just because we have no practice tomorrow, doesn’t mean you can be pulling all nighters.”

“If I didn’t know any better Iwa-chan, I’d think you actually cared about me.” Oikawa snickered behind his hand. Iwaizumi scoffed and rose his hand in a feeble threat to hit the third year setter. “And I was reviewing volleyball videos. I kinda lost track of time, and I hadn’t eaten dinner yet.”

“And the first thing you do is wake me up?” Iwaizumi narrowed his brown eyes, while his childhood friend shrugged.

“Frankly, I’m surprised you even answered Iwa-chan.” Oikawa smiled softly in a rare moment of sincerity. “Thanks for coming out here with me.”

Iwaizumi shrugged his shoulders this time, “Whatever. Besides, if I didn’t, who know what you might do to some poor woman on the street.”

“MEAN!” Oikawa screeched at the ace. “I would never do something like that Iwa-chan!” The brunette haired setter continued to screech and whine, chasing after his friend.

“NII-CHAN!” A shrill scream shattered the light hearted teasing between the two third years from Aoba Josai. Iwaizumi and Oikawa froze, completely stopping in there tracks. The two friends looked at one another, as if to confirm with the other that they both heard the same thing. Soon after the surprising scream of what seemed to be a child, worried sobs and whines wafted the air.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi couldn’t help the sudden panic that began to swell in their chest. Who wouldn’t be panicked after hearing the heart wrenching cry? With another glance toward one another, Iwaizumi led the way and followed to sounds of the whining.

The two friends didn’t have to go very far, just down a couple blocks and around the corner. They froze at the sight they saw a few feet away. Just a few feet down the path was a body clumped to the floor and a small girl crying, while shaking their shoulders. “Nii-chan! Nii-chan!” She kept shaking the person’s shoulders.

“Hajime.” Oikawa called. It was rare that the brunette referred to his friend by his first name. So when Oikawa called out to him, Iwaizumi knew that the setter was serious. The ace nodded his head back, and the two slowly approached the crying child. “Little girl.” Oikawa called softly, stopping a foot away from the startled child. Now that he was closer, Oikawa saw the girl’s strikingly bright auburn locks and glowing gold eyes. It reminded him of someone. “Little girl. Are you okay? What happened?” Oikawa questioned softly, not breaking eye contact with the child.

“M-my nii-chan.” She sniffled through her sobs and coughs. “He..he’s hurt.”

“Hurt?” Iwaizumi muttered under his breath somewhere behind Oikawa.

“My name is Tooru, and this is my friend, Hajime.” Oikawa first motioned to himself, then to the ace that appeared to his right. “We want to help you and your nii-chan. Is that okay?” He asked carefully. The girl blinked through her bleary eyes and sniffled again.

She opened her mouth to say something. “You won’t hurt nii-chan?”

“We promise.” Iwaizumi spoke this time. His voice was in a quiet whisper and his eyes were soft.

The girl nodded her head and tried to give a shaky smile. “I’m Natsu.” She whispered. The two high school students took that as their cue to come forward. Oikawa moved besides the girl, petting her head and reassuring her that they’d be gentle with her brother. Iwaizumi bent over the unconscious figure and reached out. Seconds before touching the body, Iwaizumi froze. Something dropped at the bottom of his stomach. He had a bad feeling about this. With clenched teeth and a short exhale, Iwaizumi lifted the small body up and turned the person to face him.

“Oh shit.” Iwaizumi cursed. His eyes were wide, staring at the boy in his arms. The ginger hair was unmistakingly that of a small middle blocker from Karasuno. But at the same time, Iwaizumi was having a hard time believing that this small boy was that bright child from a rival school. This Hinata was pale, almost a deathly pale. His eyes were sunken in and circled by dark purple marks. Black bruises littered his jawline and down his neck. Iwaizumi didn’t even want to think what other wounds and marks could be beneath Hinata’s clothes. “Oikawa.” The wing spiker called.

Oikawa turned away from Natsu, who was cradled in his arms. “What is it--” The brunette couldn’t even finish his sentence, as Iwaizumi turned Hinata’s fragile frame toward him. “Ch-chibi-chan?” Oikawa gasped.

“You know nii-chan?” Natsu squirmed from Oikawa’s grip and looked up at the tall third year setter. “You’ll help him right?” Her eyes glossed over with tears at the thought of Oikawa and Iwaizumi leaving.

Oikawa whipped his head back down to the small girl. “No! No!” He pet Natsu’s soft ginger locks. “Of course we’re still going to help your brother.” He reassured, sending a nod to his friend. “We need to get a hold of Karasuno.”

“Yeah.” Iwaizumi agreed. He adjusted his grip on the unconscious first year, slipping his left arm under Hinata’s knees and his right under Hinata’s head. Hinata’s head lulled to the side. That alone seemed to scare Oikawa and Iwaizumi. It made it feel more real. Hinata really was injured. And they had found him passed out on the street and his little sister screaming. Not to mention it was two o’clock in the morning. What were they even doing out at this time? Iwaizumi shook his head to keep himself level headed. He couldn’t panic right now. “First we need to get Hinata and Natsu somewhere safe.”

“My place. It closer than yours.” Oikawa offered, picking up Natsu and resting her on his hip. The girl whimpered and tightly wrapped her arms around Oikawa’s neck. “Let’s head there and get a hold of Karasuno.”

The two nodded at each other in mutual understanding, and they ran back to Oikawa’s house.

\-----

It didn’t take long to reach the setter’s house. Just under five minutes, since they had ran.

Oikawa hurried to unlock the door and swung it open for Iwaizumi to carry Hinata inside. The two were completely uncaring for the door that harshly hit the wall, and the loud  _ thud _ that reverberated throughout the previously silent house. Iwaizumi moved past Oikawa and into the living room, while the latter slammed the door shut and rushed after the wing spiker. Iwaizumi kneeled down besides the couch and placed Hinata down as carefully as possible. The young boy was unaffected by his body being jostled.

“Is nii-chan okay?” Natsu whimpered, being placed down on the couch perpendicular to her brother. Her gold eyes were glassy with I shed tears and Oikawa moved away from her.

“We’ll check him right now, Natsu-chan.” The setter tried to smile as normally as possible.

“Tooru? What are you doing? What’s with all the noise?” A feminine voice came from the stairs. Oikawa sounds around, and went toward the older woman.

“Mom, a friend is hurt and unconscious. What do we do?” The third year teen asked. His mom worked at the hospital and had a lot of experience working in the Emergency Room. The woman’s eyes widened, the sleep suddenly gone.

“Hurt? Where?” She asked curtly, stepping beside her son. Oikawa motioned with his head toward Iwaizumi, who was knelt beside a long couch. The woman nodded her head and headed toward the boy she knew just as well as her own. “Hajime-kun.” She called, coming around the couch and kneeling beside the raven haired teen. “I’ll handle it.” Iwaizumi was hesitant, but moved aside for the experienced woman to take charge.

“Excuse me?” Oikawa’s mother was startled by the childish voice and the tiny hand that tugged on her shirt. “Will my brother be okay?” She turned her head and was met by Natsu’s rounded brown eyes and stunningly bright orange curls.

The woman smiled softly. “Are you his sister?”

Natsu hummed, “My name is Natsu.”

“Well then, Natsu. I’m sure your brother is just fine.” The older woman smiled ever so softly, as not to startle the girl. “I’m just going to make sure that he’s really okay and that he’ll wake up soon okay?” Natsu nodded her head and her curls bounced. “Are you hungry? Thirsty, Natsu?”

“Just a bit thirsty, ma’am.” The flaming haired girl muttered politely.

“Come with me Natsu-chan.” Oikawa called. “I’ll get you some juice.” Oikawa called the girl with a tight smile. Natsu took the older teen’s hand and walked with the setter into the neighboring room.

Oikawa’s mother turned back to the ginger haired boy that lie unconscious on her living room couch. Just by looking at him, she could tell that he was injured badly. But she couldn’t tell Natsu that. “Hajime-kun, help me pull his shirt off. I need to see the extent of the damage.” She spoke softly. Iwaizumi nodded his head and lifted Hinata’s torso off of the couch, while his best friend’s mom slipped the ginger’s shirt off. The two inhaled sharply at the sight that was revealed.

Hinata was nearly skin and bones. His ribs practically protruding through his black and blue skin. “What the fuck..” Iwaizumi cursed, setting Hinata’s head back onto the couch. “Who..Who would--?” The teen growled, clenching his fists and tightening his jaw. “Will he really be okay, Oikawa-san?”

The woman had never seen Iwaizumi look so helpless. He was always so head strong and bold. Now, he looked like a kid again. “I-I can’t tell the extent of the damage. We might need to take him to the hospital.” She paused to think for a second. “Do you know what happened to him?”

“No. We just heard Natsu screaming and found Hinata already unconscious on the floor.” Iwaizumi summarized. “We were thinking of calling his teammates. They’d probably know what’s happening.”

“Go do that then. I need to know what happened.” The woman ordered and Iwaizumi rushed off. “What in the world could a high school boy and his kid sister be doing out so late?” She whispered to herself.

Iwaizumi had just stepped into the kitchen. Oikawa was walking around the vicinity, bouncing a sleeping Natsu on his hip. “She okay?”

Oikawa jumped at the sound of his best friend’s voice. The brunette spun around. “Oh, Iwa-chan. You scared me. But yeah, I think Natsu-chan is okay. She’s really worried about Chibi-chan. How is he, by the way?”

“Not good. It’s worse than we thought.” Iwaizumi growled again at the thought of Hinata’s bruised body. “Your mom says we might need to take him to the hospital. But for now, she said we should try to get ahold of Karasuno. See if they know anything.”

“Okay. Let me take Natsu upstairs first.” Oikawa quickly retreated out the door and up the stairs. It took less than five minutes before the brunette returned with his cell phone in hand. “I have Sawamura’s number. We exchanged it after our first practice match with them, for the sake of future practice matches.” Oikawa scrolled through his contacts until he found the desired name. He pressed the ‘call’ button and put it on speaker.

The loud ring echoed throughout the silent kitchen once, then twice.

Then there was a drowsy answer.

“Hello?”

“Sawamura, it’s Oikawa.”

“Oikawa? Why are you calling at...three in the morning?” Daichi’s voice came through the phone.

“It’s important Sawamura. It’s about Chibi-chan.” Suddenly there was a bunch of noise on the other end of the line. Iwaizumi and Oikawa patiently waited.

“Hinata? What’s wrong?” Daichi asked. He sounded more alert. Oikawa and Iwaizumi couldn’t understand the sudden drop of his voice.

“Sawamura? It’s Iwaizumi.” The wing spiker said, taking Oikawa’s phone from the latter’s hand. Iwaizumi took a few moments to explain what happened over the course of the last couple hours. “Oikawa’s mom is checking Hinata right now. But she’s not sure about the damage and says that we might need to get him to the hospital. We were wondering if you knew anything.”

The other end was silent. It took a few minutes for Daichi to respond. “Promise me you’ll get Hinata whatever help he needs.”

“Of course.” The two students from Aoba Josai said in unison.

“I’ll speak with you guys in person. Let me know what hospital you’re going to.” Daichi said hurriedly. “I’ll gather some of my teammates and we’ll all speak.”

“Right.” Iwaizumi agreed. “We’ll see you soon, then.”

\-----

Frankly, this was a horrible way to start his Sunday.

Daichi had gotten an early morning call from Oikawa and Iwaizumi. He had been told that they currently have Hinata and his little sister. Hinata was hurt badly and Oikawa’s mother was taking them all to the hospital.

Daichi wasted no time in throwing on some sweats and a t-shirt. All the while, he started scrolling through his contacts to set up a group call. In this group call, Daichi was including Sugawara, Asahi, Kiyoko, Tsukishima, and Tanaka. Once all of the people were selected, Daichi put the call through. The dial rang a couple of times and one by one Daichi started hear the tired groans of his friends being woken up at an ungodly hour.   
“Daichi?” Sugawara yawned through the phone. “Why’re you calling me at this hour?”

“Daichi-san? Suga-san?” Tanaka groaned into the line.

“What’s going on guys?” Asahi spoke quietly into the speaker.

“Is there something wrong, Daichi?” Kiyoko’s voice broke through the anger murmurs of Daichi’s male friends.

“This better be good, Daichi-san. I don’t take kindly to being woken up our day off. Especially at three in the morning.” Tsukishima grumbled.

Once Daichi had confirmed that all of his friends were on, Daichi spoke. “Guys, this is an emergency. I just got off of the phone with Iwaizumi and Oikawa. They found Hinata unconscious outside while on their way home a couple of hours ago.” Daichi paused at the numerous gasps. “They’re taking him, and his little sister to the hospital right now. His injuries are bad, from what they said. Worse than before, I’m guessing. If you all can, I’d like you guys to meet up at the hospital right now.”

“Of course. I’ll be leaving my house soon.” Sugawara spoke first. There was a bunch of noise coming from his end of the call line.

“Is he okay?” Asahi questioned. “You said that Oikawa and Iwaizumi found Hinata passed out outside? Why would he be outside, especially around one in the morning?”

Daichi frowned at the questions. Mostly because he wasn’t sure and he wanted those questions answered himself as well. “I don’t know Asahi. But I’m on close to the hospital now, and I’ll be meeting with Oikawa soon.”

“You don’t think this has something to do with his dad?” Kiyoko hesitated to contribute. She hoped she was wrong. “We may not have any solid evidence, but we’re all confirming the same thing. Hinata’s being abused.”

“D-Daichi-san?” Tanaka spoke quietly. “I’ve got something to say. It’s even more worrying, now that I’m thinking about it.”

“What’s wrong Tanaka?” Daichi paused in his hastened jog to the hospital. The guilt underlining Tanaka’s voice was worrying.

Tanaka was silent for another second before speaking. “I went out last night, maybe around seven or eight. I heard these three guys in the convenience store by my house say Hinata’s name. But they weren’t talking about our Hinata. I think they were talking about his dad..”   


“What’d they say?” Sugawara’s voice reappeared.

“They said some disturbing stuff...Explicit and inappropriate things.” Tanaka’s voice cracked, as the male shuddered. He let out a breathy sigh. “I was worried, so I followed them and even got some pictures of them just in case. They...they went to Hinata’s house.” There was a long minute of silence. No one said anything. “God, I-I should’ve done something. What-what if they...Oh god.” Tanaka’s slow breathing quickened into sharp gasps.

“Tanaka calm down.” Sugawara tried to soothe the second year as much as he could through the phone. “Tanaka.” He called. “Tanaka. It’s okay.”

“But S-Suga-san, I--”

“It’s fine.” Sugawara reassured. “Just keep those pictures on your phone. Later on, Asahi and I will go with you to that convenience store to see if we could check out the security cameras.”

“Sugawara’s right. Keep those. It’s the only solid evidence we have right now.” Daichi added. “I’m at the hospital.”

“I’m here. I see you Daichi-san.” Tsukishima voice echoed through the line, as well as through Daichi’s line. “I’m hanging up.”

“I’m almost there too.” Kiyoko stated.

“Me too.” Sugawara added.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Asahi spoke.

“I’ll be there in five.” Tanaka ended.

And the calls all disconnected.

\-----

Shouyou was in pain. Everything hurt. His head, neck, chest, stomach, spine, legs. His _ass_.

It all hurt.

The first year tried to open his eyes and to relieve himself of the darkness that surrounded him. It was hard though. It felt as if his eyelids were glued shut. All he could really do was squeeze his eyes tighter together. But Shouyou didn’t give up in trying to open his eyes.

When he finally got them open, it was bright. Too bright. The light he was staring at hurt. It felt like we was blind. But then the lights dimmed, and Shouyou could see. He was staring up at a white ceiling, with the bright LED lights dimmed down for him. Shouyou scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion. Where was he?

Shouyou was more than positive he’d left home. Obviously he wasn’t in his room though, because his room didn’t have ceiling lights. His room had always been illuminated by a floor lamp and his desk lamp. Shouyou opened his mouth to try and say something, but a noise made him snap his mouth shut. He turned his head and saw a person rising up from a seat beside the bed he was in. They got closer and Shouyou wanted to jump away.

“Hinata.” It was Oikawa. The Grand King. Kageyama’s rival. What was he doing here? Wherever ‘here’ was. “Thank god, you’re awake. Natsu was throwing a fit, and my mom finally got her to sleep.” The older setter smiled softly.

Shouyou blinked. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Shouyou had started coughing instead. The coughing hurt. It burned a hole in Shouyou’s chest and spread to his stomach. Every muscle in his sore body tensed up and it hurt. The ginger’s eyes glazed over in painful tears. Oikawa reached over, lifting Shouyou into a seating position, and rubbed slow circles into the younger teen’s back. Shouyou let him because the motion was soothing.

After Shouyou’s coughing fit had passed, Oikawa offered the former a small paper cup filled with water. Shouyou took it gratefully with shaking hands. Just to be sure that Shouyou didn’t spill any other the water, Oikawa’s hand followed the cup to the younger boy’s mouth. Shouyou gulped down the water greedily. “Thank you, Oikawa-san.” Shouyou murmured.

Oikawa smiled softly back. “You’re welcome.”

“You mentioned Natsu. Where is she?” Shouyou questioned. “What happened? Also, where am I?” The words came out slow and confused.

“You’re at the hospital Hinata.” Oikawa started with a frown. “Natsu is with my mom. She drove you here and she just took your sister back to the car so the kid can sleep for a bit. As for what happened, I was hoping you could tell me that.” Shouyou frowned back, turning his eyes away from the older teen. “Hinata.” Oikawa called seriously. “We found you passed out on the street at almost two in the morning. What happened?”

“I-” Hinata whimpered, but was cut off by the door to his room opening.

“Stop patronizing the poor kid, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi reprimanded. “Hinata just woke up.” The wing spiker turned his eyes to the ginger haired child in the hospital bed. “Glad to finally see you up Hinata. Your friends are waiting out in the hallway to speak with you, if you’re up for it.”

“Wh-who?” Shouyou was scared to ask.   
“Sawamura, Sugawara, the bearded guy, the baldy, Megane, and your manager.” Iwaizumi listed off. And Shouyou stiffened at that. Those were the people he especially did not want to see because it wouldn’t be hard for them to piece everything together. They were all smart, well Tanaka when it counted.

Shouyou could feel his chest tighten and his breathing hasten. His head spun and the room tilted into an array of muddled colors. Shouyou couldn’t breath again. His left hands clenched tightly around the hospital bedsheets, while the other hands closed around the hospital gown that encased Shouyou’s chest. His mouth opened wide in a desperate attempt to get air into his lungs. Through bleary eyes and muddy colors, Shouyou saw more people come into the room. A face leaned in close to him, and it was one that Shouyou recognized. Their lips moved and a hand gripped Shouyou’s shoulder. But Shouyou couldn’t hear what they were saying.

It was all white noise.

“C-can’t..can’t” Shouyou gasped, and shook his head. He brought his left hand to his chest and clutched the fabric there, right along with his dominant hand. “Can’t!”

“Hinata. Calm down.” Asahi’s voice finally broke through an invisible barrier separating him from Shouyou. “You can. You can breath.” His deep voice soothed slowly. “Try to match my breathing.” The instructions were simple, and Shouyou should have been able to do it easily. But for some reason it wasn’t working. The boy shook his head and he felt the tears finally pooling over his cheeks. The noise disappeared again and Shouyou was left to watch as even more people came into his room. He felt claustrophobic. The room was closing in on him. His breathing picked up speed again, and Shoyou was dizzy.

Pairs of hands were on him and something slipped over his head. Whatever it was, it was working. The air was entering Shouyou’s system again. It was getting easier and easier to breathe. The room started to return to its normal shape and Shouyou realized that there weren’t that many people in his room. Only Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Sugawara, Asahi, and a nurse. Asahi was sitting directly in front of Shouyou, a hand on the ginger’s shoulder. The nurse was to Hinata’s left, blinking at his and asking him things that Shouyou couldn’t even process at the moment. Sugawara was to the right of Shouyou, standing frozen by the door with Iwaizumi. Oikawa was to the left, by the room’s window and behind the nurse.

Each one of their faces were laced with worry, an expression that Shouyou despised. “I’m okay.” He whispered out, turning his eyes to his hands on his lap. There was a collective sigh that went around the room. Shouyou could vaguely hear Sugawara leaning out the door to relay the news to the others in the hallway.

“Are you sure Hinata?” Asahi frowned. “Don’t force yourself, okay?”

Shouyou offered the best smile he could to the third year and nodded his head. “Well Shittykawa and I will leave to get some food. Come on.” Iwaizumi muttered lowly, dismissing himself and Oikawa from the room.

“Can I bring the others in Hinata?” Sugawara asked tentatively. Shouyou was hesitant to have any more visitors, but he gave a reluctant nod of his head. The ashen haired third year smiled ever so slightly, and turned back to the door.

Asahi cleared his throat to get Shouyou’s attention once more. “If anything gets to be too much for you, just let us know and we’ll stop. We’ll leave too, if that’s what you want.” Shouyou nodded his head to confirm that he understood.

Daichi, Tsukishima, Tanaka, and Kiyoko stepped into the medium sized hospital room. Slowly they made their way to Shouyou’s bed, and stopping at the end. Their faces were clearly worried, but none of them had said anything. The room was oddly silent. Not really awkward, but tense. “So, Hinata.” Daichi began. “Are you okay?”

“I’m not really sure…” Shouyou muttered back in the quiet voice that they were becoming accustomed to. “I haven’t spoken to a doctor or anything, since I just woke up. But I feel sore.”

“Hinata. I wanted to ask and I’m sure the others want to know too.” Sugawara chose his words carefully. “What were you and your sister doing outside at two in the morning?”

Shouyou’s body stiffened, and everyone had noticed. The boy’s brown eyes shifted from the older setter to the window to his left, and down to his lap again. “I--We left home.” The words came out so quietly that only Asahi--whom was still seated at the edge of the hospital bed--had heard it.

“Left home?” Asahi reiterated. “Why is that?”

The ginger haired blanched, squinting his eyes. “Home is not home.” he muttered, turning away.

“Be more specific, idiot.” Tsukishima growled and gripped the rail at the end of the bed.

“Oi, Tsukishima.” Daichi warned the first year.

Tsukishima, of course, didn’t heed the warning though. “If you won’t tell us Hinata, then why don’t I tell you what we think is going on.” The words were curt and to the point. They weren’t exactly hostile. More like frustrated. Shouyou didn’t have any time to respond. “First, I told them what you told me. About your dad.” Shouyou’s eyes widened. “It was for your own good, and frankly I don’t regret telling them. Because they were already assuming that you were getting abused. Shimizu-san saw your dad carrying a beer bottle Thursday night. Daichi-san picked up how slurred his voice was when you called him Wednesday night. Hell, Tanaka-san saw three creeps go into your house last night.” Tsukishima listed off in a frantic rage. “Don’t you dare make up some bullshit lie.” The blonde growled.

Shouyou had stopped listening to Tsukishima long before the latter started ranting. Because Tsukishima had told them. He told them about his dad hitting him. Tsukishima betrayed Shouyou’s trust. “H-Hinata?” Asahi waved his hand in front of the boy’s face.

Before anyone could say anything after Tsukishima’s rant, Hinata started to cry. There were sounds of surprise that came from around the auburn haired teen. Sugawara rushed to Shouyou’s side, and pulling the first year into his chest. “Shh, Shouyou. Shh.” He cooed softly.

“I-I’m sorry!” Shouyou whined, burying himself into the ashen haired teen’s hold.

“Wh-What are you apologizing for Hinata!” Tanaka squaked, he forced Tsukishima to bow his head. “This guy should be apologizing! Apologize Tsukishima!” Tanaka frowned at the blonde.

Shouyou shook his head in between muffled cries. “I t-tried to stop it. I tried to stop everything!” Shouyou wailed. “It was to protect Natsu, so he wouldn’t touch her. I was just trying to protect her. And-and, he started hitting and drinking and the-the drugs. I wouldn’t let him touch her.” Shouyou stuttered out incoherently. The other’s went quiet at the sloppy confession. “Then he started d-doing other things and--” Shouyou was petrified, clinging onto Sugawara for dear life.

After that Shouyou’s words became less and less coherent. Until the boy had cried himself to sleep from exhaustion. But Shouyou didn’t need to say anything else. Those few sentences were all the group needed to confirm everything. Shouyou was being abused by his dad, who had apparently did way more than just hit the poor child.

\-----

Daichi was pissed. He knew things were bad, but he wasn’t aware just how bad things actually were. They were so much worse than he had initially thought. He was currently sitting in Shouyou’s hospital room, in one of the chairs along the room’s window. Everyone was pretty much spread out. Kiyoko was on a chair besides him. Tanaka was huddled against the wall under the TV, where he tried to get some sleep. Tsukishima was at Tanaka’s feet, head against the wall and headphones over his ears. Asahi had left to go to the restroom. Sugawara was lying on the bed with Shouyou tucked under his chin. Oikawa and Iwaizumi sat in another pair of chairs that were near the room’s door, and a ginger haired girl clinging to Oikawa.

Daichi’s eyes travelled back to Shouyou and Sugawara, specifically the former of the two. Shouyou looked--to put it simply--awful. The boy’s cheeks and nose were a bright red from crying. Tears dried on his skin and clumped together his eye lashes. Sugawara was slowly rubbing the ginger’s hair, and every now and then, the ashen haired teen would utter soothing words whenever Shouyou twitched. Daichi couldn’t believe what his poor junior had went through.

Not long ago, Oikawa’s mother had come into the room to check on Shouyou--who was already long asleep. She had come in with Shouyou’s little sister, Natsu. The little girl had run straight to Oikawa, latching onto him and spouting out worried questions. She was more worried about her brother than anyone. Soon, Natsu had cried herself to sleep on Oikawa’s lap. Oikawa mother had looked at each one of the boys in the room with solemn eyes, and she opened her mouth to speak. What she had told everyone was painful.

_ “Hinata-kun’s mother had passed away in this hospital yesterday morning. The doctor said that his dad had come to get Hinata-kun and Natsu, but nothing seemed off about him.” _

Over the week, so much had happened to Shouyou. He was so lost and confused and scared and  _ in pain _ .

Daichi wished that this hadn’t happened to him. To anyone. But least of all, Shouyou. The first year was brighter than the sun itself. Hearing that he was going through all of this pain, was a nightmare. If Daichi could take away the pain, he would have a long time ago.

Everyone in the room snapped their heads towards the door, as a knock came from the other side of it. Oikawa briefly met eyes with Daichi, and the latter nodded his head. The brunette haired setter handed off Natsu to Iwaizumi, and stood to get the door. Oikawa turned the handle and poked his head out the door. Daichi couldn’t hear, nor see, who Oikawa was speaking to. But the third year from Aoba Josai opened the door to let the person inside.

Stepping inside the room were two police officers, one man and one woman. They were followed inside by Oikawa’s mother. “I’m officer Hanazaki, and this is officer Kimura. We’ll be investigating Hinata-kun’s case. If it’s okay, we’d like to speak with him.” The man spoke slowly, meeting eyes with everyone in the room. “Then, we’d like to speak to you all individually to collect more information.”

Daichi felt the relief that filled the air in the room.

He was glad that something was finally going to be done.


	9. Pretty Little Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
>  Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harassment  
>  (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)  
>  !TRIGGER WARNINGS!

Shouyou was lightly shaken from his slumber. He opened his eyes to see Sugawara, offering a small smile. Shouyou blinked a couple times to rid himself of sleep. The ashen haired third year wrapped his arms around Shouyou in order to help the latter sit up. Shouyou couldn’t help that he was putting all of his waiting into his upperclassman’s side. Sugawara didn’t seem to mind it anyway. “Shouyou, wake up.” Sugawara carefully ushered his junior.

 

“Suga-san?” Shouyou glanced at the third year, who nodded to someone in front of them. The first year turned to look at whatever Sugawara was motioning to. Standing at the edge of the bed were two police officers. They wore their full uniform, including their belt of both dangerous and non-dangerous accessories. It took a minute to process what was going on and why these people were here. Shouyou went rigid, moving closer to Sugawara. The latter cooed at the teen.

 

“Hinata-kun?” The male officer spoke lowly. “My name is officer Hanazaki. My partner here, is officer Kimura.” Shouyou furrowed his brows, looking in between the two officers, then at Sugawara, and finally to everyone else in the room. “We’d like to talk to you, if that’s okay.” Officer Hanazaki stated, watching Shouyou closely for anything that might seem like a negative reaction. So far there was nothing.

 

“C-can I keep Sugawara-san here?” Shouyou’s voice was small, and unsure. He kept looking up at Sugawara with big, pleading eyes.

 

“Of course.” The female officer, Kimura, nodded her head with a sympathetic smile adorning her features. She, then, turned to the rest of the high schoolers in the room. “If you could all wait in the lobby, until we are finished.” She questioned. The others were skeptical to leave. After how much the little middle blocker had been through, they didn’t want to let him out of their sights. The only reason that they were able to leave, was because Sugawara was with Shouyou.

 

The door was closed behind Tanaka, who glanced back at Shouyou one more time before he left. Sugawara stayed planted on the bed beside the ginger. Each of the two officers pulled up a chair besides Shouyou’s bed. They were far enough so that the boy didn’t feel overwhelmed, but close enough to effectively discuss things back and forth. Sugawara whispered into his junior’s ear. “It’ll be okay. Take your time.”

 

“Are you ready, Hinata-kun?” Hanazaki asked, glancing at Shouyou, then Sugawara and back. Shouyou took a couple of deep breaths and nodded his head. “Okay. First, I’d like to let you know that for the sake of evidence, this conversation will be recorded. No one else will be hearing this conversation except me, Kimura, and the court judge. Is that okay?”

 

“Y-yes.” Shouyou said, but his voice quivered and his breathing quickened again. Sugawara held Shouyou close.

 

“Okay, we’ll take it slow then.” Hanazaki stated, glancing at his partner. Kimura had already pulled out a recorder from her belt and had set it up. She nodded, and Hanazaki turned back to Shouyou. “First of all, I’d like to ask why you and your little sister were out at two in the morning. Please explain in detail and don’t leave anything out. You may take as long as you need to answer.”

 

Shouyou squeezed his eyes shut, relishing in the fact that Sugawara was at his side and that he was in a safe place now. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Shouyou opened his eyes, and looked toward the two officers. “W-we left the house..to..t-to get away from him.”

 

“Who is ‘him,’ Hinata-kun?” Kimura questioned.

 

“O-our dad.”

 

“What did he do that you had to get away from him?” Hanazaki spoke up again.

 

Shouyou’s breath hitched and he squeezed Sugawara’s hand. The latter squeezed back to reassure that Shouyou was okay. “H-he did things..” Shouyou was being vague. He knew he was, but he felt that he’d be basically reliving what he’d been through if he reiterated his experiences.   
  
“Hinata-kun. Please explain in detail.” Hanazaki said slowly. “Again, take your time.”

 

Sugawara worked calm the first year down. He resorted to soothing words and gentle rubs up and down between Shouyou’s shoulder blades. The middle blocker leaned into his touch. “My d-dad drank. A-a lot. Did drugs sometimes, t-too. He would get mad at m-me and Natsu if we came here to visit our mom. He’d h-hit me. Th-threaten to h-hit Natsu too, i-if I didn’t...if I didn’t listen to him.” Sugawara clenched his teeth together tightly, and shuffling Shouyou closer to him.

 

“Anything else, Hinata-kun?” Kimura asked, looking down to check that the recording device was still operating.

 

Shouyou paused to blink back the tears that started to form behind his eyes. Hanazaki and Kimura waited patiently for the boy to speak. His breathing changed again, speeding up. The silver haired teen besides him pulled the young teen into his chest. “Shh, Shouyou.” He hushed in low whispers. “You’re okay.” He repeated again.

 

They room was silent for another few minutes, until Shouyou pulled away from his upperclassman’s chest. “Last night..he,  _ they _ \-- _ they _ touched me.”

 

His voice was so quiet. So laced with pain and fear. Sugawara swears he heard his heart break. The room was completely and utterly silent. No one spoke a word as the auburn haired first year started to cry into Sugawara’s chest. The third year felt his own tears pooling at the edge of his eyes. He turned his nose into Shouyou’s soft hair and gripped his junior closer, to the point that the latter was basically in the former’s lap. “Oh Shouyou.” Sugawara cried with the first year. “Shh. Y-you’re safe.” Voice cracked and tears spilt.

 

“I-I’m sorry that happened, Hinata-kun.” Hanazaki sympathized. The group of four took another few minutes so that Shouyou could regather himself--well as much as one could when they’re physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. “May we continue, Hinata-kun?” Hanazaki started to ask. There was only a minor nod from Shouyou.

 

“May we wrap this up soon?” Sugawara looked up from the teen in his grasp. “I don’t want Shouyou to stress out.”

 

Kimura spoke first, “Of course. Just a couple more questions.”

 

“I noticed you used the word ‘they’ when answering the last question.” Hanazaki pointed out. “Who is ‘they’?”

 

Shouyou blearily looked up from Sugawara’s chest and glanced at the two police officers. “F-friends..of him.” He whispered softly. Shouyou blinked slowly and looked back at his senior. “Done?”

 

Sugawara nodded his head. “Yeah.” The third year turned his attention to the two adults. “I’m sorry. Shouyou’s not up for anymore questions.”

 

“I understand. The poor kid has been through a lot.” Hanazaki bobbed his head. “But please understand what I’m about to ask of Hinata-kun next.” Sugawara narrowed his eyes when the man said that there would be a final question. “In order to put his father and his friends into jail, we need evidence that they hurt HInata-kun. We’d like to take pictures of his body before they fade.”

 

“Y-you can’t.” Sugawara furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“I understand that this is a sensitive thing, but please.” Kimura frowned. “If we don’t have evidence, then we might lose the case. If that happened Hinata-kun and his sister will have to back home to him.”

 

Hanazaki stared at protective third year that cradled the dozing off Shouyou. “Of course we’ll comply if Hinata-kun really doesn’t want to take the pictures. But this is all to prevent that he doesn’t have to go back to an abusive home.”

 

“Can I talk to him first?” Sugawara spoke hesitantly. “I want to make sure he understands.”

 

The two police officers nodded. “We’ll be waiting for his answer out in the hallway.” Kimura said, as Hanazaki was already making his exit.

 

When the two adults left, Sugawara lightly shook Shouyou awake. “Shouyou. Open your eyes Shouyou. I have to talk to you about something that’s very important.” Shouyou blinked slowly, and reached up to rub his eyes. “I know you’re tired Shouyou. Just a little longer, okay?”

 

Shouyou finally opened his eyes. “What’s wrong Suga-san?” His voice was heavy with exhaustion. Sugawara just wanted to let the poor child sleep and forget about everything already. It must be exhausting going through all this, especially after a night like Shouyou had.

 

“Shouyou. I need you to listen very carefully, okay?” The aforementioned boy waited for Sugawara to continue. Shouyou’s brown eyes were half lidded, but widened every few seconds to try to stay awake. “You want to leave this man right? So you and Natsu-chan can be safe?”

 

“Of course.” Shouyou whispered.

 

“Then you know that there has to be a court trial to determine whether your dad really did was he did and to determine how long he’s put away for.” Shouyou hummed to signify that he was still listening. “But they can’t put him away if they don’t have evidence.”

 

“I know that Suga-san.” Shouyou informed.

 

“I know you know.” The third year chuckled, running his hand through ginger locks. “But right now there is no evidence.”

 

Shouyou shot up at that, suddenly awake. “I-I have to go ba-back!?” Before Shouyou could put himself through another panic attack, Sugawara grabbed the boy’s hands and shook his head.

 

“No! No, Shouyou.” Sugawara stated firmly. “You are  _ not _ going back there.  _ Ever _ . Not you. Not your sister.”

 

“B-but if there’s no evidence..” Shouyou trailed off with downcast eyes.

 

“The officers want to..” The third year hesitated, and Shouyou waited expectantly. “They want to take pictures...Of your body..Before the bruises fade.”

 

With every word, Shouyou’s grip on his seniors hands tightened. His eyes grew even widen, if possible. “Bu-t, I-I can’t.” He sobbed. “Th-they’ll see the ugly marks.”

 

Sugawara cursed under his breath. He pulled Shouyou back into his chest. “I know Shouyou. I know. But if there aren’t any pictures, then you and Natsu have to go back to that horrible man.” He whispered into the younger teen’s hair.

 

“C-can you stay with me..” Shouyou whined into the elder’s chest. “I-if I do it?”

 

“Of course. I won’t be leaving anytime soon.” Sugawara hugged Shouyou for another minute, before pulling back. “I’m going to tell the officers you agreed to it, okay? I’ll be right outside the door.” Shouyou seemed to stiffen when his senior said that he’d be leaving. “I’ll be right outside. I promise I won’t leave. Okay?” Shouyou was hesitant to let Sugawara go, as the latter stood up from the bed.

 

\-----

 

After the two police officers came to ask Shouyou questions, Daichi and the others were asked to leave the ginger’s hospital room. Asahi had come back from the bathroom soon after, asking why everyone was waiting outside. Tanaka explained. The other’s took this time to do things. Tsukishima went to get food and drinks. Kiyoko offered to go with the first year to the convenience store that was down the street from the hospital. No one really wanted to eat hospital food. Tanaka continued to speak with Asahi about who knows what. Oikawa took Natsu to his mom, with Iwaizumi following because he had nothing better to do. Sugawara was in the room with Shouyou and the officers. And that left Daichi to stand alone, leaning against the wall.

 

Usually, Daichi would think about everything that was going on, but what was there to think? He was pissed off. Livid. He wanted Hinata’s dad and those guys Tanaka told them all about in jail. If he was being honest, Daichi wanted them dead. Gone from this world so they couldn’t hurt anyone else. The others surely felt the same. It wasn’t a secret.

 

The brunette haired captain sighed, running a hand over his face. He was tired. They all were. It was just reaching around seven in the morning. It’s been four hours that they’ve all spent at the hospital, since Oikawa and Iwaizumi called him. Daichi pulled his phone from his pocket at went through the contacts.

 

He should call the others. Ukai and Takeda especially.

 

Daichi looked up at Asahi and Tanaka. “I’m going to call the others. Let them know what’s going on.” He motioned to the cellular device in his hands. The other two nodded, and going back to their conversation with grim expressions.

 

The third year turned down the hall, to the elevators. It took his ten minutes to get down the elevator and through the large hospital’s lobby. He exited at the front, while looking for Takeda’s number. He would just text in the group chat, but this situation didn’t seem appropriate to inform through text. Daichi clicked on the call button, just as he sat down on a bench outside the hospital’s doors. The phone rang twice before there was an answer. “Hello, Sawamura-kun?” Takeda’s voice rang through Daichi’s small speakers.

  
“Takeda-sensei...Listen--”

 

\-----

 

Takeda rushed down the stairs of his home. His hair was tangled and his glasses askew upon his nose. The white t-shirt he had just thrown on was aligned with wrinkles, and his green tracksuit jacket hung carelessly off his shoulders. Takeda grabbed his keys while passing through his hallway to get to the door. He leaned down to hurriedly slip his shoes on. The young teacher stumbled out his front door, nearly tripping down the couple steps that led to his driveway. With a quick twist and the quiet clicking of the door being locked, Takeda all but jumped into his car. As he backed out of his driveway, Takeda couldn’t help the fear that swelled in his chest. He replayed the conversation that he had with Daichi.

 

\-----

 

_ Takeda woke up early this sunday morning. He turned to check the time on his clock. The bright red, digital numbers read 6:30am. The young English teacher sighed, stretching his hands above his head and letting out a loud yawn. Takeda stood from his bed, taking his phone and glasses, before heading downstairs for breakfast. _

 

_ When the teacher entered his kitchen, he gave a sigh at the pile of papers that sat upon his kitchen table. He still had papers to grade after all. He needed to start entering grades too, since the halfway point in the school year was coming up soon. He sighed again, lifting his right hand to fix the glasses that slipped down the bridge of his nose. Takeda turned toward his fridge to pull out leftovers from last night's dinner. He transferred food into a bowl and set it into the microwave. _

 

_ A yawn left his lips and tears blurred the corner of Takeda’s eyes, when his phone vibrated against his kitchen countertops. Takeda blindly reached for his device. He blinked the blurriness away in order to see the caller id on his phone’s screen. The teacher furrowed his eyebrows at the name that appeared. “Hello, Sawamura-kun?” Takeda questioned. It was unusual that the third year student would call him on a Sunday morning. In fact, it’s never happened before. _

 

_ “Takeda-sensei...Listen—“ Daichi’s voice was soft and quiet. Takeda guessed that the young adult hadn’t slept well. “There’s something that I thought you should know. It’s really important.” _

 

_ “Of course Sawamura-kun.” Takeda spoke softly back, silently saying that he’d listen carefully. _

 

_ There was a hesitant breath on the other end. “It’s about Hinata.” Daichi sighed. Takeda didn’t interrupt, waiting and listening carefully as his student explained. “Hinata is in the hospital right now. Me, Sugawara, Tanaka, Asahi, Kiyoko, and Tsukishima are here with him. Oikawa and Iwaizumi from Aoba Josai found Hinata and his little sister outside last night. Hinata was unconscious and hurt badly. Oikawa’s mom took Hinata and his sister to the hospital, checking in around 2:45 this morning. Me and the others got here around three. And I thought I’d call you, Ukai-san, and the other to let you all know. I still have to call them though..” _

 

_ Takeda felt the air rush out of his chest, processing everything that the young third year student had relayed to him. His first year student was in the hospital. Hinata was in the hospital. Injured. Takeda’s brown eyes widened and he shot up. Frantically he rushed up the stairs. “O-okay! I’ll be there soon Sawamura-kun! I’ll let Ukai-san know too, just call the rest of the team okay? Thank you for letting me know. Please explain the rest when I arrive.” _

 

_ “Okay, Takeda-sensei.” Daichi replied in a tone so quiet that Takeda almost missed it. Nothing else was said and Takeda hung up. In a frantic rush up to his room, Takeda searched his contacts for the volleyball team’s coach. Coming upon the coach’s name, Takeda smashed the green call button with his thumb and crashed through his bedroom door at the same time. He rose the device to his ear and awaited through the painstakingly long rings.  _

 

_ In his haste to get dressed, the ringing stopped and a tired yawn came through small speaker. “Takeda-senses?” Ukai’s voice spoke. “Is there something you—“ _

 

_ “UKAI-SAN!!” Takeda screamed frantically. There was a crash on the other side, but Takeda had no time to pay any mind to it. “There’s been an accident! I’m going to pick you up right now. We need to get to Sendai City Hospital! Get ready! I’ll be there in ten. I’ll explain then.” Ukai was in the middle of making an intelligible noise when Takeda hung up. _

 

_ —— _

 

Takeda pulled up to the Sakanoshita store, where Ukai was pacing out front. The young coach’s blonde hair was down and tangled, instead of being pulled back by his usual headband. Ukai spun around on his heels so fast that Takeda swore the young coach got whiplash. He lead to the side, opening his passenger side door and Ukai jumped inside the car. “What the hell is going on Takeda-sensei?” The blonde man scowled.

 

Moving the car back into drive, Takeda pulled forward and away from the small store. He shook his head and sighed. “Sawamura-kun called me. Hinata-kun is in the hospital.”

 

“What?” Ukai’s eyes were blown wide. He stared at the third year English teacher, who solely focused on the road ahead. “Wh-what happened?”

 

Takeda sighed, shaking his head. “Not sure. I was told that Hinata-kun and his sister were found outside earlier this morning by some students from the Aoba Josai volleyball team. Hinata-kun sustained injuries worse than what we last saw, from what Sawamura-kun said.” The teacher briefed, as the Sendai City Hospital came into view.

 

——

 

Daichi just got off the phone with Takeda-sensei. The third year rubbed his hand over his face, and let out a loud drawn out sigh. At least he didn’t have to talk to Ukai. But that left him to talk to the rest of his team. That was probably the hardest thing. Especially informing Kageyama, who was Hinata’s best friend. He was the one that wanted to do something the most, but knew the least. And Daichi felt bad about that. He bit his lip and started calling the rest of his teammates, starting with Kageyama.

 

Daichi felt even more nervous calling Kageyama. The ringing made his stomach twist into a tight knot. There was no way that Kageyama was going to take this news kindly and calmly. It was bad enough that Tsukishima lashed out at Hinata earlier. Kageyama would give Hinata hell. The ringing suddenly stopped and there was a pause. Then the first year setter’s voice was heard panting on the other end. “Morning Daichi-san.” Kageyama finally got out after catching his breath.

 

“Kageyama?” Daichi questioned. “Did you just run?”

 

“Yeah. I run every Sunday morning.” The setter responded casually. “Why the sudden call?”

 

Daichi’s breath caught in his throat. “It’s Hinata.” Before Daichi could explain, Kageyama cut him off.

 

“Where?” His voice was dead serious. All signs of exhaustion gone.

 

“Sendai City Hospital.” Daichi breathed.

 

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” Kageyama stated surely, and hung up. Daichi blinked at his phone. His junior seemed calm, but Daichi knew better than that. Kageyama was panicked, worried. He was frightened for his best friend, who was currently in the hospital.

 

Daichi hurriedly called the rest of him team. Each of them saying that they’d get to the hospital in twenty minutes or less. Just at that moment, his name was called. “Sawamura!” The third year turned to see his coach and advisor running toward him. “Where’s Hinata?”

 

“I’ll show you.” Daichi motioned inside, and led the two adults to Shouyou’s room. “Oikawa and Iwaizumi said they found Hinata unconscious outside around two this morning. His little sister was with him, crying. They apparently heard her and found  her next to Hinata.” Daichi began to brief. “He was hurt bad. Oikawa’s mom is a nurse. They brought him here.”

 

“And what caused the injuries?” Ukai asked, a grim expression on his face.

 

“Abuse.” Daichi said after a brief moment of hesitation. “His dad abused him. Hinata apparently left the house after his dad brought...friends..over.” The teen cringed. “They….raped him.” Daichi clenched his fists, not looking to see Ukai nor Takeda’s reactions.

 

Ukai crosses his arms over his chest. “Fuck.” He cursed, glaring at the floor. Another string of curses went unheard, but Daichi knew they were there. Takeda, on the other hand, choked. The teacher’s hands flew up to his mouth in order to hide sobs that threatened to escape.

 

“Hinata’s with Sugawara. They’re talking to the police right now. Or they were before I left to inform you and the others.” Daichi explained, as the doors to the elevator opened. The three stepped inside. It was silent all the way up. When the door opened, Daichi continued to lead the two adults through the hall.

 

They came up to Shouyou’s room, where everyone was waiting outside. Oikawa and Iwaizumi we’re back. Tanaka and Asahi were still talking together. Tsukishima and Kiyoko were back from the convenience store. Daichi didn’t know how he missed them. The police and Sugawara were talking together. “Suga.” Daichi called, and the ashen haired teen turned his head.

 

“Daichi.” Sugawara smiled ever so slightly. He turned his eyes to Ukai and Takeda, nodding his head, and then waving them over. “Ukai-san, Takeda-sensei. This is Officer Hanazaki and Officer Kimura. They’re in charge of Shouyou’s case.” Sugawara introduced. “This is our volleyball coach and advisor, Ukai-san and Takeda-sensei, respectively.” The four adults shook hands and began to discuss things about Hinata.

Sugawara moved over to meet Daichi. “What’s going on? Is Hinata okay?” Daichi asked, glancing at his junior’s door.

 

“Yeah, for the most part.” Sugawara sighed. “They’re going to take pictures, of Shouyou’s body. For evidence, y’know?” The setter looked worried still. “Shouyou is scared. He doesn’t want anyone to see them.”

 

“Understandable.” Daichi nodded his head.

 

“How’d it go telling the others?” Sugawara moved his gaze back to the captain.

 

“Better than I thought. They’re all on their way.” He explained, receiving a short nod back from his vice captain.

 

“Sugawara-kun.” Hanazaki called the student. Sugawara turned around. “We’re going to start, if you’re ready.” The ashen haired teen nodded, and headed back into Shouyou’s room with the two officers.

 

——

 

Shouyou wasn’t counting how long Sugawara was gone, but it seem like the third year was gone forever. Shouyou could feel the anxiety building in his chest. It was like liquid fire that started under his rib cage and slowly burned down his arms and stomach. Up his throat. Shouyou suddenly felt sick. The idea of other people seeing the physical wounds his father caused. It made Shouyou blanch. He didn’t want anyone to see them. They were ugly. It’s why he hid the disgusting marks in the first place.

 

The ginger jumped at the door that opened up again. “Ah, sorry Shouyou.” Sugawara smiled apologetically. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” Shouyou shook his head, as his senior came up besides the bed. “Are you ready?”

 

“N-not really.” Shouyou frowned. He locked his eyes onto his lap. Sugawara reached out and ran his fingers through the first year’s hair. Shouyou leaned into the touch, and the simple reaction made Sugawara keen.

 

“I’ll be right besides you.” The setter nodded his head, carefully lifting Shouyou up and steadied the teen into his feet. Shouyou nodded back. He took a deep breath.

 

Hanazaki ad Kimura waited patiently. Once Shouyou gave the okay, Kimura pulled out a camera. “First we’ll start with your upper body. Is that okay?” She asked softly. Shouyou bit his lip, frantically looking between the camera and Sugawara.

 

“It’ll be okay, Shouyou.” Sugawara eased. Shouyou was still reluctant, but let Sugawara help him lift his shirt. Shouyou’s breathing hastened, as the shirt was lifted over his head. He was quick to grip Sugawara’s arm. His fingers tightened around his upperclassman’s bicep when he heard the light clicking of the camera going off. Tears pooled at the bottom of his eyes, and his teeth bit on his lower lip even harder. Blood was beginning to be drawn. Sugawara’s hand wrapped over Shouyou’s. “Shhh.”

 

“Turn the other way please.” Kimura asked politely. Sugawara shifted Shouyou, who was too frozen to move. The camera started clicking again.

 

“The poor kid.” Hanazaki whispered to his partner, but it wasn’t quiet enough. Shouyou heard him.

 

The young first year started moving to throw his shirt back on. The last thing he wanted was the pity. It was bad enough that his teammates knew. They already felt bad. Shouyou didn’t need these complete strangers to feel the same. “S-sorry. I guess that’s enough.” Sugawara moved automatically to help Shouyou redress himself.

 

“No. That’s fine. We should have enough evidence for the case trial.” Hanazaki said somberly. “Hinata-kun, thank you for your time.” Both Hanazaki and Kimura bowed their heads. They left the room, and silence fell upon Sugawara and Shouyou.

 

The third year turned to his junior, who was frantically tugging at the bottom of his shirt. Shouyou’s shirt was already on, but he pulled at the bottom as if the shirt wasn’t covering his body enough. Sugawara took Shouyou by the hands. “Shouyou. Calm down. Shh. Shh. It’s okay. They’re covered.” He stayed calmly. Still, Shouyou continued to pull and tug at his shirt.

 

Then there was a knock.

 

Shouyou jumped at the sound. His mind automatically went back to last night. The sound of the knock at his front door. The strange men that entered his home. The hands and the touching and the whispering. Shouyou shivered, retreating to his bed, where he bundled the blankets around himself. Sugawara frowned at the movement. “Shouyou.”

 

“I want to be alone Sugawara-san.” Shouyou’s voice came out quietly. His voice shook and his eyes stayed trained to the window. “Please.”

 

“O-okay.” Sugawara choked back, and stepped outside. He was met by Kageyama at the door. “K-Kageyama..”

 

The raven haired teen nodded, moving his eyes back to the door. “Is Hinata in there?”

 

“Shouyou wants to be alone right now.” Sugawara answered. He was clearly troubled by it.

 

“I need to see him.” Kageyama demanded, trying to enter the room anyway. He was jerked back by Tanaka.

 

“Just let him for now.” Tanaka told him. His expression was stern, something that was unlike the passive-aggressive second year. “He’s going through a lot and he just got done talking to the police.”

 

Kageyama all but snarled back at the wing spiker. “All the more reason I need to see him!”

 

“As much as I hate it,” Tsukishima muttered, “I agree with the King. Hinata shouldn’t be alone right now.”

 

“Everyone needs to calm down.” Ukai barked at the group of high school students. “Let’s give Hinata some time to calm himself down.” He said sternly. Reluctant nods and grunts came from around the hall.

 

——

 

Once Sugawara left the room, and the soft click of the door closing echoed, Shouyou shuffled himself out of his bed again. He shakily stood. It was more painful since Sugawara wasn’t there to hold him up. His legs were sore. Shouyou slowly made his way to one of the chairs by the window. He had noticed when he woke up that his clothes from last night were neatly folded and placed there. Shouyou unfolded his sweat pants and reached into his left pocket. His finger pricked a sharp object.

 

Shouyou carefully pinched the object between his index finger and thumb, sliding it out of his pocket. It was his razor blade. He knew he’d use it. Shouyou placed the razor flat against the palm of his hand, and closed his fist. His fire colored hair bounced as Shouyou hobbled toward the bathroom that was his hospital room. 

 

The door to the bathroom clicked closed. Shouyou turned his back to the mirror. He didn’t want to see how he looked. He already had an idea. Red puffy eyes that were probably swollen beyond belief. Purple rings under his eyes. Pale complexion to the point he looked half dead. Hair greasy and tangled. Bandages covering practically his entire body. He couldn’t understand how Sugawara could even touch him.

 

Shouyou opened his hand, just watching the silver blade reflect the white light above him. It really was such a beautiful thing. With his free hand, Shouyou gently plucked the razor from his palm. The metal was cool against the pads of his fingers. But the touch was soothing. It was something familiar to him.

 

With the hypnotized feeling coming back after a while, Shouyou removed the bandages over his left wrist. He could almost see the blood rushing through purple veins. Shouyou gulped down a puff of air, and brought the razor closer to his vein. There was no pressure he put into the blade yet. It just rest coolly against his skin. Shouyou watched the blade. Then slowly, he added pressure. More and more. His wrist started the sting. It was painful, of course, but Shouyou presses the razor down even more.

 

Beads of red slipped from under the jagged edge of razor. It slid along white skin and over the edge of Shouyou’s wrist, dripping from the underside. Shouyou’s brown eyes followed the thin trail of red that stained his wrist. Shouyou presses down even harder. This time dragged the blade across the canvas on his clean wrist. A thin red line formed, where more and more beads of red slid out. Shouyou pulled the razor away, and tilted his wrist. More of the metallic liquid spilled.

 

The blade was on Shouyou’s wrist again. This time just under the previous cut. Shouyou wasted no time in drawing a hard red line into his skin. The red from both cuts pooled together and slipped down his arm, making a trail to his elbow. Shouyou repeated this a couple times. There were a total of four cuts on his left wrist, all parallel to one another. Shouyou was going to go for a fifth, golden brown eyes still trained to the red spilling over his arm. Just as the Shouyou was about to press down for another red line to appear, the door slammed open.

 

“Shouyou?” The door handle turned and was pushed open in one fluid movement. “You’ve been in here too long. You okay—“ Shouyou jumped at the sound of Nishinoya’s voice suddenly appearing. His right hand jerked, creating a large cut at the side of Shouyou’s arms. He let out a pained yelp, dropping the razor to the blue tiled floor and going to clutch the five inch cut that was created. “SHOUYOU!” Nishinoya shouted at the blood that pooled the tile flooring.

 

Frantic cried were heard from back in Shoiyou’s hospital room, as everyone began to crowd the bathroom door. Nishinoya jumped forward, catching Shouyou when the latter’s knees buckled. The small libero was worried about the amount of blood that was staining his hands and Shouyou’s shirt. Was this supposed to be normal? Was this much blood normal for the five cuts that lined Shouyou’s arm?

 

“He hit his main artery!” Kageyama stated, rushing forward to press his hands against his best friend’s wrist. “Get a nurse! A doctor! Anyone!” The young setter cried frantically. Kinoshita rushes out. His voice faded with distance, calling for a doctor.

 

Takeda bet down in front of the trio, pressing paper towels atop Kageyama’s hands. The blood had began to slip through his fingers. Kageyama moved, allowing Takeda to press the towels to Shouyou’s wrist. “Hang on Shouyou.” Nishinoya cried into auburn hair. The ginger’s head lolled against the libero’s shoulder.

 

Kageyama leaned down, pressing his red stained hand to Shouyou’s cheek. “Oi, idiot. You need to stay awake.” He ordered softly. Shouyou responded soundlessly by widening his eyes a fraction of an inch. “Good.” Kageyama murmured.


	10. Stress of the Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
>  Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harassment  
>  (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)  
>  !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
> Disclaimer! Photo in cover page, as well as any other photo does not belong to me unless stated otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I never mentioned this before in the story, but it never occurred to me until now. So I’m pretty sure that somewhere in the previous chapters, I mentioned that Shouyou’s dad spent all his money on drugs and alcohol. Or maybe I put it as the shelves in the fridge were stocked with beers. Something like that. Yeah, so that means that there wasn’t a lot of food in the house. And that’s why Shouyou is often being described as “skinny” (or of the sorts). Shouyou didn’t eat, instead he always scrounged whatever money he could in order to feed Natsu, since everything up until now (in Shouyou’s perspective) was to protect Natsu. Just wanted to clear that up! Thanks!! <3

“Shou-chan.” A voice called gently through a wooden door. “It’s time to wake up.” A knock followed soon after the voice, waking up a young teen with messy orange locks. Shouyou blearily blinked his eyes open. The first thing that came into focus was the blank, white ceiling above him. It was another day. Shouyou groaned, closing his eyes again. He didn’t want to get up from the warmth that the bed beneath him was providing. He was too comfortable right now. “Shou-chan, if you don’t get up and eat breakfast with us, I’ll go get Iwa-chan~. He’s here again today.” The voice of Oikawa became more distinct to Shouyou’s ears, especially when he heard the name of a raven haired third year.

 

“You wouldn’t..” Shouyou tried, eyes squinting open and watching the door of the room carefully.

 

“You and I both know that I would.” Oikawa dared. “You have until the count of five, Shou-chan.” The older teen began counting upward, very slowly. Shouyou frowned, testing to see if Oikawa would seriously sell him out to the latter’s best friend. But Oikawa continued to count, “Four and a half..” The setter drew out, long and slow. Shouyou could practically hear the smirk on the brunette’s face. The ginger haired boy shot up from his bed in Oikawa’s guest room.

 

“I’m up! I’m up!” Shouyou called, “Asshole.” He muttered as an afterthought.

 

Oikawa clicked his tongue. “You’ve been hanging around Iwa-chan too much.” The comment made Shouyou smile ever so slightly. He was glad that Oikawa couldn’t see it, or the setter would scream in glee and hug Shouyou way too tightly. “Well, come downstairs in five minutes, Shou-chan, or I’ll really send Iwa-chan up here to get you.” Oikawa threatened half-heartedly. Soon, loud footsteps faded down the hall and down the stairs.

 

Shouyou sighed, throwing his legs over the side of the bed and stared emotionlessly at the carpeted floor. Him and Natsu were now temporarily living with Oikawa and his mom. After everything that happened in the hospital, the two Hinata siblings were immediately put into the foster care system. All too quickly, there were many families that offered to take in Shouyou and Natsu. Though none of those families were willing to take the both of them. Oikawa’s mother was very hesitant about stranger’s housing the two children, especially after what Shouyou’s dad’s friends did. She was even more hesitant after hearing that none of the families were financially stable enough to take in both of the Hinata children. So Oikawa’s mother had applied herself into the foster care system. She was accepted almost immediately because of her job at the hospital, which paid well. After a few more confirmations, the two ginger children were moving into the Oikawa residence.

 

It’s been two weeks since Shouyou was discharged from the hospital.

 

And one week since Shouyou and Natsu moved in with the Oikawas.

 

Since a week ago, Iwaizumi had also been showing up at Oikawa’s house, nearly every day, as per Sugawara’s request. The constant visits were to--obviously--check up on Shouyou and to see how the sun child was doing.

 

With a shallow sigh, Shouyou pushed himself up and off the bed. He stretched his back, which resulted in a few pops up and down his spine. Without exerting any unnecessary energy, Shouyou made his way to the bathroom. Golden brown eyes refused to look into the bathroom’s mirror. Oikawa’s mom and Shouyou’s doctor suspected the Shouyou had developed spectrophobia, which was a fear of mirrors or the fear of his own reflection. Shouyou didn’t care about the name they gave it. He shook his head and continued to do what needed to be done. First he used the bathroom. The teen turned on the sink and made sure that the water was warm. Shouyou quickly washed his hands and his face, brushed his teeth, and patted his face dry. All done without glancing in the mirror once.

 

Once that was done, Shouyou ducked his head and pulled the bathroom door open. He exited out into the hallway in order to make his way downstairs. Soon, Shouyou entered the dining room, where the smell of food made Shouyou want to gag. Still, the auburned haired boy still sat at the dining room table. “Nii-chan!” Natsu shouted, when her older brother sat down. On the table, in the space in front of Natsu, was a large drawing pad. Colored pencils, crayons, and markers were scattered around her. A purple marker was clutched in her right hand and a grin was on her face.

 

“Natsu-chan, manners please.” Mrs. Oikawa reminded softly. There was a smile on her lips and the woman’s eyes crinkled at the corners. Natsu smiled sheepishly back, uttering a small apology. “Good morning Shouyou.” The older woman turned her head to Shouyou, and gently ran her thin fingers through his hair. “Sleep well?”

 

Shouyou gave a nod. “Better.” He assured. Natsu took that opportunity to wrap her big brother into a tight hug. Her arms stretching around her brother’s neck and squeezing tightly. Once the smaller ginger pulled away, Shouyou smiled genuinely at his little sister. Everyone had noticed that Natsu was the only person that could make Shouyou smile still. Everyone else had failed at that. But the smile wasn’t as wide as it used to be; wasn’t as bright.

 

A hand reached over Shouyou’s head and placed two small pills on the table in front of the boy. One pill was white and the other was a dark blue--an antidepressant and a vitamin, respectively. A glass of water followed after. Shouyou glanced back at the person who had set down the pill. Oikawa. “It’s time to take them.” The brunette smiled carefully.

 

“Thank you.” Shouyou whispered, taking the small pills into the palm of his hand and the water in his other hand. He tilted his head back and let his pills drop into his mouth. The pills were quickly chased with water. Shouyou hated taking the medicine.

 

“Hinata.” A fourth person entered the dining room. Shouyou already knew who it was though. Iwaizumi’s expression was stern, but his brown eyes were narrowed with worry and pity. It was an expression that Shouyou was quickly getting used to seeing in people’s eyes when they looked at him. He hated it. The ace stopped beside Shouyou’s seat and held his right hand out, palm up. Shouyou stared at the hand for a minute, before looking up to meet Iwaizumi’s gaze. He knew what the third year was implying. “Hinata. Please.” The words came out more needy than Iwaizumi probably wanted them to.

 

“Natsu, come here.” Mrs. Oikawa called the young girl. “It’s time to get ready for school.”

 

“You mean daycare! Silly!” Natsu giggled and slipped out of her seat. She rushed to Mrs. Oikawa’s side and the two left the room. Natsu didn’t know about Shouyou hurting himself. She was too young to understand anyway. So whenever it was time for the daily check, Mrs. Oikawa would leave with Natsu. Shouyou was grateful for that.

 

Shoyou let out a tired sigh, and placed his right hand into Iwaizumi’s right hand. The older teen flipped over the younger’s arm to get a look at Shouyou’s wrist. He was checking for any new cuts. Once Iwaizumi was sure that no new ones had appeared, he silently asked for Shouyou’s other arm. “Why do I have to get checked everyday?” Shouyou pouted, but it wasn’t in the whiny way that Oikawa and Iwaizumi would have usually expected Shouyou to speak in. His tone sounded more exasperated than anything. “I’ve been clean for just over two weeks.” The boy’s eyes were trained to the ground, dull and uncaring.

 

“We just want to make sure, Shou-chan.” Oikawa tried to smile, ruffling the first year’s hair. “It was…” The setter paused, trying to think of the right words to say. “It was horrifying..that day. All of us thought..”

 

“All of us thought that we were going to lose you, Hinata.” Iwaizumi finished. “We just want to take precautions.”

 

Shouyou looked up at the two third years. “Why bother? Why does it matter to you guys anyways?” Oikawa and Iwaizumi froze. “Before all this. Before you two got tangled up in this mess, we weren’t even rivals. More or less friends. I only knew you by your association to Kageyama. You two aren’t obligated to do this for me.” Shouyou turned his eyes back to the ground, and pulled his arm away from Iwaizumi.

 

“W-we do this  _ because _ of what happened.” Oikawa emphasized. “ _ Because _ of what happened, we became friends. And now that we’re friends, Iwa-chan and I aren’t going to let you suffer through this alone. We’re here to support you and you have to understand that Shou-chan.” The setter pleaded, as he rested both of his hands on Shouyou’s shoulders. He tried to meet the younger’s eyes, but Shouyou refused to make eye contact.

 

“Don’t you two have practice, or something?” Shouyou rerouted the conversation.

 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa shared a short glance, before they backed away from the first year. “You need to eat something Hinata.” Iwaizumi stated. It wasn’t a statement. It was an order.

 

“Not hungry.” Shouyou curtly responded. The boy got up from his seat at the dining room table. The wooden legs of the chair created a loud screech against wood floors. Shouyou moved past the two third years, crossing the hall and into the living room. Neither Iwaizumi nor Oikawa had the courage to go after Shouyou. It was clear that he didn’t want to talk anymore. With a quiet sigh, the two gathered their things to head to school.

 

Shouyou heard the front door open. “We’re leaving now, mom. Shou-chan.” Oikawa declared, letting his best friend out the door first. Oikawa, then, followed. The door clicked shut and Shouyou was left in the living room in silence. Shouyou reveled in the brief moment of quiet. There were soft thumps coming from upstairs, where Natsu was undoubtedly jumping around as she got ready for daycare. She was a lot happier now that she was out of their old house, and away from that man. Shouyou saw that much. The thumping grew louder, as the noise moved down the stairs.

 

“Nii-chan.” Natsu called, all the while bouncing into the living room. She jumped around the couch, before climbing onto her brother’s lap. Shouyou tightly wrapped his arms around his little sister and pressed a firm kiss at the crown of her head. The girl giggled into his neck, before pulling away and looking up at the older teen. “Where’s Tooru-nii and Haji-nii?” Natsu’s brown looked around the room, then back to her brother.

 

“They left for school already.” Shouyou responded. Natsu pouted and crossed her arms over her chest, mumbling something about the two third years not saying bye to her. “Hey, Natsu?” Shouyou caught the child’s attention, tilting her head in reply. “Are you..Do you like it here? I mean being away from dad?” Natsu was silent for a minute. A frown made it’s way to her lips.

 

The girl shook her head. “I miss dad. But I know he was mean to you, Nii-chan.” Natsu’s response took Shouyou by surprise. “I miss how dad was before he was mean. When he took us to dinner, and bought us things. Dad used to be nice right?”

 

Shouyou smiled slightly. “Yeah.”

 

“But I like being here, with auntie, Tooru-nii, and Haji-nii.” Natsu continued, intertwining her small fingers with Shouyou’s. “And meeting nii-chan’s friends, like Tobi-nii and Suga-nii. They’re all super nice.” She grinned. The smile on his sister’s face made Shouyou’s heart warm. He reached out and took the girl into his arms, hugging her tightly. Natsu squealed in response, small hands pressing against her older brother’s face to push him away. Shouyou resisted, burying his nose into her neck and blowing a raspberry.

 

Mrs. Oikawa came downstairs after changing into her work clothes. She heard laughs and squeals coming from her living room. As quietly as possible, the brunette haired woman worked her way towards the entrance and peeked her head inside. Twisting and turning on her couch was Natsu, eyes clenched closed and mouth open in a wide smile. Shouyou was leaning above her, pressing his hands into the girl’s stomach and grinning just as wide. The two sibling playing with one another was a beautiful sight, especially after everything that was going on. It was nice to see the two children smiling.

 

As much as Mrs. Oikawa didn’t want to ruin the moment between the brother and sister, she coughed into her hand, effectively stopping the two gingers. They both looked up with tear filled eyes and smiles fading ever so slightly. “Sorry to interrupt.” The woman giggled at Shouyou’s ever reddening face. “Natsu, honey. It’s time to leave. Go get your school bag and shoes.” The small girl pouted, but slid off the couch and ran out of the living room anyway.

 

Shouyou stood up from his spot as well. His brown eyes trailed to the floor, while his fingers twisted together in a nervous habit. “Thank you…” He muttered quietly, instantly reverting to the broken child that Mrs. Oikawa met the first time. “..for doing all of this.” He looked up and met eyes with the mother of his rival. “Housing us. Taking Natsu to school and picking her up. Just..everything. Nothing I do could ever repay you for what you’ve done for my sister and I.”

 

“Oh, dear.” Mrs. Oikawa swooned, hugging Shouyou to her. “You don’t need to thank me, or repay me in anyway. All I want is to give you and Natsu the childhood you deserve.” Shouyou hiccuped, beginning to mumble incoherent words that could only be interpreted as ‘thank you’s. “Now, are you sure you’ll be okay here on your own?” The woman tilted Shouyou’s head up.

 

“Yes ma’am.” Shouyou nodded, giving his best smile.

 

The older woman sighed unsurely. “I can take another few days at work if you’re not comfortable yet, Shou-chan.”

 

Shouyou rapidly shook his head at that. “No no no! You don’t have to worry about me. Promis!”

 

“Well, if you’re sure.” Mrs. Oikawa said hesitantly. “If you need anything, call me right away. You have my number. And if you’re hungry, there is food in the fridge that you can warm up. Or if you don’t want left overs, there is some simple foods you can prepare in the cabinet and fridge, like sandwiches or ramen. Help yourself, okay?” Shouyou gave a nod to reassure the older woman that he’d be fine.

 

“Ready!” Natsu called from the hallway, both Shouyou and Mrs. Oikawa turning at the sound of the girl’s voice.

 

“We’ll be leaving then, okay?” The brunette haired woman turned back to Shouyou. “Call if you need anything. I’ll pick up right away.” Another nod from the auburn haired teen. Mrs. Oikawa exited the living room and headed toward the front door, where Natsu bounced impatiently. Shouyou followed, stopping a few feet away and leaned against the wall to his left.

 

“Bye nii-chan!” Natsu waved enthusiastically, and rushed out the door toward the car out in the driveway. Shouyou waved back, receiving another smile from Oikawa’s mother before the door shut and clicked locked.

 

\-----

 

Shouyou was completely alone now that everyone had left for work and school After his sister and Mrs. Oikawa had left, Shouyou had migrated back to the living room. There was nothing to do. Well, nothing that interested Shouyou. The tv was turned off and the blinds were shut, leaving Shouyou in the darkened room. The teen sighed, patting at the pants he was wearing in order to search for his phone. Find that he had left the object in his room, Shouyou pushed himself up from the couch again to get it from his room.

 

In no time at all, Shouyou made it to the second floor and down the hall to one of two guest room that he and Natsu were occupying. Shouyou opened the door to the room that he was staying in and slipped inside the darkened space. With a few steps forward, the teen reached the bedside table, where is light orange phone rested. Shouyou picked it up and opened it. He tapped at the keys, opening the messaging application, finding that he has two new messages. Both of them were from the same person, Kageyama. Shouyou opened the message that was sent in first at six o’clock this morning.

 

_ To: Dumbass Shouyou _

_ From: BaKageyama _

_ Subject: none _

 

_ Morning Dumbass. _

 

Shouyou snorted at the context of the first message from his partner. The corner of his lips quirked up in the smallest of smiles. Next, Shouyou opened up the second message that he received at seven ten.

 

_ To: Dumbass Shouyou _

_ From: BaKageyama _

_ Subject: Are you even awake yet? _

 

_ Just got to school. About to start practice. The team says they miss you. Reply to their texts too idiot. _

 

The last two sentense made Shouyou frown. He’s opened and read everyone of the texts that his other teammates have been sending him. He’s read them dozens of times, over and over. So much that he could reiterate perfectly what each of his friends had sent. But even so, he never replied to any of them. Hell, Shouyou didn’t even reply to Kageyama’s texts. Shouyou felt like he couldn’t. There was nothing for him to say to them, at least, over text. Everything that the ginger wanted to say had to be said in person.

 

Shouyou snapped his phone shut, with a sigh leaving his lips. The boy sat upon the bed that he had just gotten out of roughly twenty minutes ago. Once he sat down, Shouyou couldn’t help but to fall back into the soft blankets and wrap himself in the comfort. He twisted and turned, finally finding himself comfortable on his back. He stared up at the white ceiling again, before slowly closing his eyes.

 

The sun child tried to clear his head, but his thought only pooled together again. With nothing else to do, Shouyou thought that he might as well try to sort himself out--his feelings, his thoughts, just everything that was going on. And  _ a lot _ has been going on.

 

Shouyou sort of felt like he was a prisoner, trapped within this house. As if he was trapped by people that constantly watched over him. He knew though, that everyone was just trying to help him, and he truly appreciates their concern. Really, Shouyou did. But it was all so suffocating, being watched over and checked on so frequently. There was no longer that feeling of being all alone. Being alone was something that Shouyou had grown accustomed to; grown to expect it. And now there were just so many people that cared. Shouyou missed the lonely and the quiet. He was grateful that the fear had been factored out of the equation now.

 

Now, Shouyou didn’t have to constantly fear that his pathetic excuse of a father would barge into his room in the middle of the night to beat him. Shouyou didn’t have to worry about Natsu being targeted or subject to cruel abuse like he had. She was finally out of harm’s way. No more did Shouyou have to keep looking over his shoulder for the man that made his life hell.

 

Even so, Shouyou wasn’t used to being cared for anymore. It felt like it’s been forever since he’s felt such love and compassion. He was honestly grateful to his friends, and rivals alike. They’ve helped him all so much. And Shouyou didn’t know how to ever repay them for taking him and his sister away from a dark household.

 

Slowly, the teen was startled from his thoughts by his phone vibrating on his lap. He frowned, grabbing his phone again and holding it above his face. The screen lights up, revealing another message from Kageyama, sent at seven fifty-two. Just how long was Shouyou stuck in thought? Shouyou didn’t hesitate to open the message.

 

_ To: Dumbass Shouyou _

_ From: BaKageyama _

_ Subject: News 1/2 _

 

_ Ukai just finished practice with an announcement. I think you’ll be excited to hear. _

 

Not even a second after Shouyou finished reading the message, his phone vibrated again with another new message.

 

_ To: Dumbass Shouyou _

_ From: BaKageyama _

_ Subject: News 2/2 _

 

_ There’s going to be a training camp in Tokyo in a week. So hurry up and come back to school dumbass. _

 

A familiar flutter of excitement bloomed in Shouyou’s chest. He wanted to go too. He wanted to play volleyball again. To feel the stinging in his palm after successfully spiking a toss from Kageyama. To hear his teammates shout words of encouragement like, ‘God job Shouyou!’ or ‘Nice spike!’ and ‘Give us another Hinata!’ Shouyou missed it all. Hell, he even missed Tsukishima’s constant uttering of ‘damn shrimp.’ Shouyou missed his teammates. His friends. His family.

 

The excitement in Shouyou’s chest quickly turned into a painful burning sensation. Shouyou took a fistful of his shirt and curled himself to a ball underneath his covers. He clenched his eyes tight and panted. He wanted to scream, but he choked on the sounds. Shouyou gasped for air. Tears began to pool at the edge of his eyes. And Shouyou couldn’t breathe. The loneliness was tearing at the insides of Shouyou’s chest. He missed the sense of normalcy that he no longer had. SHouyou would now  _ always be pitied _ ; looked down on and seen as the ‘abused kid.’ His friends and teachers would all treat him differently.

 

_ Kageyama _ treats him differently now. The setter is nicer, calmer, more patient.

 

Even  _ Tsukishima _ for Christ’s sake, getting all worked up and yelling at Shouyou in the hospital. The blonde actually expressed emotions in front of others that wasn’t Yamaguchi.

 

Shouyou didn’t want any of that. He wanted everything to be normal again, back to the way things were before all of this shit happened. He wanted Kageyama to keep calling him ‘dumbass’ and  _ meaning  _ it. For Tsukishima to ignore him. For his teachers to scold him for falling asleep in class. For his classmates to tease him about being the volleyball team’s ‘bag boy.’ For his teammates to laugh at him when he messed up and then correct him.

 

To have his family again. His mother to be okay and happy. Natsu to be worry free.

 

His dad to have never showed up.

 

The screams finally broke past Shouyou’s lips, coming out in a painful shriek. Through that one scream, Shouyou released all of his anguish and dread. The screech fell onto deaf ears, as the Oikawa residence was still unoccupied by everyone except Shouyou.

 

For the first time since everything began to change, Shouyou allowed himself to cry for himself, and only himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a filler chapter for all the shit that may or may not go down in the next chapter, so that's why this is a pretty short chapter. Sorry it took so long to write this! I had so much on my plate for the past month. My friend just turned 18 on Nov 25, and I was apart of her debut (It's like a quincenera, but in my culture we do it at 18). I was apart of her court and twice a week we had practice to learn the routine for the waltz and swing dances. THEN I was also working on a solo that I'd be dancing at her party. AND THEN I had hula practice (the Hawaiian dancing) cuz we have a big performance coming up in Feb. And yeah. It's been hectic. Hell, I don't even know if any of you are reading this note lmao. Oh well.


	11. Heart to Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
>  Abuse, Cutting/Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, Rape, Sexual Harassment  
>  (other triggers will be added on as story progresses, if any more to be added)  
>  !TRIGGER WARNINGS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another note that I failed to mention at the beginning of this fic. When Shouyou first starts “acting weird” it’s supposed to take place just before Inter High. And I realized while writing this particular chapter, that my timeline is off. I originally wanted this to take place before Inter High and all that, but I think that for the better of the plot, this whole fic takes place just after the Inter High. I’ll probably go back sometime in the future to edit the chapters to fit this new timeline I’m writing in. Bear with me if the earlier chapters don’t line up with this or future chapters. Thank you.

 

Without even realizing it, Shouyou had fallen asleep again. He had woken up for the second time that day at eleven thirty-three. Shouyou blinked blearily, sitting up from his bed. He felt groggy, having slept another four hours on top of the eight hours he slept last night. Shouyou moved to get up. A sudden wave of nausea hit Shouyou, pushing his back first onto his bed. The teen groaned, and pushed himself up one more time. When he thought that he wouldn’t get dizzy again, Shouyou stood up and walked over to his dresser because maybe a shower would wake him up. He gathered his belongings, consisting of a large, fuzzy yellow towel and a full change of clothes.

 

Shouyou exited out into the hallway and turned into the bathroom that he shared with Oikawa. The house had three bathrooms, only two baths. There was the bathroom downstairs that only had a toilet and a sink. The two bathrooms upstairs had the baths and/or showers. There was the bathroom that Oikawa and Shouyou shared and then there was the bathroom that was attached to the master bedroom, in which Mrs. Oikawa shared with Natsu. The first year neatly arranged his clothing along the sink counter, as well as hanging his towel on the railing closest to the bath.

 

In swift, practiced movements, Shouyou pulled his clothing off. It left him bare. Though Shouyou didn’t look at himself in the mirror, he couldn’t help but stare down at his too skinny body. His pale body had lost nearly all of the lean muscle it had built from volleyball training, leaving him nothing but portions of baby fat around his stomach, underarms, hips, and thighs. These areas weren’t hardened by muscle anymore. They were squishy. And Shouyou was appalled by this because even though he had no more muscle--only being left with fat--he was still too skinny. Along his chest, he could see the faintest outline of his ribs. The same thing shown along his hips, where he could see the disgusting ‘v’ to his pelvis.

 

Shouyou gagged at the sight of himself. How was it possible to be fat and skinny at the same time? Shouyou choked on something invisible. He crouched over the toilet and started spitting up bile. It left a nasty taste in Shouyou’s mouth. When Shouyou realized that he was only dry heaving now, he lifted himself up and turned the shower on. This time he tried to ignore the fact that his fingers were to boney. It took a few minutes to heat up to a temperature that Shouyou was comfortable with. Shouyou stepped into the bath, letting the steaming water pool over his shoulders. He closed his eyes at the comforting feeling of heat encasing him. He stood here for who knows how long, just letting the hot water work over him. Finally, Shouyou proceeded with the rest of his shower.

 

When he was done, Shouyou reached out of the bath to grab the fluffy yellow towel. He worked on drying his body before exiting the steam filled shower. Shouyou climbed out of the bath with the towel tied over his hips. This time, Shouyou didn’t even spare a glance down at his body. Instead, he focused all of his attention into getting dressed. First he pulled on a tank top. Then his shirt, followed by the thickest sweater he owned. He was cold. Shouyou untied his towel, throwing it around his neck. He slipped into his boxers and some sweats. As he exited the bathroom, we was sure to leave the bathroom door open so that the steam could lift. Walking down the hall, Shouyou dried his short hair thoroughly. He came to his room, where he threw the towel onto the bed, exchanging it with his phone.

 

Shouyou made his way back downstairs and into the kitchen, where he glanced at the clock on the oven. It was now just past noon. Mrs. Oikawa and Natsu would be home around four, if they came straight from Natsu’s daycare. Sometimes Mrs. Oikawa would have to run errands after picking up Natsu and would come back later. Shouyou turned away from the clock, glancing at the fridge. Even though Shouyou wasn’t really hungry, he opened the fridge and scrounged around for food. Shouyou found some leftovers from last night. It was katsudon. He shrugged to himself, transferring a little bit of the food into another bowl to heat up. The inserted the bowl into the microwave and set the timer for two minutes.

 

As Shouyou’s brunch heated up, he pulled his phone from the pocket of is sweats and opened the device. Not to his surprise, there was a new message from Kageyama. He probably just started lunch break.

 

_ To: Dumbass Shouyou _

_ From: BaKageyama _

_ Subject: Update on Training Camp _

 

_ Just started lunch break. I heard from Daichi-san that we’re leaving for camp next Thursday night. Well be in Tokyo until Sunday morning, and leaving back here Sunday afternoon before lunch. _

 

_ If you’re gonna come you have to talk to Coach Ukai, Takeda-sensei, and Daichi-san. _

 

Shouyou really wanted to go, even if the coach banned him from playing. He wanted to be there, in Tokyo, with the team. For just a moment, he didn’t care about the reactions of his friends on his rival teams when they saw how different he was. For just a moment, Shouyou didn’t care how different everyone would treat him. Maybe all of the pitying glances would be worth it if he had volleyball back again. Shouyou was startled from his train of thought when microwave rang throughout the kitchen. His food was done.

 

Shaking his head, Shouyou placed his phone down on the dining table in order to get his food. In the instant that the teen opened the microwave, he felt nauseous just smelling the reheated katsudon. Still, he pulled the food out and onto the counter. Shouyou took a pair of chopsticks from the utensil drawer and picked up his food again. Moving to the dining table, he sat down and stared at his serving. It seemed like so little food when he transferred it from the tubberware just a few minutes prior. Now it suddenly seemed like so much. The sight of his body came into mind, and even though the smell was atrocious, Shouyou finished all of it.

 

The teen took his bowl to the sink and washed the bowl and chopsticks before drying them and putting them away. Shouyou grabbed his phone and went to watch in the living room until Mrs. Oikawa and Natsu get home. He plopped down onto the couch, reaching for the remote and turning the tv onto some random channel that he wasn’t really watching.

 

\-----

 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi both grumbled at the note that was taped to the gym doors.

 

_ Volleyball Team, _

 

_ Practice is cancelled today because the basketball team will be needing this gym for their scrimmage that will be taking place at 4:30pm. Whoever has the keys to the gym, please take them to the faculty office to give to the basketball coach, Mineyoshi-sensei. _

 

_ Coach Irihata and Coach Mizoguchi _

 

The two third years sighed at the late notice of practice being cancelled. “I’ll go back to the club room to let the others know that practice is cancelled. Go drop the gym key off at the faculty office.” Iwaizumi ordered, already turning to leave the brunette. The captain sighed, but nodded. Oikawa made his way back to the school’s main building.

 

Once the volleyball teams club room was cleared of all of its occupants, Iwaizumi walked toward the school’s main gates. Oikawa was already waiting there, waving to Hanamaki and Matsukawa--who were most likely heading to the latter’s house to either study or play video games. Oikawa turned at the sound of Iwaizumi approaching. He smiled softly. “Coming back with me?” The brunette asked.

 

Iwaizumi nodded his head. “Yeah. I wanna apologize to Hinata.”

 

Oikawa chuckled. “Figured.” He gave a sideway glance toward his best friend. “You’ve gotten soft Iwa-chan.”

 

“Shut up.” The ace grumbled, figuring that it wasn’t worth the effort to try and his the teasing setter. The two third years walked back to the Oikawa residence in utter silence. That’s how it was between them though. They didn’t need pointless discussion to be around one another, though Iwaizumi figured that Oikawa did it just to be annoying. He wouldn’t put it past the brunette.

 

When the two finally reached Oikawa’s house, the aforementioned teen was already pulling out his house key from his school bag. He slid the metallic piece into the keyhole, and turned it clockwise. There was a click on the lock and Oikawa pushed the door open. “We’re back.” He called, walking in. Iwaizumi followed closely, not bothering with the greeting since he was over often enough. The ace closed the door behind him upon entering. “Shou-chan?” Oikawa called again, as he slipped his shoes off. Iwaizumi did the same.

 

Shouyou poked his head out from the living room, eyebrows scrunched up and nose crinkled. Both Iwaizumi and Oikawa found it endearing. “You’re back already? It barely three thirty. What happened to practice?” Shouyou fully came out from the living room to meet the two third years.

 

“Ah, practice was cancelled. The basketball team needed the gym today.” Iwaizumi explained briefly. Shouyou nodded his head. “How was your day, Hinata?”

 

Shouyou shrugged meekly, twisting his fingers into the bottom of his shirt. “Nothing special. Boring.”

 

Oikawa smiled. “Sorry to hear that there was nothing for you to do.” The setter glanced at his best friend, then to the ginger. “Have you eaten anything Shou-chan? Want me and Iwa-chan to cook something for you?”

 

The younger male shook his head. “I ate around noon. But I’m not hungry yet. Thanks though.” Shouyou muttered, biting his bottom lip. Over the few weeks, Oikawa and Iwaizumi noticed that Shouyou picked up various nervous habits. For example, playing with his shirt, biting his lip, playing with his fingers, rubbing the back of his neck or arms, and playing with his hair. They were all easy to pick up on. But the two third years knew when not to push.

 

Oikawa hummed, thinking of something to say. “Well, if you’re up for it, wanna toss a volleyball back and forth?” Shouyou snapped his head up from looking at the floor. He looked surprised, happy. Oikawa grinned at that. To his left, Iwaizumi looked equally stunned, unsure.

 

“R-really?” Shouyou asked, watching the setter carefully.

 

“Yup. I won’t let you do any spiking though. Nothing to exerting. Just passing the ball back and forth, got it.” Oikawa said sternly. Shouyou smiled, albeit it wasn’t as wide as the two upperclassmen were used to. But it was still something. It was still that unabashed, pure, genuine smile that was strictly Shouyou’s. And for just a second, Iwaizumi and Oikawa saw a flash of the Shouyou that they’d met at their first practice match against each other. “Let’s head to the backyard then. Shou-chan, you should put on shoes. Just in case.” Shouyou nodded, and went to get his volleyball shoes from his room.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Iwaizumi asked unsurely, watching as Shouyou disappeared upstairs. “His body may still not be able to handle any more physical activity than walking.” Oikawa shrugged.

 

“I promise I won’t let him do anything that requires him to run around.” Oikawa said quietly. “But did you see that Iwa-chan? How Shou-chan looked so happy. I can’t say no now.” The setter continued fondly.

\-----

 

Mrs. Oikawa stepped inside her home around four forty-five. Natsu rushed inside, already calling for her brother. The young girl slipped her shoes off, fixing them next to two pairs of school shoes. Mrs. Oikawa smiled, noticing that her son and Hajime her home early. “Natsu, wash up before you look for Shouyou.” She called out to the energetic girl. Natsu sped out of the living room, and down the hall into the bathroom. Mrs. Oikawa went to the kitchen, placing her belongings on the dining room table. “Tooru? Shouyou? Hajime?” She called out for the three teens, but there was no response from any of them. The woman paused listening for any movement from upstairs. “Boys?” She called again, walking toward the bottom of the stairs.

 

“Auntie!” Natsu gushed from the back of the house. Mrs. Oikawa followed the girl’s voice. Natsu was pressed against the glass sliding door that led to the backyard. Her eyes were widen and her smile wasn’t anything less of the happiest grin that has even been seen on the girl’s face. “Look! Nii-chan!” Natsu pointed outside, not taking her eyes off whatever she was staring at.

 

Mrs. Oikawa moved to look outside in her backyard. And the sight brought tears to her eyes. Outside were the three missing teens that she had been calling for. They stood outside in a triangular formation, lightly tossing a volleyball around. And then there was Shouyou, who was smiling wide. Though every now and then he dropped the ball and messed up the rally, his smile didn’t falter. She saw how her son and Hajime spoke, assuming that they were telling Shouyou to brush it off. She saw how Shouyou would pout, click his tongue, and start the rally again with another grin.

 

It was the happiest she’s seen Shouyou since he woke up in the hospital. She gasped and sobbed happily, covering her lips with her hand. Natsu squealed, throwing the sliding door open and demanding that she join the game. Shouyou hugged his little sister and smiled at Mrs. Oikawa that was at the door. The older woman laughed, wiping her tears away. “I’ll bring out snacks for you all.” The three boys thanked her, before starting another rally, this time with Natsu joining in.

 

And Mrs. Oikawa thought that things might turn out just fine.

 

\-----

 

Later on dinner was set at the table and everyone was seated. Iwaizumi was also invited--forced--to say over for dinner by Mrs. Oikawa. Everyone was served, and thanked the brunette haired woman for the food. Shouyou helped Natsu cut her meat, before slowly picking at his own. This time, the smell wasn’t as disgusting as his lunch earlier that day. Shouyou figured that it was because he worked up an appetite after the small amount of exercise he got today. So it was easier to eat this time.

 

Shouyou cleared his throat. “Um.” Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Natsu, and Mrs. Oikawa looked at the ginger haired boy. “I-I want to go back to school. I th-think I’m better now, and-”

 

“Of course.” Shouyou was startled by the quick response from Oikawa’s mother. She was smiling softly. “I think you’re okay to go to school now, but I didn’t want to force you if your weren’t ready. I’m glad you brought it up on your own.”

 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi nodded their heads. “We didn’t want you to feel pressured Hinata.” Iwaizumi stated. “Like you had to go to school right away, even though you were feeling your best.”

 

“So, I can? Tomorrow?” Shouyou asked hopefully. “I-I think I also have to talk with my friends, the team. I think they deserve an explanation..” Shouyou chuckled nervously, resorting in one of his many nervous habits--biting his lip.

 

“You don’t need to force yourself, Shou-chan.” Oikawa piped up. “If you don’t think you’re ready to confront your team about everything, I’m sure they’d respect your wishes. Don’t feel obligated to tell them everything right away.” The setter spoke softly.

 

Shouyou shook his head. “I’m not thinking about it like that. I really want to talk to them.” He sighed. “I’ve been ignoring their texts since the hospital, and I think it would be best for me to talk to them as soon as possible.”

 

“If that’s your decision, then I’d be happy to call Karasuno tomorrow morning and let them know you’d be coming back.” Mrs. Oikawa smiled. She was so happy that Shouyou was making an effort to get better, to move on. But at the same time, she felt that Shouyou was trying to get better too fast. She’d have to ask Shouyou’s volleyball coach and advisor to watch after him. Though she’s sure that they would even if she didn’t ask.

 

“Y-yes please.” Shouyou muttered quietly.

 

“Then it’s settled. I’ll let your school know the second the office opens.” Mrs. Oikawa reassured. “If you’re going to go back tomorrow, make sure you have everything ready. Leave your uniform by your door and I’ll wash it tonight for you.” Shouyou uttered at small ‘yes ma’am’ and that was the end of the conversation.

 

Shouyou was going back to school tomorrow.

 

And tomorrow night, he’d ask about the training camp.

 

\-----

 

The following morning was a Thursday.

 

Shouyou woke up at six thirty, an hour and a half later than he’d normal wake up when he lived with his dad. The Oikawa’s lived closer to Karasuno than where he previously did, so he was able to wake up later and still get to school on time. Shouyou thought that that was convenient. He got up from his bed and moved to get his uniform from the laundry downstairs. As promised, Shouyou found his uniform freshly washed and neatly folded in a blue basket atop the dryer. He grabbed his uniform and made his way back upstairs to change.

 

For a moment, the uniform looked weird on Shouyou’s thin body. Had it always been this big? Shouyou tucked his shirt into his pants and slipped on his lime green sweatshirt that he always wore over his uniform. Then Shouyou grabbed his school blazer and threw it on. Shouyou peeked outside his room and down the hall to the bathroom, just in time to see Oikawa exit. The third year wasn’t dressed yet, but he disappeared behind his bedroom door to do so. Shouyou scuttled down the hall and into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and fixed his hair to the best of his ability. Shouyou hear a series of footsteps patter past the door and down the stairs. He turned off the water in the sink and dried his hands. When finished, Shouyou moved back to his room to grab his school bag and his phone.

 

The boy was greeted with a series of ‘good mornings’ as he entered the kitchen. “Shou-chan, you look great!” Oikawa teased, ruffling the first year’s hair. Shouyou frowned, swatting the third year away. “Nervous?” The brunette continued to tease.

 

“N-no!” Shouyou half heartedly retorted. “Shut up.” He sighed and sat next to Natsu. The girl was coloring at the dining table again. Shouyou pulled out his phone, glancing at the time. It was six forty. He pulled out his phone and started up a new group text.

 

_ Group Name: Volleyball Club _

_ To: Daichi-san, Suga-san, Asahi-san, Tanaka-senpai, Noya-senpai, Ennoshita-san, Narita-san, Kinoshita-san, Yama, TsundereTsuki, BaKageyama, Coach, Takeda-sensei, Shimizu-san _

_ From: Hinata _

_ Subject: I’m coming back today. _

 

_ Can we talk? _

 

Shouyou hit send before he chickened out. He hastily closed his phone and shoved the device into his pants pocket.

 

\-----

 

Karasuno’s volleyball team was currently in their club room, with the exception of the coaches and the managers. The room full of teenage boys jumped at the sound of phones vibrating. Every one of them checked their phones to see who had gotten a message. With each of them seeing their screens, the air in the room got thick with silence, anxiety, dread.

 

_ Group Name: Volleyball Club _

_ To: Daichi-san, Suga-san, Asahi-san, Tanaka-senpai, Noya-senpai, Ennoshita-san, Narita-san, Kinoshita-san, Yama, TsundereTsuki, BaKageyama, Coach, Takeda-sensei, Shimizu-san _

_ From: Hinata _

_ Subject: I’m coming back today. _

 

_ Can we talk? _

 

Many thoughts were swirling through the team’s heads. On one side, Hinata was coming back to school today. That was great! That meant that Shouyou was even just a little bit better than he was when they last saw him. It was certainly good news. Definitely. But on the other hand, Shouyou’s message was vague and left a bad taste in their mouths.  _ ‘Can we talk?’  _ What did that mean? There were no other details included in the message. There were no emojis or extra exclamation points that they were all so used to seeing when getting a message from Shouyou. It was short and to the point. It sounded so serious, and could be interpreted in so many different ways.

 

“What do you think he means?” Tanaka, not surprisingly, was the first to break the silence. The second year looked up at his peers, waiting for an answer that no one had.

 

“I don’t know.” Daichi responded with a frown. He stuffed his phone back into his bag. “We’ll just have to wait until he gets here.”   
  


Sugawara copied the captains movements. “Daichi’s right. For now, let’s all get to the gym.”

 

All at once, everyone started to move. They all filtered out of the clubroom and toward the gym. When they walked inside, the group of noticed their coach and advisor quietly speaking amongst themselves, their phones in hand. Shouyou had sent them the message too, along with Kiyoko. The team’s newest member, Hitoka Yachi--a small first year girl that Kiyoko had recruited--looked around with furrowed eyebrows. She didn’t know Shouyou, or anything about their missing member. A week ago the team was measured again to get their uniforms resized for the Spring tournament. When the team got their uniforms back, the team had to try them on to make sure that the uniforms fit. Yachi had asked why there was a gap in the numbers, between jersey nine and eleven. That was the first time they told her about Hinata, but no one mentioned why he was absent. “Shimizu-san?” Yachi looked up at Kiyoko, but the older manager shook her head.

 

“I’ll tell you about it later.” Kiyoko smiled softly, and the smaller blonde haired girl nodded her hair.

 

Throughout the first half hour was morning practice, the team was visibly tense. They missed tossed and spikes, moving slower than usual. Yachi had never seen them have such an off day. Ukai, nor Takeda, commented on it though. The two adults were awfully quiet themselves. Reaching forty minutes into practice, the gym doors slid open. Everyone paused in their spots, whipping to look at the figure in the doors.

 

Shouyou was standing there, head tilted down and his right hand running up and down his left arm. “S-sorry I’m late. I had to get somethings cleared up in the faculty office.” The boy muttered, glancing up at his team.

 

“Sh-Shouyou!” Nishinoya screeched, running toward the ginger. The libero stretched his arms around the boy and pulled the first year into a tight hug. Slowly, the rest of the time lined up to greet Shouyou.

 

“How are you Shouyou?” Sugawara asked with a small smile.

 

Shouyou looked up at the ashen haired third year. “I’m okay..I guess.” He shrugged, followed by an airy, awkward chuckle. “I-is practice over?”

 

“We’re just about done for the day.” Ukai announced, before anyone else could say otherwise. “You said you wanted to talk Hinata?”

 

Shouyou stiffened, which was easily noticed by his team. “Um, yeah. If that’s okay.”

 

Takeda smiled as encouragingly as possible. “Of course, Hinata.” The team migrated to the benches, where they sat on the floor around Shouyou--who was too anxious to sit with them.

 

“First Hinata-kun, I’d like to introduce you to the team’s newest manager.” Kiyoko spoke, motioning to the blonde girl besides her. “This is Hitoka, Yachi.” The girl bowed her head swiftly, greeting Shouyou.

 

“I-it’s nice to finally meet you Hinata-kun!” Yachi stuttered, shyly.

 

Shouyou tensed up even further. “A-ah, Yes. N-nice to meet you, Hi-Hitoka-san.” The boy bowed back to the girl. After the introduction, Shouyou turned back to the team. Having a new face in the crowd was even more nerve wracking than having just the others around. But Shouyou took a deep breath, in an attempt to calm himself. The reassuring ‘take your time’ from Asahi made Shouyou feel a lot better. With another breath, Shouyou bowed to the team. “First I want to apologize for the way I’ve been rudely ignoring you all for the past two weeks. Even after all of your help, I pushed you all away again and even ignored you. I’m sorry.”

 

“Hinata.” Daichi frowned. “You don’t have to apologize for that.”

 

“Yeah, idiot.” Kageyama scowled. “It’s understandable after everything that happened. No one’s mad at you.”

 

Shouyou stood up straight, biting his lips again. “Even if you say that, I’d still like to apologize. I’m really thankful for all of your support and help. There’s nothing I can do to pay back even a fraction of the help you all gave me.” Shouyou paused to breathe. “Also, I’m sorry that I pushed you all away at first. I was scared for myself and my sister. I’m sorry that you all found out the way you did, and if I could turn back time, I’d ask for your help because I know much better now that you guys are all here and I’m grateful.” Shouyou took another breath and stood up straight. He pushed his shoulders down and smiled at his team. “Finally, I want to tell you guys that I’m going to try and get better. It may not happen right away, but I’m gonna try. I’m seriously sick of being sad all the time. So this time, I’m going to ask properly.” Shouyou bowed in a perfectly 90 degree angle, hands plastered to his sides. “Please continue to help and support me.”

 

The gym was silent. Shouyou’s word processing in the team’s heads.

 

“SHOUYOU!” “HINATA!” Tanaka and Nishinoya propelled themselves forward, tackling the auburn haired teen to the ground. “OF COURSE WE’LL SUPPORT YOU!!” The two second years wailed with tears streaming down their cheeks.

 

The rest of the team--excluding the poor, confused Yachi--began to tear up and cry. Daichi hid his crying by laughing  deeply, working on detaching Nishinoya and Tanaka from the small middle blocker. Sugawara tears came out freely, pulling Shouyou up off the ground and into his arms. Asahi cried, clapping his hands joyfully. Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita piled around Sugawara, patting Shouyou’s head and rubbing his back. Yamaguchi cried openly, taking Shouyou into a hug after Sugawara was finally willing to let the ginger go. Tsukishima hid his tears by pretending to clean his glasses, muttering ‘about time shrimp.’ Kageyama rolled his eyes and scowled, his own way of hiding the absolute relief and happiness. Kiyoko was the next person to hug Shouyou. Ukai clapped the decoy on the back and Takeda ruffled Shouyou’s hair.

 

“Um, excuse me.” The moment was ruined by Yachi’s confused voice. “But I don’t understand.” The team paused for a minute, before laughing good naturedly. Yachi squeaked, looking around at the volleyball members.

 

Kiyoko smiled. “May I explain Hinata-kun?” The third year manager asked softly.

 

“S-sure.” On the contrary, Shouyou sounded a bit unsure. “Hitoka-san is bound to find out sometime.” This time he sounded more confident. Kiyoko nodded her head, dismissing herself and Yachi to the girl’s locker room.

 

Ukai quickly dismissed morning practice, leaving back to tend to the Sakanoshita store at the bottom of the hill. Takeda excused himself to go to the faculty office before classes started. And the majority of the team left back to the club room to change into their uniforms, but not without giving Shouyou one more pat on the back, or ruffling his hair, or saying ‘glad to have you back.’

 

Shouyou sighed, glad that that was all over. Someone cleared their throat behind him. Shouyou spun around on his heels, coming face-to-face with Tsukishima and Kageyama. The smaller first year was a bit surprised to see the two of them. They could hardly stand one another, so occurrences like this were beyond rare. “C-can I help you?” Shouyou asked unsurely.

 

“You’re really okay, Hinata?” Kageyama questioned, eyes narrowing. If Shouyou didn’t know the setter like he did, the ginger would have thought that Kageyama wanted to kill him at this moment. But over the few months that the middle blocker and setter have been working together, Shouyou knew how to read Kageyama better. He could see that the raven haired teen was genuinely concerned.

 

“Y-yeah..Well, no..” The answer made the taller two stiffen. “B-but, I’m doing better..Promise.” Shouyou smiled ever so slightly. Kageyama and Tsukishima relaxed again.

 

“Good.” Kageyama glanced in between the blonde and ginger, before walking toward the gym door. “See you in class, idiot.” Shouyou hummed in response.

 

Tsukishima and Shouyou were left in an awkward silence. Neither looking at the other, and not saying a word. Tsukishima sighed, opening his mouth to speak, but Shouyou beat him to it. “You promised you wouldn’t say anything back then.” Tsukishima frowned at that. Apparently the two have been thinking about the same thing. “You betrayed my trust.”

 

“It was for your own good.” Tsukishima answered. Shouyou looked at the blonde skeptically.   
  
“Was it?” Shouyou bit back.

Tsukishima’s hazel eyes met Shouyou’s golden-brown. “Yes, it was.” The taller male stated firmly. “I wasn’t going to watch you keep showing up with injuries that got worse by the day. The team was already skeptical, I just helped push them in the right direction.”

 

“You promised though.” Shouyou replied, glaring up at the blonde. “What if everything turned out worse than what it is now?”

 

“I was willing to take the risk because you were suffering; physically, mentally, emotionally.” Tsukishima retored. “It’s not like we liked each other before this, so at the time I was fine with you hating me even more than you already did. As long as you got out of that place.”

 

Shouyou scoffed. “How did you benefit from this? You seem like that type of person?”

 

“How did I benefit?” Tsukishima repeated. “I benefited because I didn’t have to keep hiding that I knew about what was happening in your home. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows knowing that your friend--and dare I say it--is being abused and you’re forced to keep quiet about it. Telling the others meant that something could’ve been done.”

 

“F-friend?” Shouyou tilted his head. Tsukishima’s face turned pink.

 

“Shut up.” Tsukishima growled, though there wasn’t any real bite. “If you tell anyone I said that, I swear--”

 

Shouyou cut him off. “I won’t.” The smaller male assured. “But thanks. Even though it really hurt that you broke our promise..I’m glad it’s all over. So thanks..I guess.”

 

Tsukishima took a small breath, staring down at Shouyou. “Your welcome.” He muttered, turning to walk away. “Hurry up. Class is going to start soon.”

 

“Yeah. Class.” Shouyou repeated. With the smallest of smiles, Shouyou followed after Tsukishima, closing the gym doors behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for everyone staying so loyal to this fic!! I literally love you all. I didn't expect such a positive response to this!! THANK YOU LOVES!!
> 
> Stay tuned. Shits gonna get real.


	12. Ready for Camp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long filler. ;)
> 
> Sorry for my temporary hiatus. I honestly don't even have an excuse.
> 
> I promise things are going to happen in the next chapter. Nekoma (Kuroo and Kenma lol) will finally find out what happened.

After talking with Tsukishima, the blonde parted ways with Shouyou to change in the locker rooms. Since Shouyou didn’t participate in practice, he was already in his school uniform. Shouyou went ahead to his homeroom instead, deciding against waiting for Kageyama. The ginger noticed that there were many students on campus now. Shouyou didn’t fail to notice all of the stares he was receiving. How the other students were looking at him with judgemental gazes and spoke in hushed whispers after he passed them in the hall. Shouyou averted his gaze to the floor, solely focusing on getting to his class.

 

When he got to his homeroom, Shouyou could already hear people waiting inside. He didn’t want to go inside. Besides making amends with his team, Shouyou regretted coming back to school. He just wanted to go back home, well to Oikawa’s home. He took a couple of small breaths, in and out. Once Shouyou felt calm enough, he slid the door open and stepped inside. But as soon as he stepped inside, many pairs of eyes turned to stare at him. Shouyou blinked owlishly back at his classmates. He couldn’t help twisting his fingers around the bottom of his shirt and turning his gaze to the ground.

 

The whispers started again as Shouyou made his way to his old desk. He hung his school bag on the little, metal hook on the right side of the table. The chair screeched against the floor when Shouyou pulled out his chair. He quickly took his seat, avoiding eye contact with his classmates. “Hinata.” Shouyou flinched, as a voice called his name. Seconds later a figure appeared next to Shouyou. The smaller first year hesitated to look up at the person who had called his name. When Shouyou finally managed to look up completely, he realized that it was one of his friends; someone that he hung around with--albeit minimally--before everything happened. “You’re--uh--finally back.” The other boy chuckled awkwardly. His short, light brown hair swayed as he shifted from side to side. “It’s been awhile...huh?”

 

Shouyou bit his lip, grasping at the bottom of his sweater and tried to smile back. “Y-yeah.” The single word trailed back into silence, thickening the tension around the two first years and the rest of the classroom.

 

Another student came up on Shouyou’s other side. A girl that Shouyou used to talk to. She was on the girl’s softball team. “What happened to you Hinata? You just stopped coming to school all of a sudden.” The girl asked bluntly, with a wide, curious smile curling her lips. Shouyou noticed how she rocked back and forth on her heels and how her right index finger twisted the end of her ponytail.

 

“I-um..I just--it’s..” Shouyou stuttered. He didn’t know what to say and he certainly didn’t want these people to know. Afterall, he had just barely accepted the fact that the rest of his volleyball team knew about his struggles. Having the rest of his class--and probably the rest of the school, soon after--know was not appealing in the slightest. Shouyou noticed that even though no one else in the classroom was approaching him, they all glanced over their shoulders. They were all listening to every single word that he was saying. All of a sudden Shouyou felt overwhelmed with the amount of people present. There were just too many people looking at him, listening to him.

 

The door to the classroom slammed open with a loud  _ BAM _ ! All heads turned to the culprit. Standing at the doorway were three people, all of which Shouyou recognized immediately.

 

Kageyama. Tsukishima. Yamaguchi.

 

Their eyes were narrowed and their lips twitched into a frown. Kageyama and Tsukishima openly glared at the people in the room, whilst Yamaguchi simply looked like a scolding mother. Nonetheless, it was clear to see that the three other volleyball first years were not happy. Kageyama entered the class, practically stomping his way over to Shouyou’s desk. He glared at the boy and girl that were previously conversing with Shouyou. Kageyama turned his eyes back to his partner. “You don’t need to answer that Hinata.” The setter grumbled, eyeing the others in the class. “You don’t need to answer  _ anybody’s _ questions.”

 

“That’s right Shouyou.” Yamaguchi entered the room, coming up to the smaller first year. He ruffled Shouyou’s hair. “Don’t force yourself okay?” The ginger nodded at the evergreen haired pinch server. “Tsukki and I will come for lunch. See you later.” Yamaguchi waved and left to his and Tsukishima’s homeroom.

 

Kageyama looked around the room again. “If you don’t want to talk to them, just say it to them straight. Idiot.” Kageyama rolled his eyes. The setter turned around and went his seat.

 

Soon after that, the bell rang for morning classes to start.

 

\-----

 

Classes were dismissed for lunch. Shouyou sighed, stretching in his seat. He had forgotten how boring learning was. During lessons, he had also realized how far behind he was. Shouyou sighed again, leaning to his right, where a boy sat at the desk beside him. “Hey, Shiro-san…?” Shouyou called softly. The said boy turned his head toward Shouyou. “M-mind if I take pictures of your notes? The o-ones that I missed?” Shouyou’s classmate was stunned into silence because Shouyou never asked to copy notes--only homework. Everyone in their class knew that, and possibly everyone in their grade knew that. The auburn haired male frowned at the lack of response. “I-is that a no?”

 

“A-ah! Sorry! Notes you said?” The boy shook his head. Shouyou nodded back. “Yeah, um, here.” He handed the ginger his notebook.

 

“Thanks.” Shouyou tried to smile casually, but anyone could see that it was forced. “It won’t take long.” Shouyou turned away, just as Kageyama was pushing three other desks to line up with the small middle blocker’s. Kageyama sat down wordlessly, looking at Shouyou carefully. Shouyou blinked at his partner. “S-something wrong?” Kageyama shook his head. Nothing was wrong. He just wanted to make sure that Shouyou was okay. Early that morning, the boy had seemed so overwhelmed by the question, ‘what happened?’ And if Kageyama was being honest, he didn’t think that Shouyou was mentally and emotionally ready to be coming back to school. It’s only been two weeks, and what Shouyou went through wasn’t something that he could bounce back from so easily. It would take time. And that time wasn’t now.

 

“Hey Shouyou. Kageyama.” Yamaguchi’s voice interrupted Kageyama’s train of thought. The small middle blocker and setter looked up at the other two first years on their team. “How was class, Shouyou?” Yamaguchi questioned, immediately striking up a conversation with Shouyou.

 

Shouyou shrugged, turning to the next page in his classmates notebook. “Um, it’s hard. I don’t understand anything.” He laughed sheepishly. “I didn’t realized how far ahead you all got. So that’s why I’m taking pictures of all the notes I missed.” Shouyou tapped the keys on his phone and turned the page again, repeating the action over and over.

 

Yamaguchi nodded. “Understandable.” He grinned and patted Shouyou’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it though. I’ll tutor you, and I’m sure Tsukki will tutor you in English. And Yachi-san, our new manager, she’s in the honors classes. I’m positive she’ll help you out too.”

 

Shouyou looked back at Yamaguchi, like the evergreen male was a saint. “Really?”

 

The pinch server laughed. “Yeah. Lately, Yachi-san has been tutoring Kageyama.” Shouyou looked at the setter with wide eyes.

 

Kageyama clicked his tongue and glared at Shouyou in response. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m only studying because if I don’t, I can’t go to the camp next week.” The tips on Kageyama’s ears went pink at the laughs of Yamaguchi and the small smile on Shouyou’s lips.

 

“Maybe I’ll ask after practice..” Shouyou said quietly, finishing taking pictures of the last few pages in his classmates notebook.  He closed the book and leaned over to hand the object back. “Thanks.” The other boy nodded his head, turning back to his friends. Shouyou turned back to his teammates as well.

 

“Hey.” Tsukishima called to Shouyou. The latter looked over to the blonde haired teen. “You’ve been living with Oikawa, right? How’s that going for you?”

 

The auburn haired teen didn’t know how to reply to that. He shrugged his shoulders. “Come on.” Yamaguchi whined. “You’re living with our rivals that beat us at the Inter High! There’s got to be something that you could tell us.” The evergreen boy nudged playfully. Shouyou noticed how Yamaguchi was a lot more outspoken now.

 

“Yeah, tell us some of Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s weaknesses.” Kageyama said, blue eyes sparkling with interest.

  
Shouyou shook his head with a tiny smile. “I haven’t been looking for that.” Yamaguchi snapped his fingers, Kageyama clicked his tongue, and Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “But living there is fine.” The trio glanced at Shouyou, as the smaller first year turned to look down at his desk. “Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san have been really helpful. They’re always checking on me, and everything. And Mrs. Oikawa, letting Natsu and I stay there..” Shouyou trailed off, thinking about all the help he’s gotten.

 

“Idiot.” Shouyou snapped his head up and stared at his partner. “Of course people are helping you.” Kageyama got up quickly, his chair squeaking against the tiled floor. “I’m gonna get a drink.” And with that, the blue eyed setter stalked out of the room. The actions confused Shouyou. Kageyama seemed mad.

 

“Kageyama’s probably still irritated.” Yamaguchi frowned, turning to pat Shouyou’s shoulder. “Don’t mind.”

 

“Irritated about what?” Shouyou questioned the pinch server. Yamaguchi chuckled nervously, eyes looking away and lightly scratching his cheek.

 

Tsukishima looked in between his best friend and the small middle blocker. Shouyou turned to him, waiting with curious eyes. “The King is still pretty mad that he was one of the last to find out.” Shouyou frowned, staring at the door in which his partner had disappeared out the classroom door. “You should talk to the King.”

 

Shouyou nodded, “I’ll talk to him.”

 

\-----

 

The rest of the day went by pretty slowly. Shouyou was tired. As the day went on, Shouyou had collected a lot of makeup work that he had to complete in the next two weeks. The teen sighed, collecting all of his work and putting it inside his bag. He threw his bag over his shoulder and left class. Kageyama had left ahead of him in order to change. There was no point in Shouyou hurrying. As far as he knew, Shouyou was still not allowed to play in practice.

 

Shouyou got to the gym, switching his outdoor shoes to his volleyball shoes. The boy opened the door to the gym and walked inside. Already waiting there were Ukai and Takeda, speaking to one another. “Hello.” Shouyou called. His voice was quiet--although not as quiet as it’s been in the past few weeks--and obviously laced with exhaustion. The two instructors turned away from each other and greeted Shouyou.

 

“Hello, Hinata-kun.” Takeda smiled. “How was your first day back?” The third year english teacher questioned. The teacher couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips at the face that Shouyou made--eyes clenched shut, nose crinkled, and tongue sticking out.

 

The ginger set his bag down next the bench. “It was boring.” Shouyou whined. “I have so much makeup work to complete.” He plopped down on the bench, whilst rubbing his eyes. “With everything going on and with all the days I missed, I got so far behind in work.”

 

Though Ukai and Takeda knew that Shouyou didn’t mean anything by it, the two adults felt a short stab in their chest. Shouyou had been through a lot, with getting hospitalized, his father getting arrested, and having to live temporarily with the Oikawa’s because no family was willing to adopt both Shouyou and Natsu. The two teachers knew how the adoption process worked. A lot of paperwork and meetings were in order, and because of Shouyou’s age, no one would want to adopt him. A lot of people had probably tried to adopt Natsu, since she was still young. Takeda, nor Ukai, would be able to stand it if Shouyou lost his sister to the adoption system. He’d probably break completely.

 

“I’m sure you’ll catch up in no time, Hinata.” Ukai grunted, in an attempt to comfort the boy.

 

Shouyou pursed his lips. He wasn’t too sure about that, but he’d have to make the effort. “I guess.” The gym went silent, as the three waited for the rest of the team to finish in the locker rooms. “Coach?” Ukai looked away from the clipboard in his hands, and down at Shouyou. “Kageyama told me that there’s a training camp next week.”

 

The coach hummed, “Yeah, there is. Nekomata-sensei invited us to practice with them and other schools in the Tokyo prefecture. We’ll be practicing for the Spring High.” Ukai watched Shouyou’s expression carefully. Of course he knew how much Shouyou wanted to be back on the team, to play with everyone again. But Ukai couldn’t take the risk with Shouyou’s mental stability still fluctuating. It could go two ways at this point. Either playing volleyball again has a positive effect on Shouyou, and the boy slowly begins to get better. Or Shouyou finds that his body won’t move the way it used to, and he breaks down even worse than before.

 

“I see.” Shouyou blinked at the floor. “Could I come?” The question wasn’t something that Ukai, nor Takeda, hadn’t seen coming. Obviously Shouyou wanted to come. Before either of the adults could speak, Shouyou added, “I know I can’t play, but I’d like to be there with the team still.”

 

“Hinata-kun..” Takeda whispered. “We know how much you want to play, but-”

 

“With everything Hinata, we need you to make a complete recovery. That doesn’t mean just physically, but mentally too.” Ukai continued. “We don’t want things to repeat itself, and for you to get hurt again.”

 

Shouyou looked at the two with a shocking smile. “I know.” The ginger laughed quietly. “I thought about it, a lot. How much I want to be on the court and I understand that if I’m not ready, I could fall back into that darkness. Volleyball is the last physical thing I have of my mom, who told me that I could play when everyone else said that I couldn’t. I don’t want to play when there’s that big of a risk, and taint the good memories I have of volleyball. So even if I get impatient and really want to be on the court, I won’t allow myself before I’m ready.” Shoyou stared at the palms of his hands, imagining the stinging sensation of spiking a volleyball. “But I want to come to the camp. Because even if I can’t play, there’s a lot I can learn in technicality.”

 

Ukai and Takeda stared at Shouyou in utter silence. They were shocked. When had Shouyou grown so much without them looking? Grins stretched upon the two adult’s faces. “Okay.” Ukai bellowed loudly. “If you say it like that, then I have to let you come, huh?” Shouyou’s brown eyes shone.

 

Takeda pulled a paper from his bag, holding it out for the first year to take. “Make sure you get this signed then, and bring it back as soon as possible.” Shouyou nodded his head, taking the paper with a smile.

 

\-----

 

Shouyou got back home rather quickly. It was five minutes before eight o’clock when Shouyou unlocked the front door to the Oikawa residence. “I’m back.” He called, while slipping off his shoes. The smell of food wafted from the kitchen. Shouyou placed his bag down near the stairs, so he’d remember to bring it upstairs later. The first year turned into the kitchen, seeing Oikawa plating food. “Where’s Mrs. Oikawa?”

 

“Ah, welcome back Shou-chan.” Oikawa turned to look at the ginger from over his shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. And my mom is working late at the hospital. Natsu is upstairs playing. She already completed her homework.” Oikawa turned back to the food. “Can you bring these to the table, Shou-chan?”   
  


Shouyou hummed in response, walking over to Oikawa. There were three bowls of rice sitting on the counter beside the older student. “Just these?” Shouyou asked. Oikawa glanced over and nodded. Shouyou picked up two of the bowls and headed to set them down on the table. When getting the third bowl, Shouyou noticed that Oikawa was now transferring the rest of the food onto a seperate plate.

 

“When you’re done taking that, can you get Natsu?” Oikawa asked, bringing the rest of dinner to the table. Shouyou didn’t even reply, setting the bowl down. The teen exited the kitchen and went to the stairs. He picked up his bag to drop it off in his room before getting his sister. Shouyou slowly moved up the steps. He stopped by his room, setting his school bag inside, by the door. The boy closed his door again, and went to the second guest bedroom where his little sister was playing.

 

“Natsu.” Shouyou called, rasping his knuckles against the wooden door. There was giggling from the other side, before the door swung open. Shouyou was thrown back as a small force crashed into his stomach. “Geh!” The boy grunted, wrapping his arms around Natsu to shield her from hitting her head on the floor. Shouyou groaned, eyes shut in attempt to will away the dizziness that he knew would come.

 

“Nii-chan!” Natsu giggled into her brother’s chest.

 

“Oi!” Oikawa called from the bottom of the stairs. “What was that!? Are you two okay?” The older male called.

 

Shouyou lifted both himself and Natsu into a sitting position. “Y-yeah!” Shouyou replied to Oikawa. “We’re fine.” The third year downstairs answered with an ‘okay,’ before going back to whatever he was doing before. The older Hinata turned to look down at Natsu, who was grinning cheekily. “That’s not funny you know.” He stated, but the girl only laughed louder. Shouyou shook his head.

 

Natsu shoved a brightly colored paper into Shouyou’s face. “I drew a picture for you nii-chan!” She squealed happily.

 

Shouyou caught a quick glance, before standing up and pulling his kid sister up with him. “It looks nice Natsu, but it’s time to eat now. You can show me properly after dinner okay?”

 

“‘Kay!” Natsu folded the paper up and neatly placed it into the pocket of her shorts that she was wearing. The girl turned and skipped down the hall, and bouncing down the stairs.

 

“Careful.” Shouyou warned and followed after the girl.

 

\-----

 

Natsu was upstairs again, getting ready for bed. Shouyou was in the kitchen with Oikawa, helping the latter with dishes. “How was your first say back Shou-chan?” Oikawa broke the silence, looking down at the boy that has been living with him.

 

The smaller male pursed his lips. “Stressful.”

 

The setter chuckled. “Must have a lot of worked lined up, huh?” He looked down at Shouyou expectantly. The first year nodded back with a frown. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll tutor you.” Shouyou looked up at Oikawa with a small, thankful grin.

 

“That’d be tons of help!” Shouyou finished drying the last of the dishes, when the front door opened.

 

“I’m back.” The voice of Mrs. Oikawa rang through the house. “Boys? Natsu? You home?” She called.

 

Oikawa dried his hands. “We’re in the kitchen, mom.” He called. Mrs. Oikawa stepped inside her kitchen, smiling at her son and Shouyou. “Welcome back.” Oikawa went over to his mother, placing a kiss on her cheek. The woman smiled.

 

“Welcome home, Mrs. Oikawa.” Shouyou greeted.

 

“How was your boys’ day?” The older woman questioned, setting her belongings on the dining table. Oikawa waved his hand, muttering ‘same as always.’

 

Shouyou smiled, shrugging. “Nothing much happened.” Shouyou thought back to his training camp. He had to get a signature of approval in order to go to camp. “Um, Mrs. Oikawa?” The said woman looked toward Shouyou, who was putting away the last dried dish. The boy turned around to face the woman that was housing him. The brunette haired woman hummed, patiently awaiting with a smile on her face. “C-can I go to a training camp with my volleyball team next week?” Both Oikawa and his mother looked skeptical, but before either of them could say anything, Shouyou continued. “I won’t be participating in any games, but I just want to be there with them.” He looked down. The sense of anxiety bubbled in his stomach, as Shouyou waited for any kind of response.

 

Mrs. Oikawa sighed, before laughing quietly. Shouyou looked up at the sound. The older woman was hiding her smile behind her hand. Her eyes were closed and crinkled at the corners. “You and Tooru are just alike.” She opened her eyes and looked fondly at Shouyou. “When Tooru was little, he broke his arm in a volleyball game. Even though he was banned from volleyball for six weeks, he still wanted to go to all the practices and training camps that his team did.” Shouyou blinked, looking between Oikawa and his mom. The older high schooler blushed, turning his head away from Shouyou to hide his pout. “If you really want to go, I’ll sign your permission slip.”

 

“Really?” Shouyou smiled slightly, eagerly staring at Mrs. Oikawa.

 

The woman laughed, nodding her head. “Yes. Now give the paper here.” Shouyou rushed back upstairs and into his temporary room. He searched through his piles of makeup work and finally found his permission slip. The first year pulled the paper out and all but ran back down the stairs, into the kitchen. He handed the paper to Oikawa’s mother, and watched as black ink danced along the white paper. Mrs. Oikawa handed it back with another laugh.

 

Shouyou bowed his head. “Th-thank you!” It was hard for him to hide his excitement. The sight of seeing Shouyou so happy made the Oikawas’ grin.

 

\-----

 

Over the course of a week, Shouyou was better. Since he still couldn’t participate in practice, he spent a lot of his time studying. During lunch, he’d spend it with Yamaguchi tutoring him and Kageyama and Tsukishima just being there. Yachi even started eating lunch with them, letting Shouyou copy notes and explain things that Yamaguchi couldn’t. Shouyou grew to like Yachi, who was sweet and easily nervous. Having her around remind Shouyou that things were okay and that there was nothing to be worried about. Yachi practically the only one that didn’t look at Shouyou with judgemental eyes. She didn’t speak to him slowly or quietly and to top it all off, she was nice and easy to get along with.

 

Shouyou even started studying while in the gym during morning and afternoon practices. “Hinata-kun?” Takeda had asked him on Tuesday, couple days before the training camp. “Why don’t you study in the library or at home? Where it’s more quiet? You could probably concentrate better that way.”

 

The redhead didn’t look up from his paper or notebook, shaking his head. “I’m okay here, sensei.” Shouyou scrawled a couple more words down and smiled at the English teacher. “The sounds in the gym here are soothing. I can’t concentrate well if it’s completely quiet.” Shouyou’s eyes softened and the smile got smaller. “Honestly, it’s scary when things are quiet.” He had whispered, low enough for only the teacher to hear. And Takeda had never bothered Shouyou’s studying in the gym again.

 

When Shouyou wasn’t studying, he was drawing. He’d picked up on it on the Friday after his first day back. The first day went by easily enough, but the second day back seemed even more difficult. Shouyou couldn’t focus at all that day, having to get notes from Shiro-san again and getting Tsukishima to work with him during lunch. When classes started up again after lunch, Shouyou had been too distracted and started drawing in his notebook.

 

Later that day, during practice, Tanaka had seen the picture Shouyou had drawn while the latter was studying. “You should draw more Hinata.” The wing spiker grinned cheekily. “You’re really good. It’s surprising to see that you’re good at something other than volleyball.” After hearing that comment, everyone on the team had seen and complimented the picture.

 

Finally a full week had passed and it was time for the training camp.

 

Shouyou stepped out of Mrs. Oikawa’s car that was parked in front of his school. The teen turned around to pull his bag out from the back seat. Oikawa was sitting in the passenger’s side and Natsu was barely awake in the back. “I’m going now, Natsu.” Shouyou whispered, ruffling his baby sister’s hair. The girl smiled sleepily, slipping her arms around her brother’s neck.

 

“Have fun, nii-chan.” Natsu pulled away and gave a close eyed smile. “And come back soon.”

 

Shouyou chuckled, nodding his head. He closed the back door and looked at Oikawa and Mrs. Oikawa. “Thank you for dropping me off so late.” The woman behind the wheel waved her hand.

 

“Nonsense, Shouyou.” Mrs. Oikawa smiled at the first year that’s been living with her. “If you need anything, let me know.” Shouyou nodded at her. “Have fun at camp. Don’t strain yourself, you hear me?”

 

Shouyou laughed. “Yes ma’am.”

 

“Take things easy for the next few days, Shou-chan.” Oikawa stated. “If you feel lonely, feel free to call at any time.” The setter said with a teasing smile. The ginger rolled his eyes at that, but nodded nonetheless.

 

With that, the car drove off. Shouyou turned around and walked toward the bus that was waiting a good fifteen feet away. “Hello.” He greeted Asahi, Daichi, and Ennoshita, who were all the first to arrive. The three turned toward the small male, quietly saying their own greeting.

 

“Excited, Hinata?” Ennoshita questioned fondly. It was easy to see the gleam in Shouyou’s eyes. The first year smiled shyly, rubbing his right arms. “You don’t have to hide it.” The second year chuckled, along with the captain and ace.

 

Asahi ruffled Shouyou’s hair--which everyone did nowadays. “It’s good to be excited.”

 

“Honestly, I’m nervous too.” Shouyou bit his lip, glancing at his upperclassmen before looking toward the ground. “It’s been a while since I we saw Nekoma. I texted with Kenma, their setter, before everything happened. But lately, I’ve been ignoring his texts.” Shouyou looked back at the three in front of him. “Do you think he hates me now? For ignoring him?”

 

“Hating someone like you is basically impossible.” Shouyou spun around at the voice that came from behind him. Tsukishima had arrived with Yamaguchi, and trailing behind them was Sugawara and Nishinoya. The setter and libero snickered at Tsukishima’s attempt to stay passive. “Everyone agrees that you’re basically the sun. It’s be impossible to hate something like that.” Tsukishima wasn’t looking at Shouyou, but the ginger appreciated the sentiment.

 

“Thanks, Tsukki.” Shouyou teased, receiving a half hearted ‘shut up’ and ‘don’t call me that’ from Tsukishima in return. “I guess I’ll have to face him sometime.” Shouyou said, but it was more to himself than to the others.

 

Soon after Sugawara and Nishinoya, Kageyama came. He scowled at the sight of Shouyou beating him to the school, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead Kageyama focused on getting his bag into the storage on the side of the bus. Then, Tanaka appeared with Narita and Kinoshita on either side of him. Yachi and Kiyoko came a few minutes later. Takeda showed up as well, coming out from the school building with Ukai in tow. “Good. You’re all here on time. Then if we’re all packed up, let’s board the bus and get going.” Ukai ordered, hands on his hips.

 

“Please take care of us.” The volleyball team said and bowed at their two instructors.

 

Ukai waved his hand. “Yeah, yeah. You kids get on the bus already.”

 

One by one, the students gathered on the bus. Everyone sat with their usual bus partners, leaving Kageyama and Shouyou to share a seat. Shouyou sat at the window, watching as the bus slowly departed from Karasuno. He didn’t put in any effort of conversing with Kageyama, as he would usually do. Things were still awkward between them. The two didn’t go through all the effort of avoiding one another, but Shouyou could easily tell that Kageyama was still upset about finding out everything last. And the ginger hasn’t gotten up the courage to talk with Kageyama about it yet.

 

Kageyama, on the other hand, wasn’t upset anymore. But as usual, he couldn’t portray that in a way for Shouyou to understand. It’s always been hard for him to show what he was thinking or feeling. The setter glanced at Shouyou, who was sitting to his right. He was glad that Shouyou seemed to be doing even a little bit better. He certainly looked better. The purple bags under his eyes had lightened up finally. The natural rosy color came back to Shouyou’s cheeks. The light in his gold eyes was just a little bit bright nowadays too. Shouyou was even gaining a little bit of his weight back again. And according to Sugawara--who got regular updates from Oikawa and Iwaizumi--Shouyou has been cleaning for about three weeks now. That pleased Kageyama. The sight he’d found at the hospital that day had been scarring, and not just for him. Nishinoya, Takeda, Sugawara, those of them who had Shouyou’s blood stained to their hands and clothes.

 

“-BaKageyama.” The setter jumped, turning to Shouyou. The redhead pouted and pursed his lips. “You’re making a weird face.”

 

Blue eyes scanned Shouyou’s face. “No I wasn’t.” Kageyama turned his eyes to the front of the bus again, actively avoiding Shouyou’s own gaze. “And stop looking at me like that, dumbass.” He snapped at his partner, who was still staring at him.

 

Shouyou didn’t respond right away, continuing to observe Kageyama openly. Kageyama glared back at him. “What were you thinking about just now?” Shouyou asked quietly, eyes softening. Kageyama stiffened. He was surprised by the sudden meekness in the ginger’s voice.

 

Kageyama looked away again, this time staring at his hands on his lap. “Nothing, idiot.”

 

The middle blocker hummed, sitting up straight in his seat and turning his eyes forward. “Sorry.”

 

Shouyou’s voice was so quiet that Kageyama almost didn’t hear him. The raven haired teen looked at the other beside him with wide eyes. “For what?”

 

“You finding out last.” Shouyou didn’t hesitate. He didn’t want to beat around the bush anymore. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. It...that’s just the way things turned out.”

 

Kageyama huffed, looking ahead. “I know that.” He spared a quick glance at Shouyou, who still wasn’t looking back at him. “So don’t apologize dumbass. I’m over it.”

 

Shouyou chuckled, but Kageyama didn’t miss the way that the auburn haired boy’s shoulders relaxed. Kageyama was glad that the subject came up too, not that he’d admit that or anything.

 

\-----

 

Shouyou blinked his eyes open as someone shook him awake. The first thing he noticed was the bright yellow hair. Shouyou blinked. “Tsukishima?”

 

“Wake up shrimp. We’re at Fukurodani already.” Tsukishima grumbled. “Unless you want to stay here on the bus?” Shouyou shook his head and sat up. He stood up and followed the blonde off the vehicle. Tsukishima was quick to head toward Yamaguchi, not before sending a glance toward Shouyou. The latter smiled reassuringly. Shouyou was used to that glance. The one that people gave him when they thought that something was wrong. It was the only look that he didn’t mind getting from others.

 

“Everyone better behave.” Daichi looked over each one of his teammates. Ukai and Takeda had left to go greet the other coaches and advisors in the school’s main building. “I won’t tolerate any fooling around, understood?” The captain looked pointedly at Tanaka and Nishinoya, who whistled and avoided the third year’s stare. 

 

“Yo.” The Karasuno team turned to see two familiar faces coming toward them. It was Nekoma’s team captain, Kuroo Tetsuroo, and his vice captain, Nobuyuki Kai. The two cats stopped in front of the Karasuno team. “You’re finally here Karasuno?” Kuroo smiled slyly.” The opposing captain smiled lazily.

 

“Yeah.” Daichi met Kuroo face-to-face. “We got here later than anticipated.” Daichi held his hand out. “Nice to see you again, Nekoma.”

 

Kuroo took Daichi’s hand in a firm grip. “Likewise.”

 

“Wuoh~! Look Shouyou! Tokyo Tower!” Nishinoya gushed, pointing to a red and white cellular tower.

 

Shouyou turned his head to the direction that Tanaka and Nishinoya were pointing at. “Actually, that’s just a normal cell phone tower.” Nobuyuki corrected. The correction made Shouyou laugh at the deep blush that dusted over his upperclassmen’s cheeks.

 

“Don’t laugh Hinata!” Tanaka declared. “You looked because you thought it was Tokyo Tower too!” The second year huffed.

 

“Are you just going to stand there?” Tsukishima towered over the ginger. Shouyou tilted his head back, looking up at the blonde. The taller of the two glowered, but Shouyou was unaffected. “Well?”

 

“Sorry.” Shouyou moves out of the way. As Tsukishima and Yamaguchi passed him, the evergreen haired male ruffled his hair.

 

“Come on, Shouyou.” Yamaguchi motioned. Shouyou followed the two other first years from his team to the Fukurodani’s main building in order to drop their bags off inside. Kageyama stalked after them, wanting to hurry to practice. The four first years walked together to their team’s temporary room and dropped their bags off to the side.

 

“When you’re done setting your things aside, let’s head to the gym for practice.” Sugawara announced for the whole team to hear him. The vice captain got a simultaneous ‘yes’ in return. Sugawara headed to Shouyou, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Hey Shouyou.” The first year hummed in response. Sugawara was worried that Shouyou would feel left out during the training camp, but the auburn haired boy didn’t look bothered in the slightest. “If you ever feel like everything is too much, then you can always call me out during practice.”

 

Shouyou spun around, wrinkling his nose and sticking his tongue out. “That won’t be necessary Suga-san.” Sugawara was taken aback when his underclassman gave a small, reassuring smile. “You need to get ready for the spring tournament too. Besides, I’ll be fine.” Shouyou spared a quick glance around the room at his teammates, then looking back at his senior in front of him. “I’ve already spoke to Shimizu-san and Yachi-san. I’ll be helping them out with the manager things. So I’ll be pretty busy myself.”

 

Sugawara chuckled. “That’s good.”

 

“Yup.” Shouyou nodded to himself. “Since I can’t play, I want to support you all in anyway I can.”

 

The third year was glad that Shouyou was doing better. He was trying to get things back to normal. He didn’t seem tired anymore, like when he was in the hospital. Sugawara would never forget how Shouyou trembled in his arms; how the first year clung to him and didn’t want him to leave. Now the ginger was smiling, albeit slightly. But it was progress and Sugawara was so proud of how strong Shouyou was. “I still want to make sure.” Sugawara stated. “The other team’s coaches have probably been in informed--” The way Shouyou tensed up briefly didn’t go unnoticed. “--vaguely--” Sugawara added, “about why you’re not playing. But I can’t say the same about the other teams.”

 

Shouyou tilted his head to the floor. He twisted his fingers together and harshly chewed on his bottom lip. “W-will I have--”

 

Sugawara stopped Shouyou mid-sentence. “Of course not.” He said firmly. “If you don’t feel comfortable answering questions, then you don’t have to answer them.”

 

Daichi appeared at his vice captains side, his expression dark. “Of course, if they still don’t back down, come find me.” Shouyou hesitated, before nodding his head.


	13. Anxiety

With Karasuno finally settled and leaving toward the gym, Shouyou felt his anxiety build up. He was okay, until Sugawara had brought up the fact that he might be questioned. He was okay until he thought about the pitying stares he’d be getting again, just like the ones he’d gotten when he came back to school after two full weeks. The weight on his shoulders was heavy enough with the stress of his team treating him like glass. Shouyou didn’t think he’d be able to handle Nekoma, who he’s played against before, looking at him with those eyes. Those eyes that held sympathy and concern. Shouyou hated that look more than anything else.  
Shouyou jumped at the hand that was firmly gripped his shoulder. He turned to see Asahi smiling down at him. “Deep breaths.” He said quietly. In an instant Shouyou felt a wave of warmth wash over him. His body relaxed--which had unconsciously tensed up. “The team is here to support you too.”  
“Thanks, Asahi-san.” Shouyou murmured. He was grateful to Asahi the most because whenever Shouyou saw the black creeping from the corners of his eyes, it was the ace’s voice that made everything bright again. The third year was just so calm and soothing. It was easy for Asahi to pull Shouyou from his panic attack, when anyone else could worsen it. Shouyou took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly through his mouth.  
“Thank you for having us!” The Karasuno team greeted as they entered Fukurodani’s main gym. The four other teams that were included in the training camp greeted the Miyagi team back.  
Ukai and Takeda stepped up to their team. “You all ready to practice?” Ukai questioned. A series of ‘yes’s’ came from the group of high school students. Ukai explained that the training camp revolved around practice matches against the other schools and that after every loss, a punishment followed.  
“Hinata-kun.” Shouyou turned away from Ukai’s explanation, seeing Kiyoko and Yachi standing off to the side. The older manager was waving her hand, motioning for Shouyou to come to her. Quietly, Shouyou slipped away from his spot besides Yamaguchi, who was another calming presence to him.  
“Yes, Shimizu-san?” Shouyou waited for the third year to speak.  
“You’ll be helping me and Hitoka-chan.” Kiyoko received an affirmative nod from the ginger. “Right now we’re going to go fill the bottles.”  
Shouyou nodded, and followed the two managers over to the crate of bottle for their team. “I’ll carry them, Shimizu-san.” The first year easily picked up the crate of empty bottles. Shouyou was completely unaware of another pair of golden eyes that followed him until he had completely exited the gym.  
“The first team we’ll be playing against is Nekoma, naturally.” Ukai smirked at his students. “For the starting line up, we’ll keep using the members from Inter-High. Since Hinata isn’t ready to come back yet, we’ll rotate between Ennoshita, Sugawara, and Narita every other game. Understand?” The young coach looked at the three aforementioned members. “We’ll practice our plays with two setters, and since we lost our middle blocker, Narita will be substituting.”  
The game between Nekoma and Karasuno was going to start soon, when Kuroo came up to Daichi again, tapping the latter on the shoulder. Daichi turned to face the lanky captain of Nekoma. “Is something wrong with Chibi-chan?” Kuroo asked, glancing around at the Karasuno members. “He went out with your managers right? Is he not playing?”  
Daichi sighed, bringing his right hand to rub the back of his neck. “Hinata’s on temporary leave from the team.”  
“Oh?” Kuroo hummed. “Why is that?”  
The captain was unaware of the dark expression that he gave Kuroo. The latter nearly flinched at the sight. “Personal issues.” Daichi said firmly, leaving no room for any other comment. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t pressure him to talk about it.” Though the statement seemed innocent enough, Kuroo could sense the unspoken threat that was underlining the words.  
Kuroo nodded, holding his hands up in a ‘surrender’ fashion. “Got it.”  
Dichi nodded back curtly, glad to have gotten his point across. “Let’s have a good game them.” The usual challenging spark returned to the captain’s eyes, as he held his hand out for a handshake. Kuroo returned the gesture firmly.  
When Shouyou came back into the gym with Kiyoko and Yachi following, the game between Karasuno and Nekoma had already started. Shouyou headed over to the bench where Ukai and Takeda sat, setting the heavy crate of full water bottles down on the floor. Shouyou’s eyes traveled to the scoreboard that was being monitored by two of Nekoma’s extra players. The score was seventeen to ten, with the cats in the lead. Shouyou clicked his tongue, as Yachi sat down on the bench beside him. Kiyoko sat to the right of Yachi, in between the blonde and Takeda. A notebook was already on the third year manager’s lap, ready to take down notes of the remainder of the game.  
It was at the moment that Shouyou felt alone. His team was out there playing on the court--even though it was only a practice match--and he was sitting on the sidelines. While everyone else worked on improving and sharpening their skills, Shouyou was getting weaker and falling behind. By the time he would be allowed on court again, Shouyou thought that his body would have long forgotten the movements of spiking and jumping. His stomach dropped and Shouyou suddenly felt sick. He clenched his jaw in an attempt to keep bile from rising in his throat.  
Shouyou tried to hear Asahi’s voice in his head, telling him to take deep breaths. He tried to ignore the yelling of ‘nice receive’ and ‘one more.’ Sounds he used to love were suddenly suffocating because they were there, on court, and he was here, useless.  
\-----  
Kozume Kenma is observant.  
He can pick out the smallest of details in the people around him. The skill was one of the reasons that his childhood friend, Kuroo, introduced him to volleyball as a setter. Being the setter meant that Kenma had to watch the other team carefully. Look for openings and weaknesses.  
It was an easy task for Kenma. But he didn’t think that his skill was anything special, even if Kuroo begged to differ. Kenma didn’t start having real confidence in himself until he met Shouyou before Inter-High. Shouyou was so bright and genuine. The first year was so authentic when complimenting people. How could that not give one confidence? Even for someone like Kenma.  
Very quickly, Kenma came to treasure Shouyou.  
The second year had decided to keep the ginger close.  
So when Shouyou started ignoring his texts a few weeks ago, Kenma knew instantly that something was wrong. Shouyou wasn’t one that just ignored texts. He was the type of person that replied instantly. And in the rare occasions that Shouyou forgets to reply to a text within five minutes, Kenma would get an apology text, followed by a long paragraph of an excuse with a million exclamation points and emoticons.  
It only proved that something was incredibly wrong with Shouyou when Kenma noticed that the bright first year wasn’t prepared to play in any of the scrimmages. Instead, Shouyou had left the gym with him managers to fill water bottles. Taking his place on court was a second year middle blocker, whom Kenma was not really familiar with.  
Temporarily distracted by the practice match, Kenma allowed himself to forget about his younger friend. Karasuno’s first year setter served the ball to the corner of the court. Nekoma’s libero, Yaku Morisuke, reacted quickly, digging up the serve and returning it easily to Kenma. The two toned setter placed himself under the falling ball. In the center, Kuroo bent his knees, glancing at his childhood friend. Kenma got the cue right away. The ball fell into the tips of his fingers and Kenma pushed the ball up to set for Kuroo. Karasuno’s two middle blockers and ace jumped, only to be taken by surprise when Kuroo hadn’t jumped yet. By the time the three blockers were falling, Kuroo was already in the air. Nekoma’s captain hit the ball down with all his strength.  
The score was twenty to fourteen now, still in the cat’s favor.  
Kenma panted, taking the collar of his practice shirt to wipe away the sweat dripping from his chin. His gold eyes glanced to the side again, easily attracted to the bright orange hair sitting on the bench.  
But something was off.  
Kenma turned his whole body in Shouyou’s direction. The ginger looked like he was distracted, with his eyes trained to the ground and his jaw tightened. Kenma noticed the slight shaking of Shouyou’s body, and the distant look in his eyes. And no one else seemed to realize this, but him.  
Something was definitely wrong.  
Before Kenma could say anything to one of the Karasuno members, Shouyou stood up. His mouth moved, speaking to his instructor and coach. The two adults nodded their heads, and Shouyou turned to leave the gym. It was then, that his team had noticed. Their eyes were staring at the door that Shouyou had disappeared through. It was clear that they were all worried, but no one made a move to go after him.  
Kenma studied his own team, who were also staring at the gym doors for Shouyou to come back inside.  
Shouyou didn’t come back inside for the rest of practice.  
\-----  
Shouyou quickly dismissed himself from the gym. The second the doors closed behind him, the first year ran to the nearest bathroom that he could find. Shouyou threw open one of the stall doors, kneeling beside the toilet. He gagged, spitting up bile. He didn’t know what caused him to feel so nauseous, but Shouyou chalked it up to stress and anxiety.  
Once he was done emptying out what little he had in his stomach, Shouyou leaned back. He breathed in slowly, and then exhaled through his mouth. Shouyou hasn’t felt this alone since the day Kageyama first told him about the training camp, when he was in his room at Oikawa’s house. He was the only one home, and it was lonely. He was actually lonely. So why, when he was surrounded by his friends, did he feel so alone?  
Shouyou scoffed at himself. He was pathetic. He had told his team that he’d get better. He’d told them that he was tired of being sad and depressed. He was going to get better. Shouyou had told Sugawara just half an hour ago that he’d be okay and that he’d support the team in any way he could. And here he was, hiding away in the bathroom because he was feeling alone.  
‘How much more selfish could I get?’ Shouyou thought to himself.  
The auburn haired male sighed, looking down at himself. His golden-brown eyes trailed to his wrist. For three weeks he’s been clean. He hasn’t even cut his hips like he did that very first time. He was doing okay. But Shouyou felt compelled to see that red. His chest burned and his head started to hurt. Why? He’d taken his medicine already, so why was he still feeling depressed? Wasn’t the whole point of an ‘antidepressant’ to take away that feeling? Still, the feeling of being alone and sad bloomed in Shouyou’s chest. It was almost painful.  
Ignoring the feeling of anxiety, Shouyou pushed himself up from the dirty bathroom floor. He dusted himself off and huffed. He’d go to the room, rest, and pretend like nothing happened. He’d tell his friends that he was okay, because he had to be. He honestly wanted to get better, so he couldn’t let this pitiful anxiety get in his way.  
Shouyou won’t worry his friends anymore. They didn’t have time for him, with the Spring tournament rapidly approaching. It was their last chance to take their seniors to nationals. It was their last chance to make the ‘Battle at the Garbage Dump,’ with Nekoma, happen. Shouyou won’t allow his stupid depression to get in their way.  
The first year left the bathroom behind, making his way to the classroom that Karasuno was using as their living quarters for the weekend. Shouyou entered the room, and slowly slid the door closed behind him. The room was empty, except for the number of bags that were aligned at the far wall. Shouyou took his bag and sat himself with his back against the wall. He pulled out his book, notebooks, and pencils. Lately, studying has been another way for Shouyou to distract himself. Shouyou concentrated on the number of questions in front of him, allowing himself to lose track of time.  
\-----  
The first day of the weekend joint practice was over. The coaches had dismissed their students, opting to go out and drink. The high school students all parted into groups; those who wanted to practice still, the managers that went to prepare dinner, and those who called it quits for the day in order to take an early bath.  
Shouyou didn’t hear the door open. He was too focused on the math equations that were in front of him. “Hinata.” Shouyou jumped at his name being called, eyes snapping up to meet Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita. The trio chuckled half-heartedly, smiling at the first year.  
“I’m amazed. You’re actually studying pretty hard, huh?” Narita teased, sitting across from Shouyou with his legs crossed.  
The ginger chuckled. “Yeah.” He looked back down at his math homework. “Figured since I can’t play, might as well use the extra time to study better.” Shouyou replied, as Ennoshita and Kinoshita took a seat on either side of Narita. “Is practice over already?” He asked, glancing in between the three second years.  
“Yep.” Kinoshita replied, letting the weight of his upper body fall back onto his hands behind him. “You okay?” The hazel haired teen asked quietly, as to not startle Shouyou. “You left so suddenly. None of us found time to come after you.”  
Shouyou shook his head and gave his best reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’m alright.” He waved off. “I was just feeling a bit claustrophobic. I’m glad none of you came after me. You need to get ready for the tournament.” Shouyou lightly punched Narita in the leg. “Especially you! You’ll be taking my place as middle blocker, so take everyone to nationals, senpai!” Narita’s cheeks turned a bright pink at the encouragement from Shouyou.

  
“O-of course~!” Narita grinned at his junior. “Leave it to me!”  
Ennoshita and Kinoshita laughed, slapping Narita roughly on the back. “Better not let Hinata down!” Ennoshita teased, making Narita’s face flush even more . “Your junior is counting on you!”  
“I know that!” Narita bit back, playfully shoving Ennoshita away from him.  
Shouyou smiled at the sight, continuing to joke around with his upperclassmen. He forgot about his math homework for the time being. And as the conversation between the four continued randomly, the sense of loneliness slowly disappeared from Shouyou’s chest.  
\-----  
Since Shouyou’s traumatic night with his father and company, Shouyou wasn’t particularly fond of night anymore. Back in his house, the end of the day always meant that it was time for Shouyou to be punished. It meant experiencing pain. So when night fell, Shouyou’s anxiety skyrocketed. It felt particularly bad because he wasn’t at his temporary home, the Oikawa residence. He was in a place that he wasn’t familiar with, and the swelling in his chest worsened.  
Shouyou tossed and turned in his futon. He couldn’t get comfortable. Shouyou moved to lie on his back for the umpteenth time. He stared at the ceiling, instantly remembering his lonely nights in the hospital. A spark in his chest made Shouyou cringe. The first year sat up, looking around at his sleeping teammates. All of them were sleeping soundlessly. Shouyou looked down at the two that he was set up in between. To his immediate left was Tsukishima, and beside him was Yamaguchi, then Kageyama. To Shouyou’s right was Tanaka, then Nishinoya, then, the wall. Shouyou’s breathing hitched suddenly and the pain in his chest increase.  
He had to leave.  
Shouyou stood up as quietly as possible. He headed to his bag, looking for his phone. During his search, pain erupted at the tip of his finger. Shouyou quickly pulled his hand from his bag, but his body froze at seeing a tiny bead of red at the tip of his finger. He scrunched his eyebrows together, and opened his phone as a source of light. Shouyou dug through his bag again. He flinched at the light that gleamed back at him from the bottom of his bag.  
It was a blade.  
A secret one that Oikawa and Iwaizumi didn’t know about. It was another blade that Shouyou had thrown in his bag the night he left his house with Natsu. He’d forgotten it was there. The other blade he’d snuck in his sweatpants was taken and disposed of at the hospital. Shouyou had forgotten about this ‘extra’ that he’d thrown in his bag on whim. Slowly the auburn haired teen reached into his bag.  
He froze when the familiar coolness of the metal pressed against Shouyou’s fingertips. Shouyou looked back at his sleeping friends, making sure that no one was secretly watching him. Carefully, he looked over each of the bodies lying underneath thick comforters. No glowing eyes met his. Shouyou looked back to his bag, carefully plucking the razor blade from the bottom of the bag. Ever so slowly, Shouyou slipped it into his sweat’s pocket.  
This scene was familiar.  
Slipping a razor blade into his pocket at the peak of night, when no one else was watching him. Adrenaline pumped through Shouyou’s blood, as he quickly and quietly tiptoed out of the room with his phone still clutched in one hand. He closed the door slowly. Shouyou bit his lip, looking up and down the halls for any sign of movement. Seeing none, Shouyou moved down the hall to the bathroom that he had used near the gym.  
\-----  
Kuroo was awoken by the sounds of shuffling in the futon beside him. He blinked to adjust his eyesight to the utter black of night. Kuroo shifted to his side, propping up his body to stare at Kenma. The second year setter was lying on his stomach, with a pillow underneath his chin and his PSP in his hands. The light of the game reflected off of Kenma’s eyes, creating an interesting glow of blue in the setter’s gold iris’. “Kenma, what time is it? You should be sleeping.”  
“It’s barely one.” Kenma replied in his usual quiet tone.  
“Exactly. You should be asleep.” Kuroo muttered back, staring at his childhood friend. “We have to get up early for breakfast and practice. Turn that off and sleep.” The Nekoma captain ordered. Kenma scowled, still not looking at the third year. “Seriously Kenma. Don’t make me take that aw-” Kuroo was cut off by Kenma suddenly freezing. The setter sat up, eyes looking toward the door. “What?” Kuroo questioned.  
“Someone just ran past the door.” Kenma notified.  
The captain rolled his eyes. “Probably a bathroom trip.” Kuroo brushed off. “Go to sleep.”  
Kenma ignored his friend, instead getting up and walking to the door. Kuroo watched closely, interested in Kenma’s curiosity. Usually Kenma would’ve brushed something like this off too. The two toned setter wasn’t nosey in the slightest, never sticking his nose where it wasn’t wanted. Kenma slid the door open and peeked outside. He gasped, and Kuroo sat up fully. “Shouyou.” Kenma whispered, exiting the room and going after the ginger from Karasuno.  
Kuroo sighed, running his hands through his hair. He pushed himself up from his futon and left the room to follow his friend.  
\-----  
Shouyou was relieved that the bathroom near the gym wasn’t locked. He pushed the door open and walked inside The lights were off. He reached his hand out to feel the wall to his right, finding the light switch a second later. White light flooded the room, temporarily blinding Shouyou. The high schooler rubbed his eyes and blinked the pain away. Shouyou sighed, walking to one of the bathroom sinks. He leaned forward and turned on the tap water. Without looking at himself in the mirror, Shouyou splashed water on his face.  
“You don’t need it.” Shouyou muttered, pressing his hands to the sink. He gripped the porcelain so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “You don’t need it.” He said firmly, eyes traveling down to the pocket of his sweats, where the blade was tucked away. “I don’t need it.” Shouyou whispered, his voice weaker this time. “I’ve been clean for three weeks.”  
No matter how much Shouyou repeated the words, the hypnotizing need to see his blood was too compelling. Shouyou’s voice became background music to his own ears. Almost on automatic, Shouyou’s left hand moved down and into his pocket. The cooling sensation relaxed the pain in his chest. The tightness in his throat went away too. He took the metal between his index and middle finger, lifting it from his pocket. As Shouyou brought the metal up to his face, it was almost like that first time in the hospital, after his mother died.  
Shouyou could vividly remember that day.  
He could almost pretend he was there again, in the bathroom of the hospital. The door was locked, and the mirror was cracked underneath his fist. Shouyou had been so angry that day, and so sad at the same time.  
The feeling of sadness and anger swirled in Shouyou’s stomach again. That day was a day that Shouyou wanted desperately to forget. It was the day he lost his mom, and the day his dad broke him. Shouyou was surprised at the red that lined the inside of the sink. He focused his mind again on the present, only to find that his left hand was clenching the blade too tightly against his palm. Red slipped down his hand and dripped from his wrist.  
“Shit.” Shouyou muttered.  
He ran the water again, transferring the blade into his right hand. Shouyou winced at the stinging of the cut across his palm and fingers. He had wanted to cut, but this was unintentional. He didn’t want it like this. He didn’t want it because then his team will be worried. Shouyou won’t be able to hide something like this. Where the cut was was obvious, and easy to see.  
“Sh-Shouyou.” There was a sharp gasp from the door. Shouyou snapped his head up, staring at Kenma with equally wide eyes. The setter’s eyes travelled down to Shouyou’s hands, where the blood was still running under the warm water and the other hand was holding the all-too-visible razor.  
“I-I didn’t mean..” Shouyou felt panic replace the anger and pain. Suddenly all he could think about was what Kenma thought of him. ‘Does he think I’m weak? Does he hate me now? Oh god, he’s going to hate me now! He’s gonna run and tell everyone else. Then everyone is going to hate me and the team. Then the team is going to hate me! They’re going to leave me!’ Shouyou choked on air, as tears pooled at the bottom of his eyes. “K-Kenma--”  
Kenma spun around before Shouyou could finish his sentence, and left the bathroom in a hurry. Shouyou sniffled, turning his head to his stinging hand. The wound had stopped bleeding, but the cut was still red and irritated. The first year glanced back to his right hand, in which the blade was resting in his uninjured palm. Silently the teen debated whether or not to make another cut. He might as well since after this, everyone is going to leave him. Shouyou took a deep breath, bringing the familiar metal to his wrist. ‘Oikawa and Iwaizumi are gonna be pissed.’ He thought, and bit his lip.  
“In here!” Shouyou froze at the muffled sound of Kemna’s voice through the closed bathroom door. He froze in his movements as the door creaked open again. Kenma rushed in, carrying a white box in his hands. Entering behind him was Nekoma’s captain. His eyes were wide, frantically searching the room, before landing on Shouyou’s shaking figure. “Shouyou.” Kenma called, and the first year’s eyes focused on the setter, who was now right in front of him. “Let me see your hand.”  
Shouyou couldn’t respond verbally, letting Kemna pull his left hand from underneath the running water. “Y-you came back?” Shouyou finally pushed the words past his lips.  
Kenma’s head shot up, eyes locking with the Karasuno first year. “I wouldn’t leave you like this.” He said, turning his eyes back to the first aid kit and Shouyou’s hand. “Give that thing to Kuroo.” Kemna demanded, eyes narrowing at the blade still in the other teen’s hand. Shouyou trembled, reaching his right hand out to the third year. Kuroo took three steps exactly until he was directly besides the two younger males. Kuroo took the razor and threw it in the trash.  
It was deathly silent between the three volleyball players.  
Kenma focused on disinfecting and wrapping Shouyou’s hand. Kuroo was watching intently, eyes roaming over the ginger’s body and trying to comprehend why the hell such a bright kid would hurt himself. Like Kenma, Kuroo was pretty observant. It wasn’t all that hard to tell that Shouyou of all people had changed. He was so bright and happy, but when he walked out of the bus earlier today, the first year seemed more reserved. Shouyou, on the other hand, avoided the eyes of the Nekoma players. His mind was racing.  
‘Why hadn’t they left? Why had Kenma come back? What did they think of him now? Were they disgusted? Even though they were helping. Maybe they felt obligated to help because it was a training camp.’  
Shouyou didn’t realize that he started shaking even more. He’d unconsciously pulled away from Kenma’s grasp. His shoulders pressed to his ears and Shouyou kneeled, curling into himself. The black had returned at the corner of his eyes. Where was Asahi? He was asleep. Sleeping soundly, completely unaware of the panic that was arising in Shouyou’s chest. Shouyou choked and gasped.  
“Hey, Hinata.” Kuroo hurriedly kneeled beside the teen. He placed his hand on the younger’s back, rubbing in slow circles. Kenma had moved back, eyes wide and scared. Kenma didn’t know how to handle something like this. “Breathe.” Kuroo urged. “Just breathe. You’re okay. Whatever that head of yours is thinking, it isn’t true.” The captain whispered. “We aren’t leaving. We’re staying right here. Breathe.”  
Shouyou’s eyes were half lidded by the time he regained his breath. Kuroo pulled the smaller male to his chest, allowing the boy to lean on him. “I-is he okay?” Kenma spoke in a hushed whisper, scared to trigger another panic attack.  
“Yeah, he’s fine now.” Kuroo reassured, allowing Kenma to come closer. “Let’s get him back to his room.” The third year tucked him left arm under Shouyou’s knees, the other arm wrapping around his shoulders. He stood carefully, letting Shouyou lean his head on his shoulder. Kenma nodded, and followed his childhood friend and the first year out of the bathroom.  
Shouyou took a deep breath, already feeling himself doze off. “Thanks.” Shouyou muttered.  
“Don’t thank us.” Kuroo stated with a small, teasing smirk. “We won’t ask questions, but make sure you get better, okay?”  
“Yeah, Shouyou.” Kenma added, “I don’t want to see you like that again. It was scary.”  
Shouyou closed his eyes, fully relaxing into Kuroo’s grasp. “I owe you an ex-explanation.”  
“Don’t worry about that.” Kenma and Kuroo said in unison, stopping in front of the classroom that Karasuno was using. The second year reached up and slid the door open.  
Inside the small room, one person was sitting up. He turned his head toward the door. “Yo, Tsukki.” Kuroo smiled lazily, as the blonde first year stood up. “You’re up.”  
The glasses wearing first year grunted, holding his arms out. Kuroo chuckled, letting Tsukishima take Shouyou into his own arms. “I woke up because of him.” He nudged his head back to Tanaka, who had sprawled himself across Shouyou’s futon. From the way the second year was lying, he had probably kicked Tsukishima. “I saw the shrimp was gone, and was about to go look for him.” He paused, eyeing the sleeping ginger. “What happened to his hand?” Tsukishima was another observant person, only believing the facts in front of him.  
“Dunno.” Kuroo shrugged. “Kenma said that Hinata said he didn’t mean it. Don’t be to hard on the kid.”  
“If you knew what happened, you’d have a different response.” Tsukishima glared at the Nekoma players. “Whatever. There’s still early practice. I’m going back to sleep.” The blonde turned and walked back to the far side of the room, where his and Shouyou’s futons were side-by-side. “Close the door when you leave.”


End file.
